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New? Arriving? (09 Aug 2021)

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TT0: Seeing is Believing

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21 Sep 2021 04:52 - 22 Sep 2021 00:32 #541 by Dreamer
A new story from Phoenix Spiritus. So please read, enjoy, and comment.

SPOILER ALERT
Below is a stream of conscious commentary I type up as I read the story. There will be details from the story included in it. If you have not read the story yet and don't wish to have details of it spoiled, read no further.

Seeing is Believing Part 1 comments
Warning: Spoiler!

Thank You for the story comments appreciated and help me know they are being read and liked. :-) Note: My story comments can't nor are trying to replace reading the stories, simply my way of enjoying them and letting the authors know I enjoy them.
Last edit: 22 Sep 2021 00:32 by Dreamer.
The following user(s) said Thank You: null0trooper, Dan Formerly Domoviye, Phoenix Spiritus

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21 Sep 2021 16:55 #546 by null0trooper

Dreamer wrote: A posh place like this and just getting a salad and the fish, what a waste. Freshly squeezed fruit juice, now this is a very posh place. People frowning at them, but who knows for what reason. Unscared and normal, tall order right now. Aww, interstate instead of Route 66.


Three possible reasons: 1. Fish on Fridays is still a thing for some Catholics. 2. Also, if the restaurant is that good, the fish isn't going from ice to prep to grill/broiler until the order is placed. Even tile fish isn't fried until its ordered, so less chance of food poisoning. And 3, if Shlomo kept kosher, many places can manage broiled fish and a vegetable salad with minimal extra prep.

Dreamer wrote: Already that cold, where did this blizzard come from?


You'd think it was a miracle, or something.

Dreamer wrote: That close to the Grove without going into it, he could give Lanie lessons on being a rules lawyer.


That would be something clairvoyance should be good for, like knowing how far to push a boundary or which technicalities matter more than just technically.

"Stepping Out": Story link .

Story Discussion
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21 Sep 2021 20:50 #548 by joreymay
Replied by joreymay on topic TTO: Seeing is Believing
Was this story published before - possibly as a Non-Canon version?
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21 Sep 2021 22:55 #550 by null0trooper

Was this story published before - possibly as a Non-Canon version?

Yes. Phoenix Spiritus was one of the first WhatIF authors, starting with "Twisted Triplets". I'm not sure what needed to be changed in the 2016-7 releases to bring the story into canon, but that's why it should look familiar.

"Stepping Out": Story link .

Story Discussion
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23 Sep 2021 19:52 - 23 Sep 2021 19:54 #556 by Phoenix Spiritus
Hi Dreamer thanks for your commentary, I always appreciate reading them, just a correction the weapon malfunctioned it was not deliberately fired at the airplane, the death of Shelly’s parents really was just a dreadful accident.

The reason they had the fish is because it was the recommended special of the day, that’s all. They wanted something that would be relatively quickly served.

Yes this story and it’s sequel were published before, I put a note in the comments under the story explaining what happened, this story and it’s sequel we’re written before I became canon and at that time I had planed sequels to them that were not compatible with Canon, as such I published these stories as WhatIF stories. When publishing them as such the comment was made that both stories as written taken alone are actually canon compatible, since I never published the non-canon sequels to the stories i suggested that when they were transferred to this new site we publish them as canon stories here, so I tidied them up and we are now here.
Last edit: 23 Sep 2021 19:54 by Phoenix Spiritus.
The following user(s) said Thank You: Commander Knight, Dreamer, joreymay, Mister D

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28 Sep 2021 06:08 #563 by Dreamer
Replied by Dreamer on topic TT0: Seeing is Believing
SPOILER ALERT
Below is a stream of conscious commentary I type up as I read the story. There will be details from the story included in it. If you have not read the story yet and don't wish to have details of it spoiled, read no further.

TTO: Seeing is Believing Part 2 comments
Warning: Spoiler!

Thank You for the story comments appreciated and help me know they are being read and liked. :-) Note: My story comments can't nor are trying to replace reading the stories, simply my way of enjoying them and letting the authors know I enjoy them.
The following user(s) said Thank You: null0trooper, Phoenix Spiritus

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29 Sep 2021 06:48 - 29 Sep 2021 06:55 #568 by ghoti
Replied by ghoti on topic TT0: Seeing is Believing
I'm looking at the DPA from the perspective of someone in corrections, so I think Dreamer's impression of the agents might be a little off. If you start a romantic relationship with a co-worker, usually you get assigned to different departments. You can still see each other and even be married if that's what it becomes, but you can't generally work together in the same department. Since there never has been an actual DPA, I can't of course say for sure, but that's the way it is in many organizations it seems to be structured around.

That, and maybe it's wishful thinking, because I like happy endings if they can be arranged semi-realistically. So my head canon has the two agents staying together in romance but not necessarily assignment and / or location, until she has to step up to do the right thing and then leave, and he can't join her because he's got to keep fighting the good fight from the inside any way he can, until that last scene where he can't anymore and we have the reveal.

One thing several of these authors do quite well is to have nuanced antagonists, especially in that organizations aren't monoliths. It's an old trope, but a good one still. I read this one thing that stated the idea of good v. evil in storylines actually is comparatively recent; a lot of epics really don't touch on that because they realize the implicit humanity of certain peoples. For example, Achilles, Hector, etc. in "good v. evil" sense neither Troy nor Greece was either. Done well, it's a cause for appeal of certain characters; would Phase be nearly as interesting without the conflict caused from the Goodkind background and always insisting they're trying to do the right thing even after knowing some of the things they do, including supporting agencies they should know are killing / disappearing people and even the fact they torture and then kick him out? Done badly, it can be pretty unsatisfying to me and I'll refrain from providing examples; most can come up with some in various media.

Anyway, about the power classification. The ability to change utterly or produce biological materials is REALLY strong. Just for starters, if you could change DNA, you could also change RNA, proteins, lipids, etc. You'd have potential unlimited healing, eternal youth for everyone you wanted, etc. After that, mechanism restriction doesn't make sense to me; I mean, it's fine to state something like that but I don't see why it makes much difference. Producing / transmuting 100 kilos of anything you like in the hands of someone who truly understands chemistry and / or physics, especially with such an intuitive understanding of , you'd have weakness as a stand-up fighter because you're probably no tougher than a lot of people, but the practical applications of the power would be nearly limitless. In table-top roleplaying terms, the power expressed in the story is like a DMPC that's either going to help in specific ways, neutral / don't mess with, or could be the worst BBEG around. Just taking a stab at ranking, I'd go Esper (danger sense, intuitive biological / material sense), Warper (teleport / affect self and others), Manifester (arguably folded into warping if creation is actually transmutation), and then with that you could throw in some "faux" rankings based on the consequences of the foregoing, such as healing.
___

It seems to me as well that if nobody else knew about Selanothis, a way could have been arranged for her to go to some specific place and find some specific people, and nobody would notice that, either. It's unstated, and obviously it couldn't happen SOON, but it seems that a similar contingency could be / could have been arranged for her after a certain time , of course. Not sure if that loose end being less ambiguous helps or hinders the story, but it's something that I wonder about as a reader.

Thank you for the stories though. Compelling characters and some nice plot twists. :)
Last edit: 29 Sep 2021 06:55 by ghoti.
The following user(s) said Thank You: Phoenix Spiritus, Dreamer

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29 Sep 2021 14:25 #569 by null0trooper

Producing / transmuting 100 kilos of anything you like in the hands of someone who truly understands chemistry and / or physics, especially with such an intuitive understanding of , you'd have weakness as a stand-up fighter because you're probably no tougher than a lot of people, but the practical applications of the power would be nearly limitless.

You'll rarely see manifestors who can manifest *any* material. We're talking about 13-y.o. kids being given a godly power that doesn't look dangerous. Damn straight they're going to open a chemistry book. When it turns out they don't instinctively know how to make metallic sodium or lithium, they'll order some and wait for the package to arrive. Minutes later, they will be sitting next to a large amount of water with their new toy. If the burns don't kill them, MATD just might finish the job. Three guesses how long the kid working on their nuclear power merit badge will survive manifesting a critical mass of, well, anything.

"Stepping Out": Story link .

Story Discussion

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10 Oct 2021 21:16 #629 by Wavehead
Replied by Wavehead on topic TT0: Seeing is Believing
This is a great follow up to the previous series :) Which I’m enjoying immensely :smiley: Looking forward to your next chapter :)

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