Christmas Duet (Part 3) by Domoviye

Dreamer wrote:

SPOILER ALERT
Below is a stream of consciousness commentary I type up as I read the story. Details from the story will be included. If you have not read the story yet and don't wish to have details spoiled, read no further.

Warning: Spoiler!

December 18th, 2016
Chandler Greater Phoenix Area
Fanak's Home
Late Evening
Oh god, the horror of seeing that happen to Alexa in person and her enhanced senses making her sense all that still, Faiza needs to see a counselor. Surgery to fix Alexa's leg is a success, but it might take up to a year for all the damage to heal, and she might need more surgeries. Iron Rain must pay for this. Layla, Faiza's 17-year-old sister, comes to check up on her and asks if she wants to talk about it. Talk to your sister, you can trust her with this.
...
Fai, please open up to her before Iron Rain ends up harming your family, and they aren't prepared to defend themselves or know why.

Fai really does need to see a therapist. But... try convincing her of that.
And I liked how Layla turned out, even if she couldn't get Fai to open up. I haven't really had Fai deal with her family, so I need to fix that. We'll see her interacting with her family a lot in her next story, which will be all hers. And Iron Rain will play an important part.

Outlaw's Tavern,
Nighttime
Ack! Don't get hooked on Devisor's Brew, Forte. Just how many variants of Devisor's coffee are there? Forte has been busy, I can see why she got so little rest. Big Guy is smart, always read the instructions. The sleeper whip is a great creation, about 20 hits while charged up. Seesh, now I see why Devisor coffee is so popular in the Whateley Workshop.

Big Guy has survived for quite a few years on his own as muscle for criminals and supervillains without getting convicted of anything.
He's not dumb muscle, and he's learned quite a few tricks.
And Forte drinks the coffee only because she can't just collapse for a day. She will not get addicted to it. As for how many variants there are, plenty. Take really strong coffee, make it as black as possible, dump in various legal and illegal stimulants into it, and done.

December 19th, 2016
Mesa, Greater Phoenix Area,
Claremont Street
Early afternoon
Eating desserts with Port at the Cool Cat Creamery, I hope she can work things out and stop blaming herself for what happened to Alexa with this talk. Dang, asking Port if he knows a healer who can help Alexa heal faster.

“You don't have to work for anyone, I want to make that very clear right off the bat. The problem we have is that there aren't many high-level healers in Phoenix. We've had a bad few years, so most of the remaining healers are focused on life or death situations, or wouldn't be able to do much more than speed up the healing by a few weeks at best and would be visiting repeatedly.”

Yikes, I knew things were bad in Phoenix, but not that bad. Fai, you know so little about Thulia. She is home for Christmas break right now, by this point, most likely.

It's mentioned in Making a Noise in the World: Outro, that a regular high level healer named Panacea was killed in a traffic accident in the spring. That was a big blow for Phoenix, and completely random chance.
And yeah, Fai knows almost nothing about Thulia, she'll learn more in January, which was shown already in Dragon's In Winter.

Fai, if you don't tell your parents soon, then Port might have to take matters into his hands if the situation becomes dire enough. Fai, once school starts up and things settle down again, something else will come up that will make you delay telling them. There is no perfect time for this kind of news.

I'm sure she'll tell them soon enough.

Phoenix, Arizona
Late afternoon

There has to be some kind of work she can do with them that won't be combat-focused and will help achieve Lolomi's intended goals and message to Fai. Rats, Lolomi is right, if they tell her parents, then Fai will stop trusting them, or might try to find a new source of help and end up following someone bad without realizing it.

Fanak is only a volunteer to help if her sense of smell is needed. And even that is mostly just for show, to get her connected to the team.
To do anything more, and even to legally volunteer, Lolomi will need her parents to sign off on things. Without that, she can't be an intern, file paperwork, or even clean up after a PR event.

Dang, Lolomi works fast, already has that all planned out for a Christmas Eve visit to a children's hospital.

“She's not even from Earth. I've been having her learning as much as she can about our laws and basic customs and it's a bit of a challenge. At least she knows how money works. You should have seen her trying to negotiate for a soda yesterday. If she ever buys a used car, I wouldn't be surprised if the dealer gives her money.”

Please, please make a short story with a scene of her doing this.

I figured visiting the hospital a few times a year would be common for a popular superhero group, and Christmas would be a big event. So it fits nicely. Originally I hadn't planned any of this, but as I was working on the story it all made sense and fit really nicely together.
Getting Laysa to come in as a healer was pushing things realistically, but meh, if that's the biggest problem, I'm doing good.
I had a few beta readers laughing at that last bit. Unfortunately I don't have the skill or knowledge to do a scene or short story about that. I have haggled before, but that was when the seller and myself didn't speak each others language except for some numbers and 'No', so it was mostly a case of seeing who was more stubborn and willing to stop first.

Chandler, Greater Phoenix Area
Late Evening
Mandy needs to be put in contact with the Phoenix Warriors now!

*Evil Laugh*

Phoenix Warriors Headquarters
Afternoon

A relaxing-in outfit after patrol, Kasa knows how to wind down.

“Yes I do. I need a rest from reading.” Laysa wrinkled her nose in distaste. “Your rules are almost as hard as the rules for priests in the Temple Cities.”

And some laws are unique to each state, you need a thick notebook to keep track of unique ones alone. Aww, she calls her VI a homunculus. Do all VIs have quirky and silly personalities?

I was trying to think of what she would a VI. A familiar could have worked, but that seems more specialized. So homunculus felt right, its just an artificial/magical helper that generally just follows instructions with not a lot of initiative.
And I think most of them would have a baseline personality that comes off as a bit childish or basic at first, gaining more personality and habits as it interacts with it's user.
Some like the health VI Blue, are much more settled personality wise so they can act as professional helpers for their user.

Ouch, so that is why the team has a female-minority. Ouch, poor Shadow, to lose the Laughing Man like that.

“OK,” Laysa replied. “He is like some air and water spirits who change when they get bored of one form or need to interact with a group that prefers one sex over the over.”

“Yeah, that sounds about right,” she replied.

It figures they have similar concepts on even the elemental planes.

Yeah, with the police, women make up around 25% of officers. With heroes having women making up less than half, seemed right. I won't put an exact number on it, but the majority of heroes that have been mentioned have been male, so I felt like I was on pretty solid ground.
And I was going with folklore and myths for a fair bit of the stuff in the Plain of Air, so having some spirits with no fixed sex or gender, and others who are mostly women and others mostly men, with their own ideas on what is best fit the various stories.
With Laysa in the Hindu religion, all the women like her are dancers, and all the men who have a different name play instruments, I played it a bit fast and loose there, with her grandfather being a healer, but if I was to go deeper into her people and culture, that would be the norm.

Mesa, Greater Phoenix Area
Early Evening
Izzy and Sebastian. Izzy is a good person. Magma Man and Shadow show up. Cole, quite the coincidence for someone with that name to have the codename of Magma Man. Fluffy, she calls Dae Jung Fluffy. Lolomi shows up, followed by Road Runner, Janet, and Laysa. Crud, Dae Jung is afraid June will see Laysa as taking her job with her current state of mind.

Someone up in the skies with June while out on patrol, when she gets back, good. Thank you, little VI, for helping June. And Road Runner and Laysa for putting June at ease. Her breaking down again, I couldn't stand seeing that again. She deserves better.

I enjoyed having Mogollon called Fluffy. It's a cute pet name that normally wouldn't have been shared outside, but June forgot that bit. So Mogollon has a new nickname now.
I wanted to keep things light here, so no breakdown, and carefully chosen words to keep her unstable emotions as stable as possible.
And yeah she deserves better, but heroes will get injured. She was the unfortunate who got the short straw this time. Others will get it later.

December 21st, 2016
Chandler, Greater Phoenix Area
Morning
Fanak, you are helping out a friend, not breaking any laws, nor endangering yourself; I think Lolomi would be proud of your judgment in this situation.

Fanak! Don't lie and say you are 18; you are indeed an intern, but you are stretching the truth here.

Fanak isn't breaking any laws, but she isn't an intern or really associated with the Warriors. She also wants to make everything seem official and not have Mandy's mom asking questions, so raising her age isn't that bad in THIS case.

The Phoenix MCO, I hope it isn't a lot worse than the Dallas one, and Fanak is about to learn a harsh truth. Wait a minute, shouldn't the local authorities and not the MCO, be involved in releasing someone on bail? I don't like how the receptionist reacts to seeing Fanak's MID. Why aren't either Mrs. Chalmers or Fanak with Mandy at all times, even if she is just doing testing?

The MCO has cells for mutants, that are more secure than a regular jail cell. So keeping them locked in there until the court comes through with a decision on bail and other things is appropriate. They'd have the info from the courthouse and just keep the person in until their ride arrives and it's time to let them out.

At least Mike is smart enough to tell the receptionist to leave her alone. And yes, you are adorable in your were-fox form, Fanak.

Mandy is so sad she is on the verge of crying, aww. TK 5 and Regen 5, yikes, powerhouse. Codename is Spinach because she couldn't think of anything except Popeye when they asked, ouch, but is it just the codename, or did they tell her something else that has her sad?

I wanted to show that the MCO isn't full of idiots. And a minor vigilante like Fanak is not someone they'd want to arrest without a VERY good reason. If they knew about her part in burning down a building with a few dozen people inside, they'd have her surrounded and on the ground about a minute, but only the Warriors know that and they're keeping it close to their chest.

I made a mistake with the TK 5, that should have been PK.
And she's a very tough powerhouse.
Mandy is sad because she isn't sure she's safe. Smashing her bed like that scared her, as did a few other things, that have been hinted at.

December 24th, 2016
Phoenix Children's Hospital
Early Afternoon
Hospitals on the Plane of Air, but few and only in cities. Wind Dancer can only heal those whose parents have permitted her to, rats. Holographic disguises only to drop them for a big reveal, Lolomi knows how to work PR. MM talking to kids, he would be a great father. Everyone is set to work with kids and teens as best fits their abilities and temperament.

I need to show a bit of the Plane of Air sometime, it's pretty cool. Just need to avoid making it a big thing since it doesn't really have much to do with any plot lines.
And making sure the parents agree, helps to avoid being sued later.
With Lolomi and the way everyone goes to certain kids, he's been doing this for years. It's a part of the job and he's got it down pat.

Neat trick and nice souvenir from MM for the kids. The smell of rotting meat from a room with a young teenage boy, crap. Mateo, his limbs are rotting off, but he can move things with his mind. Sometimes these mutations are just cruel. Hearing about Whateley Academy, you forget how unbelievable it sounds to those who haven't been there. Amputation of arms and legs, I hope he survives.

I wanted them all to have something special that they do. With Mogollon, feats of strength seemed best.
Blame Rose for the soon to be amputee. She came up with the idea after I'd done the hospital scene, and my muse thought it was a cruelly cool idea. So Mogollon is going to have a project for a while.

Dancing for such beings, and now she has to concentrate to keep a serene appearance. Yikes! Those places in her home sound like a nightmare.

She could see the children were being cared for, but little of it made sense to her. What were all the machines for? Why didn't they use magic to ease the pain? Why did they fill the children with tubes and needles? Why did everything have to feel so sterile and dead?

Yes, it is maddening when you don't know why those things are used or the reasons for them.

I didn't want Earth to be the garbage pile of the universe.
The Plane of Air has cool things, beautiful things, good things, and amazing things, but it's also got problems. And it's a very divided place since everything there can fly somehow, and solid ground is few and far between.

Trying to think about what hospitals and medicine would be like in a place where magic reigns supreme was interesting. It seemed like having illnesses and injuries being much more you live OR you die, would leave hospitals mostly for short term healing, not the long drawn out process we often have to deal with on Earth.
And that would be a mix of shocking and horrific to a person like Laysa.

Oh god. Amanda, to lose a child like that, yet still donate her organs.

Laysa slowly nodded in understanding. She had seen her family make similar decisions about who to help and who would be lost or lamed.

You never want to make that decision, and it hurts either way. Laysa, no! Entranced the nurse to get her to leave so you can try to save Amanda's life. If this doesn't work out, you are adding to the pain of her mother.

Laysa is a bit headstrong. When she knows her role, she will fill it as best she can. Take her out of the role, or give her a rule that she sees as stopping her from playing her role properly, she'll do what she thinks is right and ask questions later.
I also liked everything about this scene, from exhaling the essence as a mist, to dancing spirit like in the air. In the legends, her people are basically clouds with a solid form. So I ran with it.

Chandler, Greater Phoenix Area
Forte's Lair
Late Afternoon
Body dysmorphia due to the damage to her body from the accident; no wonder Forte doesn't like mirrors. Pictures of how she used to be, that is just feeding her resentment of her current situation. So much time passed, she dyed her hair as it used to be brown like her little brother, Micheal.

The accident ruined all their lives. Hadn't seen Micheal smile since, doesn't know if he plays sports anymore. A picture of her parents from her very last concert. Her identity as Forte was outed, her mother just telling the press to go away tells us nothing of how she feels about Forte.

Her last interaction with her mother was in Making A Noise in the World: Outro, where Forte was on the verge of committing suicide.
Calling her mother on the phone, had her mom begging her to listen to her, and saying that everything would be fine. Forte was too distraught to listen and just kept apologizing before saying to "“I'm sorry. I love you. I'm sorry. Just forget about me,”
So that call didn't go very well.

A call home and Micahel picks up, calls her Natalie, and then calls her Forte, ouch. Oh god, this is hard to read. She is trying to connect with her brother, apologize for what has happened to her family since she got outed as Forte, and Micheal doesn't want to hear any of it.

Wiping her eyes, Forte tried to think of what to say. “I'm sorry. I just- I just couldn't stay. I was going insane.”

It sounded like Micheal was crying when he replied. “Fine, you made your choice, stay away. Have fun killing heroes, Forte.” He hung up on her, leaving her listening to the dial tone.

God, I wish someone had figured out she had powers shortly after the accident so she could have gone to Whateley and gotten the help she needed. God, this broke her; she thought Micheal at least would still care for her.

Give Micheal some slack, he seems pretty torn about this too. He didn't immediately hang up on her, he did answer her question, and he was crying as he hung up. Teens aren't great at dealing with conflicting emotions.

And this is still only the 2nd worst Christmas Forte has ever had.

December 25th, 2016
Phoenix Warriors Headquarters
Infirmary
Afternoon
I knew it! Old Scratch does care about Laysa, in his own way.

Old Scratch is an asshole, and he's proud of that. But he takes care of his teammates in his own special jackass way, and Laysa is on his team.
He also wants to get the most out of his favours, and having her die healing some teenager before she even fights a criminal would be a total waste.

Da Chief's House Party
Late Evening
Job time and Forte double-checks her devises. Boy, Book's 'don't notice me' spell covers the whole car and everyone inside, that is powerful. And spell slips for Forte and Big Guy of the same spell. She used her blood to make them, I hate that demonic book. 15 minutes to do all that, that is a tight window on a place the size of a mansion. I've never realized how dangerous the 'don' notice me' spells are until now; using them to plant dangerous items without being noticed is scary to think about with real-world devices.

I wanted to make Book's magic unique. While blood is used in quite a few generic spells, almost everything Book does requires blood, either hers or someone elses. It seemed appropriate for a demon.

And I like to think I have a knack for finding the most dangerous ways of using seemingly simple things. Or sneaky ways to make dangerous things a lot more dangerous.

Forte took a moment to look at Da Chief singing and having fun with his friends. That had been her dream once. She'd just wanted to make music, to see people dancing to her songs, to share the joys of music with the world.

I hate that fate had other ideas for Forte.

Gotta twist that knife a little more.

Dang, Wave stuck guarding Da Chief's party since none of the other Elementals would work out for various reasons. Dang, quick reaction by Wave to dive into the pool and drop the holographic disguise to be ready for action in an instant. She weathers the sonic waves and surfaces to spot Big Guy stealing the million dollars. Ouch! Slammed by a massive amount of water and sent sprawling to the ground, Big Guy is in trouble. She was about to slam BG with a large, dense water ball when Forte shows up and forces Wave back under the water.

I wanted to have this heist be more than a simple walk in and win scenario, so I needed a hero. And it just so happened that I could JUST squeeze in one of the Elementals, with Amethyst's blessing.
Wave made the most sense.
And Yeah, Wave is a pretty tough fighter, there's a reason she's in charge of the Elementals.

Welp, no way to spot Wave in the pool, no idea why Wave is there, time to book it with the money. Dang, there goes that plan. Wave hits BG with a pillar of water, but traps Forte in a ball of water.

Currents in the water kept her from swimming to the surface, or even knowing which way was up.

Wave, I thought you were a superhero, what is with the attempted murder? Blast part of the water ball apart, gets her head out and a fresh breath of air, yet Wave traps her again. She is trying to drown her alive!

Another reason I chose Wave is she can attack multiple people at a time, but having to divide her attention does weaken her attacks.
And she's not going to drown Forte. A person can not breathe for 3 minutes with no real harm. She just needs to deal with a brick and person in power armour, who are in completely opposite directions. So she has to use her powers effectively. Keep Forte in the water for about 2 minutes then let her breathe, it will effectively take Forte out of play until she can disable Big Guy.

Book is ready to leave, but one man is convulsing like he is having a seizure, Book is no killer and goes to help him. A healing spell to save the man, only when finished, does she turn to see what is happening with her companions. Only to spot Wave batter BG with watery blasts after watery blasts, while Forte is trapped inside a watery ball with the threat of drowning. Gah! That spell will never not be creepy. The black tentacles erupting from the water around Wave wrap around her.

Is it bad when the baby demon is the heart of the team?
I like the tentacle spell. It's suitably creepy, but mostly harmless, so far.

Forte's Lab
Late that night
Nothing like a warm bath to help you ease your pain and troubles away. A few days before she gets her cut of the heist, I hope Forte remembers how she felt when she talked to Michael, about her thoughts on the past and decides to never risk severely harming or killing superheroes again. Ouch, Wave did a number on BG.

Wave had been hammering the guy's hips and legs to keep him in place. If she'd been able to concentrate all of her attention on him, she probably would have broken his leg or dislocated his knee.

Okay, I don't like Wave, she is ruthless to robbers, that is going too far for a protection gig.

“Well at least I have the money now. Even with the cash I still owe Doc Morris,” she said with a grin. “This is getting fun.”

Oh boy, and deeper down the rabbit hole she goes.

Cut Wave some slack here. She was dealing with two supervillains, one of whom had taken out a superhero a month before. She wasn't going for the kill, just trying to disable a brick and do her job. Wave is a tough hand to hand fighter, but getting into a fist fight with Big Guy would be a very bad idea for her, especially with Forte still fighting.
And yeah, Forte's tale is one of corruption and crime. The big questions for her is just how far will she go for cash, reputation and survival, and can she possibly pull out?

December 26th, 2016
Beach Outside of Monterrey, California
Early Morning
What the hell happened to this boy and his parents?

A man was screaming a few feet away from him. The killer had dropped his gun when he'd ripped out his own eyes, trying to make the terror go away. Another man lay face down in the water, unmoving. Two more were sprawled half in the water, one dead from a heart attack, the other from a stroke. The boy ignored all of them.

What the heck, did just the sight of the boy do this to these men? What has he become? Disappear, escape, survive. What kind of nightmare situation is this boy in? And if the sight of him is what caused all this to the men involved in killing his parents, will innocent victims not be far off in the future?

Say hello to Cutie Pie.
He's got a very good reason to stick close to a supervillain.

I'm glad Fai finally has her MID, her powers testing was interesting. Her interactions with the Phoenix Warriors, especially Toho, were great. Her connection to the Phoenix Warriors has seen how it helps her out. I wonder if one of these times she pulls it out and someone reacts badly. I only wish Fai would finally tell her parents everything and realize they will do what is right for her.

Thank you, I'm liking how Fanak is going as well. And being able to use Toho helped quite a lot.
Fanak has a rough road in front of her, but I think it will ultimately be satisfying.

Forte, I'm torn on her. I wish she would figure out a better way that doesn't harm people to live, but also, she has dug this hole herself, even if one major incident was an accident that nearly killed her and Sunhawk. I'm glad she has friends like Book and Big Guy in her life, that she is getting jobs that require less force and more finesse, but something tells me this won't last for long. Not in Phoenix. The thoughts while looking at old photos, I wish the call with her brother had gone better. She had another chance to be pulled out of the darkness, and yet again, she is abandoned. I can only hope seeing that duel between Gunslinger and Sicario has scared Forte off of killing.

Oh boy, Forte is going to be interesting.
The next big story is focused solely on her, and it's a freaking doozy of a story.

Seeing Book and what she is going through. It makes me wish I could change her fate and prevent her from ever opening that demonic book. She is too kind for this.

Yeah, Book got a very raw deal. Originally I'd kind of planned her to go to Whateley and trying to figure out how a spell gone wrong had turned her into what she is now, just with less demon and more fae-ishness, but she works so well here.

Ptolemy and Cassandra, I'm curious if they will show up again in the future or if this was a one-job deal. Their powers are interesting.

I have no idea. I like the idea behind them, but they didn't have a big role here except to hire the group. I will probably use them again, just need the right idea.

Dae Jung and June, it is hard to watch June go through this. To see her struggle, to know she could do things easily and now finds them hard or impossible. I'm glad she is showing some improvement, I only wish it could be faster for both their sakes.

I like showing the realistic sides of things. Heroes getting hurt would be all too common, and traumatic brain injuries are nasty.
Don't worry though, other heroes will be getting hurt in the future.

Laysa, I don't like how Old Scratch is using a debt to him to get her onto the team. She is a good being and deserves better than a connection to Old Scratch. I can only hope she survives her working with the Phoenix Warriors and her time on Earth.

Laysa is going to be living in interesting times for a while. Who knows, if she survives she may choose to stay on Earth for a while.

I hope that Iron Rain doesn't kill any of Fai's family or friends in any future stories. That creep needs to be dealt with for good.

Oh Iron Rain, what plans I have for you.

I can't wait to read more of Fanak, Forte, and all their friends in the future.

Lots of stories are coming. There's a short story by Amethyst and I, that will come next, currently untitled. Then Forte will star in Bad Memories, followed by Fanak in a story tentatively titled Poison Pill. Then it's a one shot Book story, maybe a short Forte and general story. And finally a big one with EVERYONE involved, A Very Bad Day.

Dreamer wrote:

That boy was Cutie Pie! Just what does he look like, or is it some psychic or other effect that invoked such terror in those men?