Skaði: Origin - Part 2

The Age of Gods.

I knew I was dreaming again; it once again had the strange quality to it that the memories of the big – maybe giant – man had. Though I couldn’t clearly see my body, I could feel his loneliness and sorrow. We spent many days walking, snowshoeing and skiing through the mountains, sometimes he returned to his dwelling – a hut built in front of a cave. But he didn’t like being there as he had no-one to share it with.

We went on trips to the meeting spot, but nobody was ever there, he’d hang around for a day or two then return home, despondent and grieving. Occasionally he’d set off down the trail toward the water but never progressed far each time giving up before making it as far as the shore.

While I didn’t really see the passage of time as I would have had I lived it myself I knew that many years even decade were passing. The man whose memories I was riding must be old by now, but he still moved as though young.

One day he passed through the meeting place and walked down to the water, it was different to how we remembered it, a proper path ran along the shore, and we soon met other people. He ignored them mostly, but when he did speak to them, they looked scared but always gestured downstream. I still could make no sense of the actual words just picking up impressions from the memories. My man was definitely frustrated and sad, these people were not the ones he was looking for nor did he care for them feeling apathy and disgust toward them.

We followed their directions though and moved down the valley alongside the water, I soon noticed landmarks that were still present in my day, and I realised that somewhere in the distant future I lay near here injured. By the dress of these people this was deep in the past, these were the Norsemen who would when they went off in their boats be called Vikings. But these were just people, some male some female and a scattering of kids. They appeared distrustful of my host even a little scared but in general they seemed happy with their lot.

Finally, after many hours of travel we came to a walled compound that completely blocked the path, my host finally felt hope. He’d been expecting a compound such as this I assumed. We walked closer to the gates, but they were hurriedly closed as we approached and my host stopped to shout something, I could even feel the power of the shout but like always couldn’t understand the words.

After a while one leaf of the gate opened and an enormous man walked out, it was only as he drew closer that I realised that this man was smaller than the man whose memories I was watching – which meant he must be two and half to three metres tall. The man he was facing was older and looked like he’d seen many battles but was probably only two and a half metres at most, the guards he’d passed as he left the compound had looked like normal human sized men, yet they were at least half a metre shorter.

The man we faced was battle scarred, armed and armoured. A great gouge down one side of his face had left a huge scar his right eye was missing the socket healed over yet his left was a pearly white as though he were completely blind. His face and demeanour were welcoming and while armed his sword was still sheathed, as he reached us, he flung his arms out as though to hug my host.

We stepped back and started to speak, I felt fear, worry, anger and despair. The one-eyed warrior didn’t look angry just resigned and instead of drawing his sword he merely grinned again then leaped forward punching with one enormous fist into my host’s face. We went down… the memory wavered and I thought that that would be it, instead I could feel us being dragged into the compound.

The memory leaped forward and suddenly we were sprawled before the one-eyed warrior, he sitting in a throne like chair, us on the floor in front of him, the room was lit by the fire and other than us I could see no other people. The warrior stood and began to speak, I was still unable to understand the words but felt my host tremble in fear, disgust, resignation, anger and hate. Whatever he was saying my host was very unhappy. After a moment where he clearly waited for a response, he shrugged and grabbed a metal band that had been out of sight by the throne. With little difficulty he split it and then grabbing my host he installed it round our neck.

We moved on and the in the next memory we were in a smaller room, clearly something like a personal room or bed chamber though I wouldn’t think the pile of furs and blankets was especially comfortable. The guy who had – I guess – enslaved us was now standing between us and the door and even though I knew that if I could run, I could escape fighting him wasn’t an option. My host felt disgust and despair as he began to remove his clothes.

His skin was even more battered than his face with scars literally covering his torso and legs. He spoke and gestured for me to disrobe too, I knew the inevitability of what was to come and did as instruct, knowing that no matter what this man did to me he wouldn’t be able to break me.

Thankfully for my sanity I didn’t have to remember the actual rape, I only knew it was going to happen. After a long period of blank nothingness, the memories resumed. For the first time my host wasn’t a blur – prior to this memory I had only ever seen the weapons and skis they used and the odd glimpse of a gloved hand or booted foot.

Now I suddenly realised that my host wasn’t in fact male at all, I was a woman. When she looked down, I saw breasts and a rounded stomach, clearly a long way on in a pregnancy. And I knew that if this was the result of the previous memory eight months had passed, and this woman bore the result. Her hand on my tummy she felt hope for the future, love for her unborn child… but still the hate and apathy for her situation.

The next memory was after the birth she held a beautiful child – a boy, all golden curls and cherubic cheeks. His father standing looking on with what I felt was something other than the lust/hate/fear that my host felt, but her feelings won out and I began to feel like we were one person. Maybe due to my earlier unease about the apparent homosexual love with the first man – who I now guessed was her first love or husband.

Our captor returned many times and each time the memory of what actually happening was blank or so distorted that I only picked up what had happened from other clues. The vile bastard certainly was virile, one rape led to one child. And over the decades that I relived we bore him hundreds.

I’d gone through countless births; several had been twins. And while the memories of some of the births were just skipped or blank I got to experience many of them first hand – I think that all of the things I feel are dimmed down from the original experience because I don’t think I could keep doing this if the pain of child birth is really as bad as it feels. And there are ways out of this life even if I can find no way to actually escape.

My captor returns I think about once every four to five years, examines that last child he begat then takes it away never to be seen again. He doesn’t bother taking my daughters away he kills them in front of me, each time he does this my hate grows and I plan my revenge. Of all my children the deaths of my twin daughters are the hardest. The first pair arrive after forty-nine other children, I live with them for almost five years before their father turns up and kills them – I almost lose the ability to think and his stay is longer as I refuse to accede to his demands.

~@~

I’m thrust out of the memories and back into the real world, my leg is on fire, but the rest of me is fine if uncomfortable. I’m sitting in a puddle of cold pee as apparently my bladder couldn’t wait for me to wake up – as cold as it is it must have happened hours ago. I turn on and examine my phone, it is difficult to see what the time is as the screen is so battered and no longer takes input accurately, but I work out I have been lying here slowly dying for two days.

Far away I hear the sounds of a helicopter I try and sit up straighter, but I have been lying in one position for too long and not eaten or drunk anything for the same amount of time and I am weak and stiff – too stiff, to do more than wriggle. As I turn my phone off again, I try and find an energy bar in my pack, I have two left and not much more than a swallow of water in my water bottle. If rescue doesn’t arrive soon, I will not be alive to be rescued, it’s a race now between rescue and thirst.

I’m not sure what I am experiencing I thought my own life would flash before my eyes, but it seems I have gained the life of a giantess from the distant past, I’m so confused. At first, I thought him male and was confused about the feelings or adoration for another man. I knew they were his feelings but at the same time they felt like my own. Now that I know am seeing the memories of a woman, I don’t have that disconnect, but on the other hand I am seeing things that no normal man will ever experience, having a baby hurts, almost more than my leg. Having a child then having it suckle at my breast is an amazing experience. I just wish I was likely to live for long enough that I could do something with that knowledge – as my death is probably only a few days away at most, instead I am filled with regret that these memories will vanish with my own.

~@~

The memories have changed once again, the one-eyed man hasn’t returned in many years and the last child – now a strapping adult – is my solace. Not my only one though at some point I have been joined by some animal companions. Two bitches, tall, long legged hunting dogs. Of course, we don’t hunt I am as ever unable to leave the compound, but I can see their ability in their graceful lines and keen eyes. Joining me and the dogs are two birds, some form of corvid – though I don’t know the exact species I wonder if they might be Ravens.

All my needs are provided for by the people who live in the compound with me they are skilled hunters and fishermen, the flatland between the compound and the mountains is covered in crops that grow well and even though my mind tells me that crop rotation is a modern thing they rotate their crops and even leave fields fallow for a season. The women weave fine cloth, and the children grow up healthy and straight. In all regards apart from my confinement this place should be a paradise.

When he finally does arrive again, it is after many lifetimes for the people who live around me, they prostrate themselves in fear and reverence, but he only has eyes for me. My oldest son is examined and found wanting, his breast pierced by the kin-slayer’s cursed spear moments later. I fall to my knees and even though I still do not understand the words spoken I know what is said, I call down a curse on the evil man, cursing him to the end of time – and beyond. This was the last child that I would bear him.

It struck me now that I knew who this one-eyed spear wielder was, Odin One-Eye. Leader of the gods of the Norse. I turned from him weeping for all that I had lost to this demon in the guise of a god – and yet the other me that had read Norse legends in school knew that Odin certainly wasn’t always a nice guy, but this seemed extreme even for him – Zeus now he would have done this for lolz…

But my emotions overwhelmed even these thoughts, I needed to escape run free one last time. I looked around for my animal companions, but I saw that they were hiding from Odin, his sight saw all, but they hid anyway.

~@~

Odin stayed in the compound for many weeks, every evening he approached my bed chamber and demanded his tribute and every evening I refused. I didn’t know why now he didn’t just take it as he had done in the past, but I knew that something was changing, as the weeks passed into months, I maintained my refusal. Eventually I noticed that for the first time in hundreds of years I was beginning to age. Grey streaks appeared in my hair going from spun silver/gold to grey in a few weeks.

Finally Odin approached me for the final time. For the first time I saw an emotion other than bright delight on his lips. For a moment I saw sorrow but then I realised it had twisted into hate and scorn. He spoke and I felt a certain joy that I had made him give up, I felt that he was leaving never to return. I wasn’t free to leave though, his loyal guards would remain and keep me here until I died of age. It was a victory of a kind. Death would be a fitting end to my captivity.

But it was not to be, the once populated compound fell into disrepair almost as soon as Odin left on his chariot. His guards became misshapen and twisted into horrible beasts, and every night they got closer to my bed chamber, during the day they retreated, but as the humans left – or were killed and eaten – they became bolder. I knew then that Odin had lied I wasn’t going to be allowed to die in peace I would be despoiled and killed by his guards. I knew now I must escape, but the collar Odin had affixed to my neck so many years before still prevented me leaving.

My animal companions, my only happiness now saved me. Somehow, they managed to work the collar free over many weeks. But the hideous misshapen guards were nearly at my door, now apart from the middle of the day they were too close to allow me to flee. I bided my time waiting for a nice day to run. Finally, it arrived dawning bright and sunny, the beasts retreated, and I strung my bow and thinned their numbers while also setting fire to what buildings remained, forcing them to flee. Then I ran.

I was no longer as fast as I once had been, and I was by the water where I didn’t have any real advantage. If I’d been on the snow-covered mountain slopes, then I could have left my pursuers far behind. But still I ran, my birds flew ahead leading me to the best path and my dogs stayed by my heels urging me on. My pursuers though rapidly caught up to me, one of my dogs turned and attacked them, I turned too but the remaining dog and birds urged me to flee.

I heard a loud howl and turned to see my dog slain, shot from afar with bows then slaughtered like my youngest son with spears. As she lay on the strand she twitched and became a young woman. I knew then that my companions were the twin girls that Odin had murdered all those years ago – I ran.

Eventually I had nowhere left to run the path I was following lead to a massive fall of rock, it was fresh but something told me that I recognised it – the birds insisted that I could pass it but I found myself unable to climb it and I knew entering the water would give my pursuers even more advantage so I turned at bay. One final time, but I urged my daughters to not give up their lives, I would die here but they could live on.

I began to shoot arrows into my attackers, every shot dropped one. But there were dozens and even I as I fired more appeared out of the trees odd ripples in the water told me that that escape was blocked too. Finally, I was out of arrows and unstrung my bow to use the stave as a staff. But it was not to be I was soon receiving arrows myself; I managed to catch some and dodge others, but it was only a matter of time before one sank deep into my left thigh, and then several into my chest.

As I lay with the sun setting on my life, I saw a young boy lying nearby wearing strange clothes, he too was injured but I didn’t understand where he had come from, my pursuers had melted back into the shadows they knew we were finished. As I looked at the boy he awoke and his eyes met my own, we had a moment of connection, and I knew I died with a smile on my lips.

~@~

I awoke with a start looking over to see the outline of a giant woman, she winked and smiled at me before slumping and slowly fading into nothingness. Two birds flew down to where her body had lain and a large dog trotted out of the trees and came to sit by me, I had passed many lifetimes with this hound and while I grieved for her sister, I knew that they were safe now. My own injuries were healing I could feel strength returning to my body I might still be trapped by the rockslide, but I wasn’t going to die here after all. As I turned away from the rockslide that still entombed my father the two birds flew to me and took up perches on my shoulders as they had for many years. I’d have to find them some names but for now just their companionship was enough.