Imp 9: An Imp-eriled Heart (Part 1) by Morpheus

Whateley Academy, Saturday morning, Dec 22nd 2007

Bwahaha, those first sentences, Imp, you need your ego checked just a little. Sylver Stryker, cute codename. Ouch, burnout wiped out most of her powers, poor girl. A carved wooden wolf statue for Christmas, I'm sure her dad will love it.

“Ah yes,” I mused to myself, my tail swishing back and forth. “It’s good to be the Impress.”

Beware, Imp, ego goes before a fall.

Rochester NY, Saturday early afternoon, Dec 22nd 2007

Chris Matthews is home and his neighbor, Mr. Sheffield, had his house struck by lightning for a second time. And he has been struck by it once, is he a lightning magnet or what?

Between getting hit with lightning several times, he’d also won the lottery twice and once he’d even had a piece of airplane fall out of the sky and land on top of his car.

A mangler like Jinx and doesn't even know it, ouch, that man needs to be tested. Tales of Whateley, boy, if the students were allowed to make fictionalized accounts of their times at Whateley without risk of leaking Whateley's location or secret they would be best sellers for sure.

Manhattan NY, Sunday afternoon, Dec 23rd 2007

Imp out Christmas shopping in her Christine Kade disguise, thoughts on what gifts to get Ryan and Melissa. So glad to see her spirits up again. Susan Matthews, uh oh, a gift to her from you might tip off Chris as to his relationship to you, Imp.

Oh, great. An idiot doing a robbery in the afternoon this close to Christmas. Robbing a jewelry store like that, common sense isn't one of his abilities.

He looked like a giant, 6-foot-tall, anthropomorphic rooster with reddish brown feathers. The black domino mask he wore was pretty silly since it didn’t do a single thing to hide his identity, but the glowing red eyes all over his body were really creepy looking.

"He's a chicken, a giant chicken, I tell you!" Sorry, that Chicken Boo bit wouldn't shut up in my head until I got it typed up. Cluster Fuck, this guy is in the running for the worst codename ever.

The Imp is here. Chicken Boo, I knew she couldn't resist that nickname.

“I just HAVE to know,” I asked with a broad grin. “Why DID you cross the road?”

“What the cluck?” the rooster exclaimed, giving me an angry glare. “Do you think you can stop me? Nobody cock blocks Fuster Cluck.”

“Look here, Foghorn,” I started. “I don’t care about your little snatch and grab. I just wanted to…”

This guy has a temper issue. Energy beams from the various eyes across his body, I hope he isn't like a beholder with different eyebeams for different eyes.

CF, run, when Imp gets an idea and a smile like that you had better retreat. A call to Ryan to get him to come fight this guy, oh brother, a chicken-themed villain against a falcon-themed hero with the Chickenhawk nickname. Jungle Book song and CF is getting angrier. Bwahaha, I can't believe she said he must be part potato and crossed the road to flee the Colonel. Finally, the idiot gets that Imp is not a hero and is just mocking him.

“Not if I can help it,” I joked. “Being serious is nasty stuff…” I made a show of shuddering in disgust. “Mocking and heckling is more my thing… In fact, if you give me a good balcony box, I’d be happy just sitting up there and heckling people for the entire show.”

Please say she knows about the ghosts Stantler and Waldorf at the local theater near Whateley. Imp introduces herself and CF just keeps up with the chicken puns. Man, he is easy to taunt and get to attack.

“Ah say. Ah say boy,” I said in my best Foghorn Leghorn voice. “You’re thicker than a volume of the government tax code.”

“No one mocks Fuster Cluck,” He snarled as he charged at me again. “NO ONE.”

This guy don't know Imp very well.

Ryan is right, the codename is right out of the 'Imp's bad names to give idiots' book. A bowl of popcorn, I'm surprised she didn't bring snacks for her shopping excursion. Those gravity balls of Ryan's can be brutal, FC might need to go to the hospital after this is over.

“Ouch,” I said with a sympathetic wince. “Come on, Foghorn. Don’t give up that easily.”

“Don’t tell me that you called me here just to…,” Chickenhawk said as he landed beside me. He looked at me and let out a long sigh. “Of course you did. There is no way that you’d be able to resist seeing Chickenhawk go up against a giant chicken.”

Please, almost any kid who grew up on Looney Tunes would love to see that fight.

Crud, I just knew CF could do that, energy beams from all of his eyes at once.

I wasn’t sure if I’d actually been hit, but in an instant, everything changed. The sky was pink. The building beside me was made of melting ice cream. The air itself smelled green. It was like I’d just taken a strong dose of devisor LSD and was on a serious acid trip.

Okay, now I want to know more about the nature of CF's eyebeams. Like a hit from one of Absinthe's fairies being popped, now that is a trip.

“Darn, he got away,” I said with a sigh and perhaps even a little bit of a pout. “And I never even got to use the joke about Fozziwig’s Rubber Chicken Factory.”

“You can do that next time we run into him,” Ryan assured me before shifting into his best Chickenhawk impression and saying, “We’ll get that chicken the next time.”

I burst out laughing at that. This was the best day ever.

They are just so adorable together.

Rochester NY, Monday evening, Dec 24th 2007

Uncle Dave told Ron to leave Chris alone, I can't believe it. Ron! Adopted means he is a part of the family and a real cousin, how dare you say that. Okay, Aunt Rose needs to learn to see when her son is being a brat and not try to blame it on Chris. Chris, you shouldn't have to keep it all in just to 'not ruin the party for everyone else', that isn't healthy. If this had been happening all this time I would tell my relatives they either teach their kids to treat their cousin right or don't come over at all.

With what we've seen of the in-laws I'm starting to think the only good one in that family is Chris' father. Have a word with Dave about Ron, that won't work if it hasn't in the past. Chris, your birth mother gave you up to protect you from so-called 'heroes' who take things too far when dealing with those who don't follow the law.

“No,” Chris’ mom told him, pulling back and staring at him with a strange expression. “I know…because she told me.”

“What?” Chris asked in confusion.

His mom gave him a nervous smile. “I… I met with your birth mother a couple weeks ago…”

Seesh, atomic bomb testing hit with less impact than this.

“It’s not a coincidence,” his mom assured him with a chuckle. “It turns out, she knew that I was looking to adopt…so she arranged for me to be the one to get you. Your birth mother picked me to be your mom.”

“What?” Chris gasped, staring at his mom in stunned disbelief. His heart was racing in his chest. “Who… Who is she? What’s her name? Can I meet her?”

This is going to make me cry, isn't it? Sounding like Melissa isn't a bad thing sometimes. Afraid she will reject him, Chris says that in response, I know you are hurting Chris, but you don't know the full story yet. God, seeing Chris crying like this, please let Imp do the right thing for him.

“What?” his dad asked with a bit of a smirk. “You don’t believe someone can have amazing powers?” Chris paused at that and his dad continues, “I wouldn’t be surprised if Santa is some kind of avatar who hosts the spirit of Christmas or something.”

In the WAU I wouldn't be surprised if that was true and it is a mantle passed on like the Champion's.

“That…,” Chris started slowly, considering what his dad had just told him and all of the strange and unbelievable things that he’d seen at Whateley. After a few seconds, he grudgingly admitted, “I’ve heard of weirder things happening.”

Shoot, Whateley Academy has reborn Greek Gods, the White Buffalo Woman, and a lot stranger than that.

Manhattan NY, Tuesday morning, Dec 25th 2007

A lump of coal, who gave Imp that gift and said it was from Santa? Ryan's sister Brandy is there for Christmas, oh boy, keep the peace with her for just one day, Imp. A present picked by Melissa to give to Imp, figures.

“It’s just what I always wanted,” I gushed, enjoying the look of surprise on Melissa’s face since she obviously hadn’t expected this reaction. “After all those years and years working my way up Santa’s naughty list, I knew that one day, I’d finally earn this… And it was all worth it.”

Well, that took the wind out of Melissa's sail. An acceptance speech, no! At least it got everyone laughing.

First Christmas gift in over a decade, no wonder she likes it. Imp got Melissa socks, hehe.

“Socks should NEVER be Christmas presents,” Melissa insisted. “They’re a total waste of Christmas present space.”

“And lumps of coal should be given?” Brandy asked with a smirk of her own.

“That’s different,” Melissa responded with a pout.

“It always is,” Brandy said before handing Melissa another present.

Melissa, if you can give a gag gift so can Imp.

“Devisor goggles,” I told her, only to get a blank look in return. “Night vision,” I explained. “Along with some other things, like letting you see through some illusions and invisibility type tricks.”

“Really?” Melissa gasped, giving me a suspicious look.

“Really,” I assured her. “And these will even double as a mask when you’re in the arena.”

Now that is a great gift, Geist has been a pain for too long.

Grey hat type who will sell to both sides, everyone has to make a living. New zappy gloves with a better battery, Brandy does make such wonderful toys. A painting made by Imp for Ryan, now that is priceless. Now that is a gift truly from the heart and unique to their relationship. Whoa, go any further and you two will need a room. A gold metal card with "Get OUT OF JAIL FREE" printed on it, Ryan knows Imp so well.

There was a gorgeous pendant with a glossy black metal that matched my horns and scales, with a bright red ruby right in the middle. The whole thing hung from a fine chain that was made from the same black metal.

“My colors,” I announced as I carefully put on the necklace. Ryan helped with that clasp in the back. “How do I look?”

Ryan, you are a charmer for sure. Present given out and Melissa suggests putting on a Christmas movie, Muppets Christmas Carol, go with that one, it is a classic now. Krampus, I should have known there was a supervillain who would go by that name. A drink to apologize to CF about all the taunting involving his GSD, I hope he will accept it. The Tiny Tim line, Imp, never change.

Rochester NY, Thursday afternoon, Dec 27th 2007

Ouch, sitting that long with no cushion, that is torture. Quick errand in the store stretched into an hour, have either of you gone in to check if she is okay?

But after a couple seconds, he chuckled. “Who am I kidding. Knowing your mother, we could be here for another hour.”

Never mind then, she has a known habit of doing this when shopping.

A nice watch was sent to Chris in the mail, signed from Santa, it has to be from Imp.

The same box had included a present for his mom, a DVD collection of some old TV show called ‘Laugh In’, which had immediately made his mom burst into laughter.

Yup, that is Imp behind the gifts. Susan was finally at one of the registers, time to get up from the hard bench. Only come in for one thing and come out with a full shopping bag, that is how these stores get you. Nooo! Who the hell drives like that, running through an intersection without stopping. Please, oh please don't let any of them die.

Manhattan NY, Thursday evening, Dec 27th 2007

Imp and Ryan settle down to watch a heist movie, Winter term class on heists, I should have known Imp would have a class on that subject.

“I’m signed up for it,” Melissa offered from where she sat on the floor with her own bowl of popcorn. “I can’t wait to do a heist.”

Melissa, don't make your father have to catch and turn you over to the police.

“It’s mostly theory…the kind of things that security can use to prevent a heist and that law enforcement can use to investigate one afterwards.” I gave him a wry smile. “After all, Whateley teaches both sides, so I need to keep the class suitable for a variety of students, not just the ones wanting a criminal career.”

That makes sense, I could see some of the Spy Kids taking the class for that information and maybe become security consultants in the future once they have matured.

What I didn’t tell Ryan was that we were going to use the arena so the students would be able to plan and execute a heist of their own. I was really looking forward to setting that up, and as I’d said, a good heist flick was inspiring me with new ideas for how to do that.

I hope this is what Melissa meant by doing a heist. A call from Mrs. Carson about Chris.

Then as she explained what was going on, I gasped, “No,” and dropped the phone.

Please say no one died in the car accident, please. And no one is maimed or in a coma either.

Shhh.. It's the Imp in her natural habitat. She's a softie, even if she doesn't think so.

Flying from Berlin to Rochester? I'd hazard a guess it'd be quicker to drive, at least if it were a one-way trip. Perhaps once Aegis has his driver's license. Aegis, you've been around Jinx too much, but you're probably right about Mr. Sheffield being a mangler. And you're (back) in his sphere of influence.

But Mrs Imp, the Carmen Sandiego look is all the rage! I'm surprised you didn't go shopping at Trixie's to get something for Suzie Q.
Fluster Cluck isn't evil. He's just drawn that way. And you wouldn't be the imp If you didn't ask him that question. Fortunately, you have a knack dealing with chickens (even if you'll have to go into hiding before your boyfriend shows up). Hopefully Fluster Cluck can get the help he needs.
The fact that getting hit by a load of psychic whatever is just a normal day says something about how different the Whateley normal is from everyone else's normal. At least Chickenhawk got a chuckle from the encounter (and possibly a new pseudo-nemisis, now that the Imp is retired)

Aegis - that party sounds just as bad as what your mentor grew up with. Hopefully Dave and Rose aren't H1 - though I could see things going that way.
And Aegis spills his biggest regret to someone who now knows the reason he was given up for adoption. If there weren't a warper in the neighborhood, she'd probably be able to keep it quiet. I wonder if the Imp also got a gift for Aegis if she got something for Suzie Q. I get the feeling that secret won't stay one much longer.
And the needle is threaded. Talk of leaving milk and cookies for Santa. Why could I easily see someone else dressed in red sneaking in the front door to leave gifts? While she could go down the chimney if they have one, it'd be a sooty place.

Coal as a gift for the Imp. I could see Brandy having come up with that idea, though she's a bit stuffy for that. It makes sense that it was Melissa though. And the Imp came prepared with her own gag gift in return.
Night vision goggles and better zappy gloves. Melissa is going to be a menace.
And the Imp gave Ryan the best sort of gift. Hopefully Brandy is willing to overlook any dots she might draw between the art and the artist.
Ryan definitely knows the Imp's tastes.
And they have gelled quite nicely as a caring (if slightly unconventional) family

Grocery store run? I wonder what caused things to take so long.
A watch for Aegis from the Imp. I could easily see it having something extra in it that he'll learn about at an (in)appropriate time.
And a car crash - chance, H1 or Triangle? Default assumption is chance, but the length of the shopping trip makes me wonder if there was psychic persuasion to delay the car. If so, that would point to triangle, as H1 likely wouldn't consider such tactics.

That heist flick had better not be Die Hard (Die Hard is not a Christmas movie!).
Teaser for the imp teaching the art of the heist. I'm really hoping we get to see Mischief and the rest of the students planing and foiling their heists. Imagine some capes pulling a heist, and getting stopped by masterminds.
Carson calling about Aegis. Very not a good sign. If it was the local triangle chapter, they're going to be facing the wrath of Imp, back up by the rest of the accords.