Tangled Up In Green

Since Kim had been having a craving for Bueno Nacho for the past several hours, the two of them were seated in one of the booths at the fast food Mexican place. Kim had been the one to get the food up at the counter while the pale green woman sat in the booth trying to settle herself. Things had been changing rapidly in Shego’s world and it was difficult to remain focused on who she had become rather that or who she was or even who she had been. That damn beam weapon of Electroniques that Ron had destroyed had shattered all of her carefully built up layers of tough and mean and bitchy and disdain and who she really was had begun to seep through slowly. She had been changing before all of this had started and was on the way to becoming something or rather someone else. That realization scared her in more ways than one.

Kim returned shortly with a tray laden with food and drinks and sat down smiling at her wife. Shego stared into Kimmie’s olive green eyes, and Kim was sure something was majorly bothering the woman. Shego smiled weakly at the red head, realizing that the cheerleader really was beautiful and she was luckier than she had any right to be in ending up together with her Princess. Once the food had been parceled out Kim looked over at her pale green skinned wife and asked worriedly, “Eme, are you okay?”

Shego shook her head, almost too choked up to say no. Tears were threatening again and she groaned in frustration. Was she really going to break down and cry here in a fucking Bueno Nacho? To let Kim in on what was going on she said, “History.”

Kim nodded, feeling a bit better knowing that it wasn’t her that was the problem. That had been bothering her ever since Club Banana. She was worried about her wife, as the green tea skinned woman looked very deeply introspective, which was a rare sight for her. That Shego had said history, then it probably was something from the woman’s past that had risen up to overwhelm her for some sort of reason. Kim took a hand and held it comfortingly, not sure what else to do. Until she heard what was going on she would have little chance of knowing what to do or say. Things were in Shego’s court right now and that was frustrating.

Shego picked at her naco salad some with her spork, mostly stirring things together rather than actually eating much of it. Her thoughts were a jumble of disjointed images and feelings and she really had no idea how to proceed. Too much of her life had been spent either burying this or running away from it. Dealing with it had never really happened but she kind of had to now. “Kimmie…how do you see me?”

“Hmm?” Kim questioned, unsure of what exactly Shego was asking for with that question.

“I mean, am I butch, femme, strong, weak, hot, not, you know…stuff like that.” She kept stirring her food, worried about the answer more than she cared to admit.

Kim’s thoughts raced at that, connecting the various words together, trying to make sense of things, to spin a picture out of the disjointed images. There really wasn’t a lot to go on ands that was frustrating her. Maybe if she just started talking the answer would be there. “Well, I see you as very strong and unwilling to live your life on anything but your own terms but able to compromise. Not exactly butch but not exactly soft either. You are definitely smart, sarcastic, mysterious and well…fun to be around. You are quickly becoming my best friend in the world, maybe even closer to me than Ron, which I think I may be okay with. You are the woman I love and the other mother of my child. That help any?”

Shego nodded. Her Princess didn’t seem all that wrapped up in the image she had tried to project to the world, instead she seemed to be paying attention to who she really was underneath everything. Would Kim be able to take her for all of who she is? Would she see the real Shego as a joke? Was it worth the possible pain to hope for happiness? Backing away from things like that wasn’t really her way and even though it scared her to ask, Shego asked. “Kim, have you ever had to pretend to be someone you’re not?”

Kim thought over that for a moment. This had to be connected to what was bothering her wife. “A few times. Mostly on missions though.”

Shego nodded. She had expected as much. Kimmie really wasn’t much of the lying type but she had to clarify that, just to make her point clearly enough. “Did you ever feel a bit uncomfortable doing that?”

“All the time. It felt like lying.” Kim blushed a little with that admission.

“Well, now imagine doing that for years and years, in order to keep yourself safe, doing it for so long that you have forgotten it was a lie. Think about how that would be like.” Shego had a few bites of her lunch while Kim was digesting that.

“Okay…so you were lost in a part?” asked Kim, really unsure of things. Based off of what Shego was saying that had to be the correct answer but it was just odd. Shego hadn’t been that way, right?

Shego nodded in answer to the question, unwilling to look up at Kimmie because if she looked into those olive green compassionate eyes she would never be able to say this. Because she knew Pumpkin would care this was harder than admitting it to anyone else. “When I was quite a bit younger, in middle school…things…happened to me which made me pull away from my family. The boys don’t know about what happened, or if they do then they need a serious beating. But anyway, my response was to pull away from everything. Then after the meteor, I pulled away even more but I was just tired of being picked on. I…sort of, became, Shego. I became tough, sarcastic, angry, all of that because I had been too weak to protect myself before. It wasn’t who I was but it kept people away from me and kept me safe. And after a while I sort of forgot that Shego wasn’t who I was. That is until Electronique zapped me with that Attitudeinator and brought out things from me that I hadn’t expected. And since then I haven’t been able to get them back in the box.”

Kim looked worried. Was Shego implying that she had been…that someone in her family had…but that was horrible. Was this all there was to it? “What’s the problem then?”

“Kimmie, look, I’m not really the badass that I try and come across as okay. And I’ll understand if that changes things between us.” Shego could only look down at that. She didn’t want to loose Kim. The red head was the best thing in her life and if who she was wasn’t good enough then she didn’t know what she would do.

“Okay. And?” Kim was confused as to why this particular thing was coming from. This wasn’t making a hell of a lot of sense to her and she couldn’t make heads or tails out of it. “Is this related to the crying thing that you got so stressed over?”

Shego nodded. Kim shrugged, not really caring that Shego hadn’t even paid attention to the movement. This whole thing seemed so retarded, like something Drakken or Motor Ed would come up with. “Shego, Eme, you are my wife and I just want you to be happy, that’s it. If you are saying that you aren’t the baddass I’ve fought, okay. I just want you to be happy, so be whoever you want. Besides, you can still fight and everything an not have to be a ‘badass’. You can just be who you are and that will be good enough for me.”

Kim’s dark haired wife looked up, emerald green eyes wet with tears. She looked like she needed to believe what Kim was telling her. “Really?”

“Really. I fell for you based of off who you are, not how you act or such. You have been teaching me how to see past all that surface stuff anyway. I admit I used to be a bit shallow before, but things have changed and I am older. I love you for you and nothing else.”

Shego looked up at Kim with eyes that were almost perfect for a puppy dog pout and the surprise at the sight made the impact of its effects many times stronger that it would have been otherwise. “You really believe that Princess?”

Kim smiled softly, able to meet her wife’s green eyes calmly with a smile. “Yes Eme, I do.”

Shego sat up straighter and wiped her eyes free of tears. She looked like she was trying to settle herself again and that was a good thing. “Okay. So…so you won’t be mad if I change some things?”

Kim chuckled, “No. Not at all. I just want you to feel safe and loved. That’s really enough right now.”

Back at the house, Shego stood in front of the section of the closet that she shared with Kim that now held her clothes. When she had gone shopping she had actually just bought whatever she felt like buying, now she could be able to dress and act like she had wanted to for years but had been too scared to do, for fear of how it would add to the aggravation in her life. It took more will power then she thought it would take to change into the dress, more effort than scaling a mountain face dodging laser beams, more effort than breaking into some high teach facility filled with combat droids, more effort than putting up with that blue idiot’s stupid plans for world domination. The act of stepping into the dress and pulling it up was one of the hardest things Shego had ever done.

She zipped it up and took a look at herself in the mirror, wanting to see if it looked like she had hoped. She smiled at how nice she looked. She really had missed this. When she had been Miss Go, she had worn a nice skirt and blouse set but she did prefer dresses to skirts, as the flow of the material was better than skirts, except for the gypsy style that she did like as well. True, they were terrible for fighting in but she loved how they looked on her, especially with her height. She had owned a few skirts she could fight in, but they were an exception and not a rule. She swallowed deeply and stepped out of the closet and into the bedroom.

Kim had seen Shego in dresses a few times already, so she wasn’t sure what the big deal was but it apparently mattered to Shego. She did like the way they looked on the athletic woman but that was about it. She smiled because her wife was beautiful and that was about it. Her Emerald would look great in a burlap sack. “You look good.”

Shego curtsied, which made Kim giggle a little since it was so cute and unexpected. “Thank you.”

Kim grinned broadly at the sight. Her wife was absolutely amazing and that made her feel special. To know that someone so incredible wanted her so much was such a heady feeling. She really couldn’t believe how lucky she was to be married to the thief. “So you were really worried that I might think less of you because you preferred to wear dresses over pants?”

“I know it sounds stupid but after pretending to be so rough and tough and butch…”

“You were never really all that butch Shego.” countered Kim, after interrupting Shego.

“What?” The look she returned to Kim was one of complete incredulousness, eyebrows high.

“Shego, look at your hair and that wonderful form fitting outfit you wore. That was not exactly terribly butch.”

Shego thought about it and that made her blush. Had she really failed so completely? “Okay, so are you saying that I didn’t really sell the butch thing at all?”

“Not really. If you had wanted to sell it better a buzz cut and baggy clothes might have worked better. I know you’re tough, in fact that toughest person I have ever faced, but where does it say you can’t be tough and feminine?” Kim shrugged. “I love you for who you are.”

Shego smiled faintly at Kimmie and looked down at the floor, turning circles with her foot, feeling a bit shy and embarrassed after that. “Thank you, Princess.”

Kim smiled broadly, happy to see her wife feeling better about life. “No big Eme. Now, what do you want to do?”

“Can…you take me out on a date?” Shego really couldn’t look Kim in the face when she asked that.

Kim nodded. “Okay. I can think of one thing that might be fun. Want to go watch a movie and get some dinner? I was thinking about a romantic comedy and some French food. Is that okay with you?”

Shego nodded. “That sounds good.”

“Okay, let me get changed and we can take off.” Kim was determined to look just as feminine as Shego had and that would require a much more selective selection of dresses. Maybe she should wear her LBD and see what effect it had on Eme.

Shego went downstairs and smiled the whole time, even to the point of barely noticing the tweebs, who were tinkering with something on the floor and looking at her funny. Shego stepped through things without stepping on anything, mostly due to all of her combat training and battle awareness. Anne noticed the new look on Shego’s face and smiled to herself, satisfied. Shego swept out the skirt of her dress from underneath her prior to sitting. She waited for her Princess, lost in her own happy little world.

Kim woke with Shego snuggled against her, with the older girl’s head on her shoulder. It was nice having her there, almost as nice as being the one cuddled up to Shego and made Kim begin the day with a smile. She took in a deep breath, smelling Shego’s hair and the herbal smell of her shampoo. It was an earthy, spicy scent that made her happy and it had been the same scent that she had smelled while the two of them had fought time and time again. Last night’s date had been fun and had ended with the two of them making love for a few hours before crashing, naked against each other. Kim could really get used to making love with her wife. It was divine.

Holding Shego was a wonderful thing and was something she decided then and there to cherish for the rest of her life. This was her wife and this was the life she wanted to live, with her dark haired, pale green skinned, green eyed ex-thief that she loved in a way that brought nothing but surprises to her. Her life felt whole now and she wasn’t sure if it was her wife or her child that made the difference. Kim kissed Shego on top of her head and smiled to herself. This was exactly what she wanted in her life, someone she loved and someone she wanted to raise her child with. This was a life she hadn’t chosen but if she had known about it, she would have jumped at the chance whole heartedly.

“I love you Shego,” whispered Kim into the older woman’s hair.

Shego snuggled in closer, not really aware of the words but could almost feel the emotion behind them. This made Kim smile some more, her heart pounding happily. All she wanted to do was lie there with her wife but her bladder had other ideas on the whole issue. She worked to free herself, while Shego grumbled unhappily about things. It took a while but Kim was able to get herself untangled and stood by the bed looking down at her lover, her wife. Yes, this is what she had wanted all along but just hadn’t known it. She bent down and kissed her Emerald on the cheek. Another twinge in her bladder reasserted its urgency and Kim threw on a robe and hustled to the bathroom. She sighed in pleasure as the pressure released, wondering why something like that could feel so good. It was an odd thought that made her smile to herself.

Shego woke up while her hand was searching for Kimmie and she was whimpering in need. The warm body against her was gone and she couldn’t find her. She frowned and slowly came to, her eyes blinking sleepily looking around the room, trying to spot the flash of red that would be her wife. Nothing. She could feel the crease between her eyes deepen. “Pumpkin?”

The flush of the toilet made her blush and she looked away from the door to the bedroom back at the wall. That was a bit too TMI for her at that moment, it was too early for such things. She sat up and realized that she had to find her nightgown. Going downstairs naked really wasn’t an option, since it wasn’t their own house. That thought made her realize that next week was going to be spent house hunting, as apartments felt too cramped to her and you would have to share security measures with people who had no concept of security and she really wouldn’t compromise on those, especially now. When she spotted her nightgown and bent over to pick it up she heard a voice from behind her say, “Now that is a nice view.”

Shego instantly snapped upright and turned, clutching the satin in front of herself, obviously embarrassed about being caught bare assed. Kim stood in the doorway smirking, her eyes trailing up and down her wife. Shego’s skin darkened with her blush and she hid her face behind her dark hair. Kim chuckled. “I just wanted to come get some clothes to change into first, before I shower and I got a show.”

Shego was at a loss for words, which was unusual for her, so she just stuck her tongue out at the teen hero. Kim laughed happily and went to grab some clothes. “Oh, I don’t know if I told you. Thursday I have my next check-up. Do you want to come with me?”

“Doy! Of course I want to come with you. Did you think I did all of this to sit on the sidelines?” retorted Shego.

“Hey, it’s no big. It’s not like it’s Lamaze or anything important like that.” countered Kim.

Shego had to concede that, it was a check up after all. “So is this when we’re going to get the first picture of our daughter?”

Kim nodded. “I think so. That’s what my mom told me at any rate, but it’s not her specialty, so she’s not completely up with the details. And Friday I get the unmitigated joy of telling the school that I’m pregnant.”

“Do you want me to be there with you for that?” asked Shego, worriedly, well aware of how cruel that kid could be and how worthless school administration could be.

“Doy!” Both girls laughed at that.

Shego smiled and moved to kiss Kim. The kiss was short and full of warmth. “Hey, I was going to start looking for a house for us. Want to give me a list of wants in a house this afternoon?”

Kim’s eyes lit up in surprise. “Our own house? Really?”

Shego nodded. She loved it when Kim lit up like that. “It was your mother’s idea and I think it would be a good idea if we had our own space to go with our own life. It would have our stuff in it and everything.”

“That would be spankin’. Uhm…Eme, I gotta shower so I don’t head off to school smelling of sex.” replied Kim. “I want people to know about us, just not in that way. I’ll come home with a list. Honest.”

Kim rushed off to shower, completely forgetting about the clothes she had come back to the room for. Shego put on her nightgown and robe, heading downstairs. As she headed over to the coffeepot, Kim’s mom looked up and smiled at her, “Good morning dear. Sleep well.”

It took Shego a second to realize that Anne had been talking to her. Dear? What the hell was with that? She had never been talked to like that way. “Uh…yes. Thank you.”

“So what are you going to do today?”

“I was planning on getting my Teaching Portfolio together again to start looking for work and to see what sort of things are available in the housing market.” said Shego, as she sipped from the wonderful coffee that the Possibles had.

She heard the paper lower so she turned to face Mr. Dr. Possible. He looked confused. “You’re moving out?”

“Well, I was kind of thinking that maybe Kimmie and I would need our own place, to kind of get settled in before the baby came rather than to try and move afterwards. Besides, having to look for a place to live afterwards would probably be an emotional nightmare.” Shego didn’t mention Anne’s two cents on the matter as it really wasn’t important at this point. Besides if Mrs. Dr. Possible wanted her husband to know, then she would tell him.

“I would be sad to see you and Kimmie Cub go.” admitted James.

“Well, I was kind of thinking about staying in the area if at all possible. I have a lot of money set aside, that isn’t related to my former occupation, so I wanted to get us something nice that we can grow into. I really want to make sure we get moved in and everything as quickly as possible once we fin a place, so that will take plenty of money.”

Anne smiled at that. Her daughter-in-law was certainly trying to do right by her Bubble Butt and that made her happy. “It sounds great, and there are a few places in the area that are for sale as well as a few lots if you wanted to build something.”

Build. Shego liked the sound of that. That would let the house be exactly what she and Kim wanted. It would certainly bear looking into and money often meant faster building. Drakken had managed to get some of the lairs built in days, and they were huge and complex. That might just allow her to make something special for the two of them and have it built in under a week. “Thanks Mrs. P.”

“You know Shego you can call me mom?” Anne just couldn’t resist the poking.

Shego spluttered her coffee all over James.

A/N:

I was going to wait on this, but it is the holiday season so have a happy Yule present. I am working on Chapter 19 right now, so we still have a good ride ahead of us, and a pregnancy if long at this rate of writing. The kid will be born before the end of this, I promise. And remember, reviews are like applause, the more you enjoy things the more you should do.

Happy Yule and I may even give you all an extra Christmas chapter as well.