Coming Out
23 August 2004
19436
Death Wish
By E. E. Nalley
Alexander awoke slowly in fits and starts, unsure of how long he had slept. As his senses slowly returned to him one at the time, he shook his massive head, in a futile attempt to get his mind working again. His sight was still extremely blurry, failing to show him any of the details of where he had slept, and the sand encrusting his eyes irritated him.
His sense of pain was next to make itself known as it seemed every joint in his sizable body had some form of kink or pain. Over the cacophony of his joints, his stomach rolled in protest at it’s evidently long span of being ignored.
The taste in his mouth was horrible.
He sniffed the air while doing his best to get his bearings. Knowing it was pointless to try to stand yet, Alexander shook his head once more while carefully wiping his eyes free of the sand. At last his vision cleared showing him the ragged flaps of skin that hung about his body in strips.
“I hate molting,” he told himself softly, his deep bass voice rumbling aloft in the cave he had slept in with the quality of stone grating over stone. The something he’d sniffed in the air caught his attention and he swiveled his head back in the direction of the cave’s mouth and inhaled deeply once more, trying to track it down.
Humans.
The dragon slowly got to his feet as quietly as he could and listened by the boulder he had placed over the mouth of the chamber he’d chosen to sleep in. Yes, the voices he heard were speaking English! Here? With the endless sea between him and England? But how odd the voices sounded and it was apparent it was not the English he remembered. “While Mammoth Cave has had a number of uses since its discovery, the use that seems to shock everyone is as a Tuberculosis Hospital,” a female voice was saying.
Alexander carefully got his eye at the crack that was large enough for air to reach him, but not big enough for even a human child to squeeze through. What he saw amazed him. A crowd of about thirty humans stood around the female who was speaking. Their manner of dress was wildly different than what he remembered from his days in England. The colors and even the fabrics by which they were made were completely unfamiliar.
The chamber beyond was lit by small boxes that gave off remarkable amounts of light, but neither heat nor smoke, nor did they radiate the magic that was hovering in the back of the dragons mind, awaiting his bidding. “What’s Tuberculosis?” asked a human child of the woman whose back was to Alexander.
“A horrible disease that was very easily spread just by coughing. Many people died from it, so the Cave was pressed into service as a place to take care of them. Any other questions? Then, let’s move on and I’ll show you remains of the hospital. Right this way.”
The group filed after the woman dutifully leaving Alexander alone with his rapidly turning mind. It was obvious most of the Humans there had at least some English blood to them. And they moved without fear of the Red Skinned humans who had fled in terror of Alexander’s exhausted arrival. It had taken him the better part of two years to find this cave and he wasn’t about to lose it.
Before his temper got the best of him, the dragon gave himself a moment of pause. The English Knights had been why he had left England in the first place. It would probably not be wise to rush out and force the unwitting trespassers from his home. That would certainly bring a knight. What he needed was information about what had happened while he’d slept. And for how long?
Once he was sure he wouldn’t be seen, Alexander carefully moved the boulder and squeezed through the opening. He replaced it, careful to make it look as though it hadn’t been disturbed. He worried for a moment about his hoard, but it was protected better than his sleeping room had been. He tried to recall how the humans had been dressed and concentrated, feeling his body shift and shrink in upon itself. His stomach rolled in protest had casting so complicated a spell on an empty stomach. Satisfied he pass visually at least for one of the humans he’d seen, he made his way to the cave’s mouth.
Toby Mitchell stared at the Colt Government Model on his coffee table for what seemed like the fifth time that evening. The weapon was cleaned, oiled, and it’s magazine full of shiny new Hydroshok man stopper bullets that would end his suffering in less than a moment. A brief flash of pain and it would all be over.
Pain was something he was used to. The constant teasing about being a sissy growing up, his ‘girly’ name, and the myriad other cruelties children inflict on each other. A life time of pain had spurred him to prove his manhood at every opportunity. A career in the Army had taught him to be a killer which stopped the torment to his face. Yet no matter how big and virile he forced his body to become, he couldn’t stop the voice in the back of his mind that everything was wrong.
Once the Army was done with him he’d found himself single, thirty and without a single job skill in an extremely tight job market. Professional Killer just didn’t have the fetch it used to on a resume. The VA doctor had decided he needed psychological counseling on his exit from the Army. The sessions had been a grueling experience for both as layer upon layer of defenses and lies had been stripped away.
Gender Disphoria. What a simple name for such a horrible thing.
While not especially tall at five nine, Toby had thrown himself passionately into body building, trying to make a mask for himself to hide behind. Now, face to face with the voice from his mind, there was no undoing what he had done to himself. The only treatment open to him was a surgery that, even if completely successful, would make him even more of a freak. There was no way he would ever pass for a woman and it was entirely his own fault.
So he sat and stared at the pistol on the coffee table in his small apartment as the TV droned on contemplating the end of all the pain. How ironic, a killer who couldn’t kill. It was all so wrong, and, deep down, Toby knew it was the cowards way out.
“While this may sound like something from the X Files,” the announcer was saying, drawing his eyes from the pistol to the Television. “You are about to see a disturbing tape we’ve received and independently verified. This is not computer generated or some other kind of special effect. We urge you to move small children from the room.”
Toby watched the screen, rooted to the spot in abject amazement. He saw a dragon, a real, living dragon descend on a herd of cattle and scatter it, picking a sickly looking one. It’s end was quick and messy. The dragon glanced about fearfully from it’s meal, as if a thief terrified of being caught. Then it took a small sack from a rope around it’s neck and left it on the carcass before flying off.
There was a break in the video and suddenly the camera was pointed down on what little was left of the cow. The bag was the size of a kitchen garbage bag, made of burlap. It was full of gold coins.
“While the Governor’s office and the Federal Government both have declined to comment on this, Channel Nine feels it is our civic duty to urge all citizens to exercise extreme caution. The creature has been seen as far as Bardstown and Liberty. Until some information is forth coming on the nature of this creature and where it may be hiding, please use extreme caution.”
Intrigued, Toby got out his map book. It didn’t take a genius to figure out Mammoth Cave was exactly between both towns. This was it, then. His final shot to solve his own problems and maybe do some good. Toby got the pistol and indexed a round. The sound of metal on springs was loud in the apartment.
Toby made sure he was alone before he opened the case he had carefully smuggled into the National Park. It hadn’t been easy sneaking a weapon as big as the Barrett Light Fifty inside, even disassembled. The fifty caliber rifle was six feet long assembled. Judging by the quick research he’d done, it was the only thing he’d could be sure would finish the creature.
Hopefully just before the creature finished him.
It was awkward assembling the rifle using only his night vision goggles to see, but the soldier in him knew he couldn’t risk any kind of light. There was no telling what the creatures abilities were, but no sense advertising his own presence. The more daunting task would be finding it. According to the brochure, there were 360 miles of cave that the park service knew about.
They still hadn’t found the back of this cave.
With a final click the rifle was assembled and a round indexed into the chamber. It was time to hunt. Laying the rifle down, Toby closed the case and re-affixed it to his ruck sack. As he prepared to don it again, he became aware of a sound. Pausing to try to locate it, fearful of discovery, he strained.
Then he realized he heard something very large breathing.
“Stand fast,” cautioned a deep grating voice as Toby tensed to snatch up the rifle. Looking around, he saw the creature staring at him, perhaps forty feet above him on a ledge. It was huge, about the size of an elephant if he wasn’t mistaken, although coiled on itself it was hard to judge. “Truly I was deeply vexed by when some caviler would be drawn here. Might I have the pleasure of thy name, Sir Knight?”
“Staff Sergeant Toby Mitchell, United States Army,” replied Toby while commending himself to God. This was the bitter end. He couldn’t even make sure the dragon didn’t hurt anyone. The image in his night vision blurred from his eyes filling with tears.
“Sir Toby, it is my great pleasure to make thine acquaintance. I pray thee, sir, permit me to introduce myself, I am Alexander the Welsh Dragon. May I presume that interesting device upon thine face allows thee to see in this blackness?”
“Yes,” replied the soldier bitterly. “And don’t call me sir,” he added from habit.
The dragon seemed surprised. “Art thou not a knight come to slay me?”
“I am here to kill you, yes, but I’m not a knight. There aren’t any such things anymore.”
“Truly? Most interesting. What offense have I done that thou should seekst my demise?”
Toby fought his anger. “Why are you talking that way?” he growled. “You sound like something out of a bad movie.”
“I knowst not what this movie thou speakst of might be, but when I came here to sleep, at the risk of being boastful, my English was considered of the highest caliber. But, I understand that much has changed in my slumber. I pray thee, what year is it? When I laid me down to sleep, as men reckoned time the year was Anno DominiNine Hundred and Ninety Seven.” Toby couldn’t resist a nervous laugh at his predicament.
“The current date is February 18, 2004.”
The dragon was incredulous. “Two Thousand and Four. That I should live to see this! But, Sergeant Toby, what wrong have I done thee to bring thee here on such a fell errand? Might I not implore thee at some amends?”
“Aren’t you, well, dangerous?” asked Mitchell softly.
Alexander was amused and his low chuckle sent chills down the soldier’s spine. “Aye, but that I might be left at peace, those about me have no fear of their skin. What I have eaten, I have paid for. Have I feasted on thine herd? Didst thou not find the payment I have left thee?”
“I don’t own any cattle. And, from what I’ve heard, all the ranchers whose herds you did eat from found what you left.”
Just a hint of anger entered the dragon’s tone. “Then why dost thou seek me out for battle? If I have given thee no offense?”
Toby sighed. At this point, there was no use lying any more. “I was hoping you would kill me right as I killed you.” The dragon’s jaw fell open.
“Why?” he sputtered.
“I have a disease that there is no cure for. I can’t bring myself to kill myself, and I thought you would be a danger to everyone around here.” Toby shrugged. “I’m a soldier with no Army. I’ve been discharged, I can’t find work. I guess I hoped to do so some good and end my own suffering. I’m…I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were, well, the way you are.”
“Thou hast a noble spirit, Toby. What if I strike a bargain with thee? It is possible my magic can cure thee of thy disorder, in exchange, thou couldst find employment with me as my teacher to this new world I have awoken in. Thou wouldst surely find me a generous patron.”
“Even if you have magic,” said Toby, “You can’t cure my disease. It’s all in my head.”
“If I take thy meaning aright to be that thou art afflicted with lunacy, I must disagree. I have dealt with more than my fair portion of lunatics, while I make no claim of scholarly knowledge, I find no fault with thy mind.”
Toby became a bit cross. “Ok, Alex, how’s this for you? I am a guy! Hell, I’m what we call these days a man’s man. I’ve been a soldier and a killer my whole life! It’s all I know! But, wait! Come to find out, inside my brain thinks it wants to be a woman! How’s that for nuts for you?”
The dragon puzzled out the slang for a moment, then smiled what he doubtlessly meant to be a kindly smile. “If I take thy meaning aright, thou sayst that in thy mind, thou desires to be a maid?” Toby sighed and tossed his hands in frustration. “Odd,” commented the dragon. “And this is the wish of thy heart of hearts?”
Toby sank to his knees, ashamed of the voice of mind screaming the affirmative warring with the stigma of the bounds of society he had had impressed on him his entire life. As he sobbed quietly, he could only whisper, “Yes.”
“Done and done!” said the dragon. His voice whispered a song to which the very stone of the cave sang in harmony to. Toby felt his skin tingle as the strangest sensation of his life coursed through him. It wasn’t pain, exactly, just very disconcerting to feel his body shaping and molding itself to a new pattern. A moment the length of a lifetime passed, then it was over.
Everything felt different. The course wool of her clothing irritated her skin, nothing seemed to fit properly any more. The night vision goggles came loose and slipped down her head, causing her to quickly grab at them before they could fall. They were extremely expensive and, more importantly, her only ability to be able to see.
“There,” came the dragons voice once more. “Better? Ah, thou wouldst surely desire to see my handiwork. I shall make a light and mirror for thee.” Suddenly the cave was illuminated to a comfortable level. Fortunately, Toby had quickly closed her eyes against the over stimulation of the night vision. Before her was a mirror that hovered a few feet from the floor of the cave.
As she approached the mirror, Toby felt her apprehension grow. This was an entirely new world of experience and the possibilities staggered her. Before she could bring herself to look into the mirror, she turned her gaze past it to take in her benefactor.
Alexander was terrifying in his presence; scarlet leathery hide covered a body bulging with sinew somewhere between the size of an enormous horse or a small elephant. His long neck and tail curled lazily about him, making an accurate judgment impossible. His triangle shaped head was dominated by a pair of bifocal, piercing emerald eyes that shown in the pale light of the spell he had conjured. His muzzle was dominated by rows of deadly looking teeth that winked in and out of sight as he breathed. “If this shape displeases thee, I can alter it,” he told her.
Toby swallowed and forced herself to look into the mirror. The reflection of her minds eye stared back. Her height had not notably changed, while her weight was obviously much lower. By a rough guess, she thought herself about one thirty; a hundred pounds lighter! A delicate, oval face was dominated by her brown eyes and framed by dark chestnut hair that fell to her shoulders. While not a beauty contestant, her figure was nicely curved from round, slightly low slung breasts of about a ‘C’ cup. What shocked her more than anything was that if she had to guess, she would have thought the woman she saw was younger than herself by at least five years. Perhaps more. The casual man’s shirt and dungaree pants she had put on seemed wrong now. Even more so was the .45 in a tactical holster at her hip.
She looked back up at the dragon she had meant to be the instrument of her own suicide and was filled with shame.
“I…I don’t know what to say,” she stammered. “How can I ever repay you? Or offer you any kind of apology for what I was going to do?”
The dragon stood lazily and stretched. “That I have a guide to this strange world is thanks enough. Fear not for any expenses of thine, either. The sage knowledge thou shalt provide is worth much to me.” He spread his wings and floated down to the waiting human. Up close, Toby was even more in awe of the strange fairy tale personified.
“First,” said Alexander kindly. “I pray thee, tell me of my brothers and sisters. What other dragons have followed me hence to this new world?” Toby couldn’t meet the dragon’s expectant gaze and lowered her eyes.
“None,” she said softly. “Until you made yourself known, it was held that dragons are creatures of myth, not fact. Your race must have been completely killed off. I’m sorry.”
Alexander was contemplative. “If I have slept to this time, mayhaps others of my blood shall as well. I must not dwell on unhappy tidings when a new world awaits! How much gold dost thou surmise our expenses shall be?”
“Perhaps I should fill you in a bit more on how the world has changed before you make any kind of decision, but I think we should be going before we’re discovered. Do you have some secret way out of the cave?”
“Indeed, fair maid,” said the dragon as he began to glow softly and once more took on the form of a human. He became a ruggedly handsome man stepping from his twentieth to thirtieth decade, neat if long red hair framed an angular, expressive face, from which his powerful emerald eyes shown. He wore a red t shirt and jeans, but even so disguised there was a dangerous power about him. “Have you one of these remarkable horseless carriages near by?” he asked her. Toby nodded. “Think hard of it,” the dragon instructed her before gently touching her forehead. Once more the young woman felt a tingle, and suddenly she found herself in her tired, but well loved Ranger, the dragon withdrawing his hand as she looked about.
“I place myself in thine hands, good Toby. Lead on.”
