×
New? Arriving? (09 Aug 2021)
Required Reading:
If it is stickied, it is stickied for a reason. Please read it.
×
Stories about the Original Timeline (which runs from Fall 2006 to Spring 2010) can be found here. Also in the OT are those stories that are outside the main time frame set for them but whose protagonists are part of the student body during this time.
A Good Man by Domoviye
28 Dec 2021 01:25 #1038
by DanZilla
A Good Man by Domoviye was created by DanZilla
Part 3 has been released
Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.
28 Dec 2021 04:32 #1040
by Naldru
Replied by Naldru on topic A Good Man by Domoviye
After reading this one, I wish you had put a warning at the beginning. I decided not to read the first two parts. It was good, but it impacted me in a way the others haven't up to now.
The following user(s) said Thank You: Dan Formerly Domoviye
Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.
- Dan Formerly Domoviye
-
- Offline
- Author
-
Less
More
- Posts: 262
- Thank you received: 241
28 Dec 2021 04:34 #1041
by Dan Formerly Domoviye
Replied by Dan Formerly Domoviye on topic A Good Man by Domoviye
Sorry about that.
And yeah, you definitely shouldn't read Part 2.
Don't worry, my future stories won't get quite as dark as this one.
And yeah, you definitely shouldn't read Part 2.
Don't worry, my future stories won't get quite as dark as this one.
The following user(s) said Thank You: Naldru
Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.
28 Dec 2021 05:36 #1042
by Dreamer
Thank You for the story comments appreciated and help me know they are being read and liked.
Note: My story comments can't nor are trying to replace reading the stories, simply my way of enjoying them and letting the authors know I enjoy them.
Replied by Dreamer on topic A Good Man by Domoviye
SPOILER ALERT
Below is a stream of conscious commentary I type up as I read the story. There will be details from the story included in it. If you have not read the story yet and don't wish to have details of it spoiled, read no further.
A Good Man Part 1 comments
Below is a stream of conscious commentary I type up as I read the story. There will be details from the story included in it. If you have not read the story yet and don't wish to have details of it spoiled, read no further.
A Good Man Part 1 comments
Warning: Spoiler!
Why is Tara at an MCO research lab, with Dr. Anthony Carter thinking of her as a test subject it doesn't sound good to me. At least he is trying to be nice to Tara but is it just to get her to open up or does he actually care about the girl. A teenage girl who looks better than Cindy Crawford, better be keeping a close on the guards around her. Training Tara to gain control of what sounds like super-strength from a mid-to-high level Exemplar trait, but why the MCO and why at a research lab like she is a guinea pig.
Studying mutants to try and understand things about them, sounds more like the 'test subjects' are unwilling captives of the MCO and being experimented upon against their will. Especially since Dr. Carter doesn't like the methods the other doctor uses. He gets her a tape, almost forgot this was in 1991 for a moment, to try and keep her calm and listen to her talk about the singer. The title of the song would trigger an alarm for me that something was wrong, 'Don't Cry' sounds like a cry for help to me.
Nora finds out Tara was beaten yesterday by someone using a baton, one of the security guards is a real scumbag. Definitely, captives having illegal experiments done on them. Poor Tara is too afraid to say almost anything. Sent Tara into a rage for part of her 'treatment' by Dr. Brennan, I would be angry at them harming a young girl like that too. She has that kind of power, yet they have her that afraid to speak up, these people are monsters.
A mutant helping the MCO set up their 'research lab', ugh. A gadget of some sort, probably a scanner with something extra, but designed to contain a rager. Restraints designed to hold even a level 6 exemplar, good grief. A machine to induce a rager incident, something she hates and fears. Yet Dr. Carter is deluding himself into thinking this is all research to help other children with the results as if the MCO would allow that. Electrical shock to induce a rager incident is just cruel. And drained to the point of falling asleep afterward, how can anyone witness a young girl go through that and not have the urge to stop it.
Oh god, she is in shock and they do this to her regularly, I'm going to be sick. At least she told about the guards beating her, didn't get back in her room fast enough and beat her, while Dr. Brennan walked away and the guards said she deserved it. *seeing red* Dr. Carter said he will make sure it doesn't happen again and she didn't deserve it, while poor Tara has been so brainwashed by these creeps she believes she deserves everything they do to her. *had to stop typing for a minute, otherwise would have broken keyboard in anger*
Director Brown, why does that name sound familiar to me? And he tries to justify their attack on Tara by saying she attacked one of the guards, a complete lie, arrrggggh! She was so doped up from tranquilizers and after a controlled rager incident she couldn't hurt a child, yet still Director Brown tries to say mutants are unpredictable to excuse the attack upon someone helpless. Calling her a mass murderer for 10 deaths, caused by a mental illness she has no control over, Director Brown sees mutants as monsters to be dealt with and not as humans anymore, sickening.
A child and in their care, Dr. Brennan made a deal with prosecutor and defense attorney to keep Tara as a test subject, to discover how to limit and present rage incidents in other mutants. Swore an oath Tara would be treated humanely and yet they do this kind of crap and makeup excuses for why it is okay. Great, the beginning of the true hardliners among the MCO or at least increases in their numbers, and Director Brown is one of them.
And Brown tries to use the Fools Fight as an excuse for what he is doing to a young girl, listing other mutant threats like Gizmatic and Paramount to justify his beliefs and actions. With that mindset of Brown, he probably sees all mutants as dangerous and wants to suppress their powers 'for the good of humanity'. He thinks the ends justify the means and that protecting baselines matters more than the humane treatment of their research subjects. He calls Carter a mutant lover for saying he will report the beatings to his superiors, why do I feel that Dr. Carter is in danger now.
The MCO just got worse over time, if all Carter can get is a promise to look into the situation and to be patient. So the MCO hadn't gotten as bad as it is in 2006 yet, but was on its way, with young researchers and agents thinking they are in an army meant to fight mutants on the street. Oh brother. And Carter sees the truth, with the MCO heading the way it was going, more and more mutants would fight back instead of lay down and die, leading to more deaths and unneeded fighting. This isn't just stupidity, this is arrogance and paranoia mixed with stupidity.
The big guy is Franky and the teen is Victor, oh boy, I see what you did there. I hope Victor does well and doesn't need Dr. Carter to patch him up. Bigoted idiots, glad to see Dr. Carter stand up to them and get them to hold their tongues. Victor is a willing test subject and can leave any time he wants and they could have driven them away, yet when he threatens to get them fired or sent to the Northern Alaska research center they glare at him. Something seriously wrong with hiring men with attitudes like that. At least the leader apologized and got them to back down.
Hard to control fire manifestation that he is improving in control of, Victor seems to need some confidence. Hope he only needs 1 more year to get it under control enough to live a normal life again. Trying to discover a drug, device, or treatment to stop a mutant power entirely, could easily be weaponized by the MCO. If only it would only be used on mutant criminals or mutants like Tara, Victor, and others where removing their powers would improve their life. But that is naïve thinking when dealing with the MCO, guess they weren't as blatant back in 1991 otherwise Dr. Carter would be worried about what his research would be used for.
Yikes! No immunity to his own fire manifestation, on wonder it is such a curse for Victor. And to work himself so hard as to burn off the flesh from his hands without complaining. Barely feeling any pain due to the drugs he is on, Victor is too stubborn for his own good. Poor kid was having fun and didn't want to stop, despite doing that much damage to his hands. No heavy impact exercise for a week or else grounded with no TV, way to hit him where it hurts. Shower by an orderly, Dr. Carter is right, no teenage boy wants that humiliation. And Carter is upset at letting Victor get so badly hurt by his own powers, man has the weight of the world on his shoulders.
Franky helps out a fellow guard with a cash problem, never heard of CHILL concerning the name of a form of cash before. New guys are all part of the hardliner replacement plan that some higher-ups in the MCO are plotting, treating Franky like a leper for liking mutants, and treating Victor nicely. Franky insults Enrico for insulting him, holds back, and waits for the other guy to throw the first punch to get him first, not knowing that Director Brown will probably pull strings to protect fellow hardliners. Other guys goad Enrico on, while Franky simply insults him again, yet Red sees through Franky and stops Enrico, knowing he would get fired if he threw the first punch. Telling them an excuse of why he works with the mutants before he leaves, I don't buy that is the only reason he works with them.
Sonny, a speedster with scales in place of hair; poor Ben looking like a half-melted doll and having to use a wheelchair, yet so polite. And the boys joke about getting some girls to Dr. Carter right as he is about to leave for the day, from a voice that seems to come from all around. Yet have to settle for Tara or the nurses, which Rob doesn't care for, saying he isn't into older women and calling Tara a murderer. Rob is hairless, with a pink face that is nearly featureless except for two small black pinhole-like eyes, and lizard-like nostrils; smooth skin in place of mouth, jaw, and ears. No wonder he sounds a bit bitter to me.
Oh boy, boys taunting each other about doing what boys do in private, including Victor who shouldn't because of his powers. That is an unusual way to eat for Rob, sonic frequency to crumble the pills to dust and then absorbs them through his skin. Oh boy, a new drug regime and blood work for Sonny, how he can stay still long enough to do that is beyond me with his powers and level of control.
A woman with greying hair, Dr. Brennan seems polite but the moment he brings up what the guards did I doubt she will remain so. Forcing him to keep up so she sets the pace of their encounter, and she has met with politicians, business leaders, and various Goodkinds, all very anti-mutant. Explains her attitude towards testing, she doesn't even see her test subjects as humans anymore. Trying to excuse her lack of action by saying Director Brown found nothing wrong with her actions, ugh. The woman is an ice queen, cold and logical all the time. Ooo, and her uncle was one of the first reported ragers on record, she actually gets upset at him being brought up.
Trying to transfer Nora, they are targeting any mutant 'lovers' who work with Dr. Carter to try and weaken his support as the research lab. Plus she has a boyfriend here who is going to propose soon, ripping her life apart over petty politics is just cruel. The Director's secretary obviously was told exactly what to say and practiced it. Trying to set him up with one of the new researchers, aka a plant that works for the hardliners, will put back Dr. Carter's research years.
Hopefully, the head office will tell the truth and stop Nora's transfer; if it did come from the top then the hardliners have already infiltrated them. Chemicals not being consistent between the ragers when tested sounds right as mutants shouldn't be predictable. No animal mutants, plus a fiasco called Butchers Row which made mutants afraid to come to the MCO, leaving only the desperate coming to the MCO looking for help or agreeing to help his research. Definitely different from 2006, doubt any mutant would willingly be part of an MCO research project by then.
Police reports can be doctored and people can lie, I agree with Mrs. Carson not trusting the MCO and their research project. To lose a student who was like one of her children to corrupt police and an MCO agent, if she had found any proof they murdered him I doubt she wouldn't have contacted the Syndicate about it. And Dr. Carter thinks she is being stupid and hardheaded, he is being naïve in his belief that the MCO and police don't lie and doctor reports, especially when it involves a mutant.
Splitting up a whole team of researchers for 'more important research elsewhere', David is right, the MCO started going insane right around then. That close to figuring out what happens inside a warper's head when they are using their power and they cut him off; sounds like they are coopting the research for other plans. And is happening is the hardliners are taking over and they think all mutant research should be about ways to contain or kill them.
All this mess because of Fools Fight and the Goodkinds funneling more money to the MCO but only to the field agent division. Bribing the DPA and politicians to get their way, federal support for more field agents and support staff, the true start of the MCO's corruption into the monsters they have become by 2006. Because of one incident people started living in fear, increasing H1! ranks and the MCO's power. Even local police in on burning and lynching of suspected mutants, more than a few are baselines with rare eye color or conditions being killed out of fear and ignorance.
And the start of the MID, forcing mutants to register and using Dr. Carter's rating system which was only for research and policing purposes, talk about severe abuse of power. Blocking out and forced retirement of the old guard they can't remove, talk about corrupt tactics within their own ranks. And with the way things are in 2006 that miracle they needed to keep the MCO following their charter never came.
This David Wellington says he spent 5 years hunting down mutant supervillains and their henchmen, was injured aiding the police in a mutant manhunt, not sure what to think about him. Thinks the rating system is a good thing, seems to be sucking up to Dr. Carter. Says he won't have a problem working with mutants, I'm with Dr. Carter on not believing him. The first reflex upon seeing Rob was to try and go for a gun he used to have on him at all times, a bad idea for this guy to work around mutants. At least David was professional with the physical, even if he was cold about it.
His hope of the other candidates falling fast, as Mrs. Wells thought she would be working with dead mutants, despite being told they would be young mutants, that is a sick woman. And the final one is just as bad, calling Victor an it, acting like mutants should do exactly what they are ordered. She cared more about her makeup than the harm she did to Victor and when dismissed was shocked and blamed Victor, another hardliner idiot.
Poor kids, losing Nora because of politics and stupidity, with David the least bad of the bunch. At least David can be trained, unlike the other two. And of course, Rob wants a pretty young woman as the nurse so he could try and seduce her, kid dreams big. The Iron Mountain married a woman with stretching powers, yet too intimate to tell the kids about. And Dr. Carter was too married to his work to find a wife, typical scientist too focused on their work. Thanking Dr. Carter for treating them like humans, when it is something they should be given and not have to worry about.
Dr. Brennan used a surgical saw on Tara while she was drugged and restrained, yet could still feel it, that woman is a monster! Cut her hand off, ball-gag in her mouth, and did it again while sadistic guards watched, yet she has been brainwashed into believing she deserves it. All because of what happened in her uncontrolled rage that killed her parents and 8 others. Tara is living a nightmare, fearing her own rage getting out, the inhuman testing of Dr. Brennan, and her treatment by the guards.
The security chief dumping the new guys on Franky and being a lazy bum until he needs to look good for the director. *screams in frustration at the number of idiots in the MCO* And that is certainly different from how the MCO runs their facilities now, standing their ground no matter what. Oh boy, this guy asking about mutants is going to be trouble, lost some fingers to one, and wants some payback. Warning them about Victor and especially Tara, yet at least one guy doesn't get it, thinking she should be locked up. Saying she has a better grip on her temper than most teens Franky knows doesn't convince them, guess they will learn. And as Franky said, mess with her, and members of the old guard will beat you up, at least those that are left.
Rob is the only one around and taunts someone about being prettier than them, and the guard with half his face burned off shoved Rob and sent him flying, a bad move. The sensation of something playing drums in their guts, with the guard who attacked Rob let out a nasty fart and it ended. Rob did something like a 'brown note' and made the guy shit himself, dang. Talk about calling him a freak, look at him with disgust but lay a hand on him and you are in trouble, that isn't even the worst he can do to someone. Rob just got a lot scarier. And scar face goes to attack with his baton, only for Franky to take him outside and tell him to report for attacking a patient. If you can't handle some teens mouthing off, you don't need to be working with them. Scarface got off lucky.
Corrupt guards following Dr. Brennan's orders and coming in full armor with weapons that can hurt her, after Tara has cooperated with them. Even saying she can refuse the experiment or study until another doctor reviews it and they say they are just following orders, many monsters in history were 'just following orders'. Only Tara's desire not to kill anyone ever again spares the idiot guards. And those sick guards wanted her to resist so they could attack and possibly kill her, sick *****.
Crap, Enrico is one of the guards, this isn't good. Sick ***** talking about getting a video of the torture for later, these guys are monsters, taking pleasure in the suffering of another. The guards are saying they are just following orders, to go see the doctor, treating her like she isn't even human, Tara is going to end up dead at this rate. She is trying to hold back her rage, they wish to kill her, not wishing to kill those she has come to care about here, and tries to run for Dr. Carter's office. This is going to end in tragedy.
Nora quit rather than move, good for her, get out of the MCO now. Getting rid of the old guard through corrupt politics, someone should have done something before it got this far. The Director's secretary lying about him not being available again, she is told to say that to any of the old guard who comes to confront him. He created these labs and built them from scratch, yet the MCO is stealing it from him with their corrupt politics, ugh.
The fear and panic after the Fools Fight is just foolish, people murdering their own children or letting them be murdered simply for manifesting, just sickening. Poor Tara shows up and despite Dr. Carter being there the guards still try to take her, at least the idiots didn't stop him from taking Tara and hopefully stopping a rager incident. Begging to be sent to jail, despite the thought scaring her in the past, Dr. Brennan needs some cosmic justice handed down to her. Telling about the last experiment sounds even worse than reading the torture she was put through, plus the guards taunting her about doing more today and being fun to watch. How such people can call themselves humans is beyond me. Dr. Carter is going to call his superiors, should have called the lawyer instead.
Oh crap, heading to Detroit to demand help in person, isn't Detroit one of the worst MCO offices in the future. These new guys, if I heard them talking like this and saw the way things were going, I'm afraid I would end up killing all of these monsters. Good, teach these assholes a lesson they never forget. Trying to confront Enrico and his thugs, they head outside the bar only for it to be a set-up, using a flash-bang on Franky and his group to gain an unfair advantage, then ganging up on Franky. Hearing about this will trigger a rager incident in Tara and Enrico first on the chopping block.
H1! idiots calling for the MCO to wipe out mutants, not realizing more would be born to so-called normal baselines, no one knows the true source of mutants. The mob blocking proper business of a government building, that is an arrestable offense. Crowding around an older gentleman like that who is walking with a cane, a bunch of animals, acting out of fear with no rational thought. Oh, great. Another of the hardliners is the receptionist at the main MCO HQ, this is a seriously bad sign.
A door designed to stop a raging exemplar, proof that the Fools Fight has turned them into paranoid fools who think all mutants are a threat, imo. And they have spread bad news and lies about Dr. Carter, making everyone fearful or suspicious of him. Richard is in worse shape than before, great, he isn't even in charge of the research center anymore. They can't even find out who their boss is, needless bureaucracy to keep those who would complain from being effective. Anyone pro-mutant being given forced retirement, the corruption of the MCO in becoming what they are in 2006 is worse than I imagined. Get the patients back to their parents [Sentence says Get your patients back to your parents.], send Robert to New York to live on his own, and get Tara sent to prison where it will be safer. This is a nightmare for every one of the old guard. And they are killing the mutant research volunteers and trying to make it look like accidents. *screams in fury*
Director Brown is lying to the boys and trying to say their parents gave temporary custody of them to the MCO, that slimeball! No visits from their parents, all the better to do illegal experiments and end up killing them in 'accidents'. They complain and the guard pulls out a large taser, just a bunch of thugs now. And intimidating Robert into staying, this is bullshit, when Dr. Carter gets back I hope he sorts this all out and gets them out of there without Brown stopping him or killing any of them in the process.
Arm in a sling from a sprained wrist, barely able to see out of his right eye, and a concussion, plus Franky's two friends had broken bones. Yet the police did nothing, a bunch of cowards. Slashed the front left tire so he can't drive it, adding insult to injury. Enrico and his buddies will pay for this.
Great, because of the attitude towards mutants like now the mutant would sentence her to the death penalty, despite her being underage and having a mental illness that caused it, reading this story is hard, I'm literally starting to feel physically ill from the thought of people treating other humans this way. And the scum would fast-track it so she is dead in 5 years. 3 siblings were shot and burned because the 13-year-old was accused of being a mutant, not even confirmed and they did it. The people doing this are nothing but animals. The hate and rot he thought were safely contained in the MCO is loose, taking it all over, should have removed it sooner with prejudice. A transport truck hit Richards's car, with everything that has happened it is obviously the hardliners' form of 'forced retirement'. *dry heaves*
They say the driver fell asleep and veered into the oncoming lane, still feels like a set-up to me. And the mugger hitting him across the face I could buy from a real mugger, they would have run afterward, fearing the police might show up. But this guy keeps beating on him, leading me to believe it is an MCO hardliner who was sent to silence Dr. Carter. Wonder how he is going to get out of this one.
Studying mutants to try and understand things about them, sounds more like the 'test subjects' are unwilling captives of the MCO and being experimented upon against their will. Especially since Dr. Carter doesn't like the methods the other doctor uses. He gets her a tape, almost forgot this was in 1991 for a moment, to try and keep her calm and listen to her talk about the singer. The title of the song would trigger an alarm for me that something was wrong, 'Don't Cry' sounds like a cry for help to me.
Nora finds out Tara was beaten yesterday by someone using a baton, one of the security guards is a real scumbag. Definitely, captives having illegal experiments done on them. Poor Tara is too afraid to say almost anything. Sent Tara into a rage for part of her 'treatment' by Dr. Brennan, I would be angry at them harming a young girl like that too. She has that kind of power, yet they have her that afraid to speak up, these people are monsters.
A mutant helping the MCO set up their 'research lab', ugh. A gadget of some sort, probably a scanner with something extra, but designed to contain a rager. Restraints designed to hold even a level 6 exemplar, good grief. A machine to induce a rager incident, something she hates and fears. Yet Dr. Carter is deluding himself into thinking this is all research to help other children with the results as if the MCO would allow that. Electrical shock to induce a rager incident is just cruel. And drained to the point of falling asleep afterward, how can anyone witness a young girl go through that and not have the urge to stop it.
Oh god, she is in shock and they do this to her regularly, I'm going to be sick. At least she told about the guards beating her, didn't get back in her room fast enough and beat her, while Dr. Brennan walked away and the guards said she deserved it. *seeing red* Dr. Carter said he will make sure it doesn't happen again and she didn't deserve it, while poor Tara has been so brainwashed by these creeps she believes she deserves everything they do to her. *had to stop typing for a minute, otherwise would have broken keyboard in anger*
Director Brown, why does that name sound familiar to me? And he tries to justify their attack on Tara by saying she attacked one of the guards, a complete lie, arrrggggh! She was so doped up from tranquilizers and after a controlled rager incident she couldn't hurt a child, yet still Director Brown tries to say mutants are unpredictable to excuse the attack upon someone helpless. Calling her a mass murderer for 10 deaths, caused by a mental illness she has no control over, Director Brown sees mutants as monsters to be dealt with and not as humans anymore, sickening.
A child and in their care, Dr. Brennan made a deal with prosecutor and defense attorney to keep Tara as a test subject, to discover how to limit and present rage incidents in other mutants. Swore an oath Tara would be treated humanely and yet they do this kind of crap and makeup excuses for why it is okay. Great, the beginning of the true hardliners among the MCO or at least increases in their numbers, and Director Brown is one of them.
And Brown tries to use the Fools Fight as an excuse for what he is doing to a young girl, listing other mutant threats like Gizmatic and Paramount to justify his beliefs and actions. With that mindset of Brown, he probably sees all mutants as dangerous and wants to suppress their powers 'for the good of humanity'. He thinks the ends justify the means and that protecting baselines matters more than the humane treatment of their research subjects. He calls Carter a mutant lover for saying he will report the beatings to his superiors, why do I feel that Dr. Carter is in danger now.
The MCO just got worse over time, if all Carter can get is a promise to look into the situation and to be patient. So the MCO hadn't gotten as bad as it is in 2006 yet, but was on its way, with young researchers and agents thinking they are in an army meant to fight mutants on the street. Oh brother. And Carter sees the truth, with the MCO heading the way it was going, more and more mutants would fight back instead of lay down and die, leading to more deaths and unneeded fighting. This isn't just stupidity, this is arrogance and paranoia mixed with stupidity.
The big guy is Franky and the teen is Victor, oh boy, I see what you did there. I hope Victor does well and doesn't need Dr. Carter to patch him up. Bigoted idiots, glad to see Dr. Carter stand up to them and get them to hold their tongues. Victor is a willing test subject and can leave any time he wants and they could have driven them away, yet when he threatens to get them fired or sent to the Northern Alaska research center they glare at him. Something seriously wrong with hiring men with attitudes like that. At least the leader apologized and got them to back down.
Hard to control fire manifestation that he is improving in control of, Victor seems to need some confidence. Hope he only needs 1 more year to get it under control enough to live a normal life again. Trying to discover a drug, device, or treatment to stop a mutant power entirely, could easily be weaponized by the MCO. If only it would only be used on mutant criminals or mutants like Tara, Victor, and others where removing their powers would improve their life. But that is naïve thinking when dealing with the MCO, guess they weren't as blatant back in 1991 otherwise Dr. Carter would be worried about what his research would be used for.
Yikes! No immunity to his own fire manifestation, on wonder it is such a curse for Victor. And to work himself so hard as to burn off the flesh from his hands without complaining. Barely feeling any pain due to the drugs he is on, Victor is too stubborn for his own good. Poor kid was having fun and didn't want to stop, despite doing that much damage to his hands. No heavy impact exercise for a week or else grounded with no TV, way to hit him where it hurts. Shower by an orderly, Dr. Carter is right, no teenage boy wants that humiliation. And Carter is upset at letting Victor get so badly hurt by his own powers, man has the weight of the world on his shoulders.
Franky helps out a fellow guard with a cash problem, never heard of CHILL concerning the name of a form of cash before. New guys are all part of the hardliner replacement plan that some higher-ups in the MCO are plotting, treating Franky like a leper for liking mutants, and treating Victor nicely. Franky insults Enrico for insulting him, holds back, and waits for the other guy to throw the first punch to get him first, not knowing that Director Brown will probably pull strings to protect fellow hardliners. Other guys goad Enrico on, while Franky simply insults him again, yet Red sees through Franky and stops Enrico, knowing he would get fired if he threw the first punch. Telling them an excuse of why he works with the mutants before he leaves, I don't buy that is the only reason he works with them.
Sonny, a speedster with scales in place of hair; poor Ben looking like a half-melted doll and having to use a wheelchair, yet so polite. And the boys joke about getting some girls to Dr. Carter right as he is about to leave for the day, from a voice that seems to come from all around. Yet have to settle for Tara or the nurses, which Rob doesn't care for, saying he isn't into older women and calling Tara a murderer. Rob is hairless, with a pink face that is nearly featureless except for two small black pinhole-like eyes, and lizard-like nostrils; smooth skin in place of mouth, jaw, and ears. No wonder he sounds a bit bitter to me.
Oh boy, boys taunting each other about doing what boys do in private, including Victor who shouldn't because of his powers. That is an unusual way to eat for Rob, sonic frequency to crumble the pills to dust and then absorbs them through his skin. Oh boy, a new drug regime and blood work for Sonny, how he can stay still long enough to do that is beyond me with his powers and level of control.
A woman with greying hair, Dr. Brennan seems polite but the moment he brings up what the guards did I doubt she will remain so. Forcing him to keep up so she sets the pace of their encounter, and she has met with politicians, business leaders, and various Goodkinds, all very anti-mutant. Explains her attitude towards testing, she doesn't even see her test subjects as humans anymore. Trying to excuse her lack of action by saying Director Brown found nothing wrong with her actions, ugh. The woman is an ice queen, cold and logical all the time. Ooo, and her uncle was one of the first reported ragers on record, she actually gets upset at him being brought up.
Trying to transfer Nora, they are targeting any mutant 'lovers' who work with Dr. Carter to try and weaken his support as the research lab. Plus she has a boyfriend here who is going to propose soon, ripping her life apart over petty politics is just cruel. The Director's secretary obviously was told exactly what to say and practiced it. Trying to set him up with one of the new researchers, aka a plant that works for the hardliners, will put back Dr. Carter's research years.
Hopefully, the head office will tell the truth and stop Nora's transfer; if it did come from the top then the hardliners have already infiltrated them. Chemicals not being consistent between the ragers when tested sounds right as mutants shouldn't be predictable. No animal mutants, plus a fiasco called Butchers Row which made mutants afraid to come to the MCO, leaving only the desperate coming to the MCO looking for help or agreeing to help his research. Definitely different from 2006, doubt any mutant would willingly be part of an MCO research project by then.
Police reports can be doctored and people can lie, I agree with Mrs. Carson not trusting the MCO and their research project. To lose a student who was like one of her children to corrupt police and an MCO agent, if she had found any proof they murdered him I doubt she wouldn't have contacted the Syndicate about it. And Dr. Carter thinks she is being stupid and hardheaded, he is being naïve in his belief that the MCO and police don't lie and doctor reports, especially when it involves a mutant.
Splitting up a whole team of researchers for 'more important research elsewhere', David is right, the MCO started going insane right around then. That close to figuring out what happens inside a warper's head when they are using their power and they cut him off; sounds like they are coopting the research for other plans. And is happening is the hardliners are taking over and they think all mutant research should be about ways to contain or kill them.
All this mess because of Fools Fight and the Goodkinds funneling more money to the MCO but only to the field agent division. Bribing the DPA and politicians to get their way, federal support for more field agents and support staff, the true start of the MCO's corruption into the monsters they have become by 2006. Because of one incident people started living in fear, increasing H1! ranks and the MCO's power. Even local police in on burning and lynching of suspected mutants, more than a few are baselines with rare eye color or conditions being killed out of fear and ignorance.
And the start of the MID, forcing mutants to register and using Dr. Carter's rating system which was only for research and policing purposes, talk about severe abuse of power. Blocking out and forced retirement of the old guard they can't remove, talk about corrupt tactics within their own ranks. And with the way things are in 2006 that miracle they needed to keep the MCO following their charter never came.
This David Wellington says he spent 5 years hunting down mutant supervillains and their henchmen, was injured aiding the police in a mutant manhunt, not sure what to think about him. Thinks the rating system is a good thing, seems to be sucking up to Dr. Carter. Says he won't have a problem working with mutants, I'm with Dr. Carter on not believing him. The first reflex upon seeing Rob was to try and go for a gun he used to have on him at all times, a bad idea for this guy to work around mutants. At least David was professional with the physical, even if he was cold about it.
His hope of the other candidates falling fast, as Mrs. Wells thought she would be working with dead mutants, despite being told they would be young mutants, that is a sick woman. And the final one is just as bad, calling Victor an it, acting like mutants should do exactly what they are ordered. She cared more about her makeup than the harm she did to Victor and when dismissed was shocked and blamed Victor, another hardliner idiot.
Poor kids, losing Nora because of politics and stupidity, with David the least bad of the bunch. At least David can be trained, unlike the other two. And of course, Rob wants a pretty young woman as the nurse so he could try and seduce her, kid dreams big. The Iron Mountain married a woman with stretching powers, yet too intimate to tell the kids about. And Dr. Carter was too married to his work to find a wife, typical scientist too focused on their work. Thanking Dr. Carter for treating them like humans, when it is something they should be given and not have to worry about.
Dr. Brennan used a surgical saw on Tara while she was drugged and restrained, yet could still feel it, that woman is a monster! Cut her hand off, ball-gag in her mouth, and did it again while sadistic guards watched, yet she has been brainwashed into believing she deserves it. All because of what happened in her uncontrolled rage that killed her parents and 8 others. Tara is living a nightmare, fearing her own rage getting out, the inhuman testing of Dr. Brennan, and her treatment by the guards.
The security chief dumping the new guys on Franky and being a lazy bum until he needs to look good for the director. *screams in frustration at the number of idiots in the MCO* And that is certainly different from how the MCO runs their facilities now, standing their ground no matter what. Oh boy, this guy asking about mutants is going to be trouble, lost some fingers to one, and wants some payback. Warning them about Victor and especially Tara, yet at least one guy doesn't get it, thinking she should be locked up. Saying she has a better grip on her temper than most teens Franky knows doesn't convince them, guess they will learn. And as Franky said, mess with her, and members of the old guard will beat you up, at least those that are left.
Rob is the only one around and taunts someone about being prettier than them, and the guard with half his face burned off shoved Rob and sent him flying, a bad move. The sensation of something playing drums in their guts, with the guard who attacked Rob let out a nasty fart and it ended. Rob did something like a 'brown note' and made the guy shit himself, dang. Talk about calling him a freak, look at him with disgust but lay a hand on him and you are in trouble, that isn't even the worst he can do to someone. Rob just got a lot scarier. And scar face goes to attack with his baton, only for Franky to take him outside and tell him to report for attacking a patient. If you can't handle some teens mouthing off, you don't need to be working with them. Scarface got off lucky.
Corrupt guards following Dr. Brennan's orders and coming in full armor with weapons that can hurt her, after Tara has cooperated with them. Even saying she can refuse the experiment or study until another doctor reviews it and they say they are just following orders, many monsters in history were 'just following orders'. Only Tara's desire not to kill anyone ever again spares the idiot guards. And those sick guards wanted her to resist so they could attack and possibly kill her, sick *****.
Crap, Enrico is one of the guards, this isn't good. Sick ***** talking about getting a video of the torture for later, these guys are monsters, taking pleasure in the suffering of another. The guards are saying they are just following orders, to go see the doctor, treating her like she isn't even human, Tara is going to end up dead at this rate. She is trying to hold back her rage, they wish to kill her, not wishing to kill those she has come to care about here, and tries to run for Dr. Carter's office. This is going to end in tragedy.
Nora quit rather than move, good for her, get out of the MCO now. Getting rid of the old guard through corrupt politics, someone should have done something before it got this far. The Director's secretary lying about him not being available again, she is told to say that to any of the old guard who comes to confront him. He created these labs and built them from scratch, yet the MCO is stealing it from him with their corrupt politics, ugh.
The fear and panic after the Fools Fight is just foolish, people murdering their own children or letting them be murdered simply for manifesting, just sickening. Poor Tara shows up and despite Dr. Carter being there the guards still try to take her, at least the idiots didn't stop him from taking Tara and hopefully stopping a rager incident. Begging to be sent to jail, despite the thought scaring her in the past, Dr. Brennan needs some cosmic justice handed down to her. Telling about the last experiment sounds even worse than reading the torture she was put through, plus the guards taunting her about doing more today and being fun to watch. How such people can call themselves humans is beyond me. Dr. Carter is going to call his superiors, should have called the lawyer instead.
Oh crap, heading to Detroit to demand help in person, isn't Detroit one of the worst MCO offices in the future. These new guys, if I heard them talking like this and saw the way things were going, I'm afraid I would end up killing all of these monsters. Good, teach these assholes a lesson they never forget. Trying to confront Enrico and his thugs, they head outside the bar only for it to be a set-up, using a flash-bang on Franky and his group to gain an unfair advantage, then ganging up on Franky. Hearing about this will trigger a rager incident in Tara and Enrico first on the chopping block.
H1! idiots calling for the MCO to wipe out mutants, not realizing more would be born to so-called normal baselines, no one knows the true source of mutants. The mob blocking proper business of a government building, that is an arrestable offense. Crowding around an older gentleman like that who is walking with a cane, a bunch of animals, acting out of fear with no rational thought. Oh, great. Another of the hardliners is the receptionist at the main MCO HQ, this is a seriously bad sign.
A door designed to stop a raging exemplar, proof that the Fools Fight has turned them into paranoid fools who think all mutants are a threat, imo. And they have spread bad news and lies about Dr. Carter, making everyone fearful or suspicious of him. Richard is in worse shape than before, great, he isn't even in charge of the research center anymore. They can't even find out who their boss is, needless bureaucracy to keep those who would complain from being effective. Anyone pro-mutant being given forced retirement, the corruption of the MCO in becoming what they are in 2006 is worse than I imagined. Get the patients back to their parents [Sentence says Get your patients back to your parents.], send Robert to New York to live on his own, and get Tara sent to prison where it will be safer. This is a nightmare for every one of the old guard. And they are killing the mutant research volunteers and trying to make it look like accidents. *screams in fury*
Director Brown is lying to the boys and trying to say their parents gave temporary custody of them to the MCO, that slimeball! No visits from their parents, all the better to do illegal experiments and end up killing them in 'accidents'. They complain and the guard pulls out a large taser, just a bunch of thugs now. And intimidating Robert into staying, this is bullshit, when Dr. Carter gets back I hope he sorts this all out and gets them out of there without Brown stopping him or killing any of them in the process.
Arm in a sling from a sprained wrist, barely able to see out of his right eye, and a concussion, plus Franky's two friends had broken bones. Yet the police did nothing, a bunch of cowards. Slashed the front left tire so he can't drive it, adding insult to injury. Enrico and his buddies will pay for this.
Great, because of the attitude towards mutants like now the mutant would sentence her to the death penalty, despite her being underage and having a mental illness that caused it, reading this story is hard, I'm literally starting to feel physically ill from the thought of people treating other humans this way. And the scum would fast-track it so she is dead in 5 years. 3 siblings were shot and burned because the 13-year-old was accused of being a mutant, not even confirmed and they did it. The people doing this are nothing but animals. The hate and rot he thought were safely contained in the MCO is loose, taking it all over, should have removed it sooner with prejudice. A transport truck hit Richards's car, with everything that has happened it is obviously the hardliners' form of 'forced retirement'. *dry heaves*
They say the driver fell asleep and veered into the oncoming lane, still feels like a set-up to me. And the mugger hitting him across the face I could buy from a real mugger, they would have run afterward, fearing the police might show up. But this guy keeps beating on him, leading me to believe it is an MCO hardliner who was sent to silence Dr. Carter. Wonder how he is going to get out of this one.
Thank You for the story comments appreciated and help me know they are being read and liked.
Note: My story comments can't nor are trying to replace reading the stories, simply my way of enjoying them and letting the authors know I enjoy them.
The following user(s) said Thank You: null0trooper
Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.
28 Dec 2021 05:37 #1043
by Dreamer
Thank You for the story comments appreciated and help me know they are being read and liked. Note: My story comments can't nor are trying to replace reading the stories, simply my way of enjoying them and letting the authors know I enjoy them.
Replied by Dreamer on topic A Good Man by Domoviye
SPOILER ALERT
Below is a stream of conscious commentary I type up as I read the story. There will be details from the story included in it. If you have not read the story yet and don't wish to have details of it spoiled, read no further.
A Good Man Part 2 comments
Below is a stream of conscious commentary I type up as I read the story. There will be details from the story included in it. If you have not read the story yet and don't wish to have details of it spoiled, read no further.
A Good Man Part 2 comments
Warning: Spoiler!
Poor Tara having to deal with MCO agents like that, oh boy. Dr. Freeman not in for a week, plus telling her a story about why. Believing this is more than she deserved, Tara needs to see Dr. Freeman again and soon. Victor's situation is horrible as well, his own power is a danger to him and potential burnout unless he gets it under control. They tried to drown him and would if his power hadn't flared up forcing the man to let go. Now calling him a genetic defect and saying the pool is for normal people, a bunch of bigots. Saying that, but the thin black man being that strong and throwing Victor like that, how is he normal? Murderous psychopaths, the lot of them.
Okay, at least David is friendly, funny story about a guy in his old unit too. Yikes, any type of panic can trigger her rage, horrible to live with. The guards are a bunch of jackbooted thugs who threaten anyone who doesn't let them "just follow orders", ugh. Dang, David is a badass, taking down the guard like that and tossing them out until they come back with proper documentation. Too close with causing Tara to fly into a rage though.
That was just reflex, dang, David is a lot more impressive and intimidating than before. Dr. Carter left behind a good man to keep an eye on Tara, with all the changes happening at the MCO back then. Ben finds out what happened to Victor, Victor is shown the newspaper article about Dr. Carter being badly beaten. A mugging went wrong, yeah, right. Using Dr. Carter's code to call home without being monitored, Ben is very sneaky. Though it might backfire, since he is in the hospital someone is going to wonder who is using the good doctor's code.
Victor's brother burned that badly, not caring if his own brother is killed even though he didn't have control over his power or a choice in manifesting. Half the police and firefighters in his hometown joined up because of what happened with Victor and are using Johnny as a poster boy. Even talks of burning Victor alive and him lighting the match, good lord, it was an accident and he didn't have a choice in manifesting. Murdering him won't change a thing. Victor even has a small part of himself trying to convince him he should have let the guards drown him, things have gotten a lot worse.
Her favorite foods and Brandon giving her small talk feels like something is up. A picture of Franky hidden in the napkin beaten up severely, all to set her off, these people doing this are sick. Full-on rage, throwing David into the bathroom to try and save him from herself, hope she didn't throw him too hard.
Dr. Carter is in that bad of shape, trying to remember what happened before he woke up there. Good lore, a serial killer with a low-level warper to teleport things into the human body and use it that way, a nightmare. The woman saying he is in good hands, why don't I trust what she said.
Rob not wearing a shirt to mess with those uncomfortable by his appearance, anything to mess with the creeps that make up the majority now is a good thing. Six months until he gets his inheritance, betting the MCO isn't going to let him live that long if they can help it. Lights go out and we find out he has sonar more detailed than anything in nature or man-made can do. Two guards trying to come to beat him, not knowing about his sonar. Surrounding himself in silence, hitting them with an ear-piercing squeal, harmonics to control them for a moment, dang, Rob is powerful with sonic manipulation.
Dang, that happened to his father due to living in a village with old-style beliefs. A patriotic man who loved America taught his kids violence was a last resort and only to kill to protect your family. Then Rob manifested and the H1! hit squad came for them, brother and mother shot as they watched TV, father killed the man who attack Rob and him in the kitchen, but got killed shielding Rob from a hail of gunfire. Rob left the 5 remaining members of the hit squad permanently deaf and would have killed them if he knew how back then. All this is to tell the guards not to mess with him or any of the other mutants there or else they won't have to worry about Tara.
Rob calls a group meeting, finds out about the attack on Victor, Ben gets picked up by his parents tomorrow unless the MCO goons do something. Victor and Sonny can't go home for different reasons, having to deal with the guards like they used to might get them beaten or killed now with Dr. Carter gone. Great, the others don't realize how bad things are, Victor doesn't wish to burn anyone due to his own burns and what he saw his powers do to his brother, Sonny just thinks he can run and Rob is being paranoid. Victor is scared over what will happen if they fight back, how the guards might react or if the "good guys" might get involved. This is a nightmare they are living in right now.
David alive, but hurting, Tara blaming herself for what happened. 3 broken ribs and bad bruising, because she had a rage incident they have her in that get-up, even though someone deliberately triggered it with a picture of Franky beaten up. Great, she thinks they should have just killed her, poor kid. Lets her out of the gear, gives her the key to leave, yet she drops it and breaks down, crying into David's arms. She wishes for everything to end, but can't bring herself to do it, meaning she really doesn't wish to die deep down.
Franky Collins had to talk to his new boss, Security Chief Penick. Penick telling him to resign, scum just wants more anti-mutant bigots working there and fewer people looking out for the mutants' interests. Training them to fight, to defend themselves, is a security risk? Only if the guards intend to attack them without cause. Parking lot duty and the chair is broken just as he is about to take over, talk about bullying. The guard grinning, these new guards are scum, sorry to repeat myself but good grief.
In a hospital and in such bad shape he is being kept sedated so he can heal since he keeps trying to move. Dr. Carter is going to freak when he recovers and finds out what has been going on while he was gone.
All those things she figured out about the people there, yet David is a blank to her. Dang, didn't even wash her off and left her in that condition after she went into a rage. David has seen worse than Tara in a rage, has the scars on his face to show it. Mutant werewolf in France did the damage and he didn't even have a gun because the French didn't accept his permits. MCO and superheroes threatening each other instead of working together to capture the mutant, even nearly taking each other's heads off, dang. He was helping the victims of the attack, doing his job despite the danger.
Taking care of the wounded and either the MCO or superheroes drove the werewolf in his direction, saved a woman, and was slashed from face to waist, waking up in a hospital with his wife sleeping in a chair. His wife is a part-time hairstylist, he is a nurse, and they have kids together. Tara is told what happened to Dr. Carter and kept herself in control, and now David knows what the guards were trying to pull with the picture of Franky. Ah, he met his wife in Australia.
Ben's mom tries to comfort Victor and Sonny about things getting better as they take their son home, his dad tense as he thinks the MCO might try something. Ben is going to Whateley, talking about how he will write to let them know what it is like once he gets settled in there. Ben and Victor tease each other, as they watch Ben leave. Director says it is good, that if the guards leave them alone the boys will leave them alone back. But if any of his men are hurt or they break the rules they will be punished, oh boy.
Blames Rob for dishes that exploded in the kitchen, giving them 30 minutes to clean it up, if not done to his satisfaction no supper. Then Rob calls him on it with colorful language and it gets cut down to 15 minutes, he is setting them up and trying to use any excuse he can to target them now. Rob is frustrated as Victor and Sonny won't stand up to the bullying, can't leave without their parents' permission, and thus are afraid of what will happen to them. Victor's frustration boils over and he blasts a wall, this is bad.
Franky has to deal with the same thugs who beat him the other night. Fired the psychiatrist, this Director is way too obvious about his plotting against the mutants in the facility. Trying to talk to Victor and get him to open up, hope no one is listening in. Oh boy, thinking Dr. Carter might not get better and being told to either rollover and die or fight, Victor is facing some tough choices.
Oh boy, the Director has Tara's chains and mask put back on, her rage back up. Dr. Brennan has Tara so terrified, begging her not to hurt her, her rage dies down. And when says she would rather go to jail, the bitch brings in two of the worst guards causing Tara to fly into a rage at them. Triggered the rage just so they could take her exhausted for experiments after she had already raged.
Cure, what cure did Wendy use on Dr. Carter to help him heal faster, cold therapy was taken to the extreme from how cold he felt possible. Suspend her medical license and most likely lose it, just because she is a mutant. Ah, used an untested medical devise to save a patient and got caught. The Fools Fight requires all medical devises and gadgets to be tested again to ensure complete safety, sounds like paranoia against anything made by a mutant to me.
I like her, would rather lose her license or go to jail than lose a patient or friend. Having to be reminded he isn't in the good fight alone, Dr. Carter has more allies than he realizes. Dang, flirting with him and something to make him feel young again, Wendy, you just saved him, don't give him a heart attack. Exemplar and shapeshifter as well, dang. Guessing based on how the MCO is in Gen 1 that tearing it down to rebuild it failed, rats.
They left her for dead in her room after the "experiments"! If David hadn't come to check on her, she would have died. Dr. Brennan is a monster in the truest sense of the word. Rob shows up, finding her bandaged up with multiple IVs in her, yet 4 armed guards around her bed. Rob warns if anything happens that isn't for treatment purposes, he will have to get angry. The guards get twitchy, so the doctor asks Rob to leave.
Rob is dressing for war, saying he is going for a walk to Sonny and he will blast down the doors if they don't let him. Director waiting for him at the check-out desk, implied threat against Rob and his friends by the Director, oh boy. Rob is going after Dr. Brennan to give her a taste of her own medicine.
Dr. Carter talked to Mallory about what is going on in the MCO. Great, anti-mutant, and tow the MCO line or else for politicians, no wonder things got so bad in the 15 years to Gen 1. Great, bringing up Tara and many won't have sympathy for her due to the death of her family, already off to a bad start. Great, Mr. Giles's case is being seen as an open and shut case already, along with Dr. Carter's just being a violent mugging. Trying to get real evidence of the MCO's corruption, oh boy. Dr. Carter has his work cut out for him, while Franky is on the verge of murdering someone for what happened to Tara. Things are just getting worse.
Okay, at least David is friendly, funny story about a guy in his old unit too. Yikes, any type of panic can trigger her rage, horrible to live with. The guards are a bunch of jackbooted thugs who threaten anyone who doesn't let them "just follow orders", ugh. Dang, David is a badass, taking down the guard like that and tossing them out until they come back with proper documentation. Too close with causing Tara to fly into a rage though.
That was just reflex, dang, David is a lot more impressive and intimidating than before. Dr. Carter left behind a good man to keep an eye on Tara, with all the changes happening at the MCO back then. Ben finds out what happened to Victor, Victor is shown the newspaper article about Dr. Carter being badly beaten. A mugging went wrong, yeah, right. Using Dr. Carter's code to call home without being monitored, Ben is very sneaky. Though it might backfire, since he is in the hospital someone is going to wonder who is using the good doctor's code.
Victor's brother burned that badly, not caring if his own brother is killed even though he didn't have control over his power or a choice in manifesting. Half the police and firefighters in his hometown joined up because of what happened with Victor and are using Johnny as a poster boy. Even talks of burning Victor alive and him lighting the match, good lord, it was an accident and he didn't have a choice in manifesting. Murdering him won't change a thing. Victor even has a small part of himself trying to convince him he should have let the guards drown him, things have gotten a lot worse.
Her favorite foods and Brandon giving her small talk feels like something is up. A picture of Franky hidden in the napkin beaten up severely, all to set her off, these people doing this are sick. Full-on rage, throwing David into the bathroom to try and save him from herself, hope she didn't throw him too hard.
Dr. Carter is in that bad of shape, trying to remember what happened before he woke up there. Good lore, a serial killer with a low-level warper to teleport things into the human body and use it that way, a nightmare. The woman saying he is in good hands, why don't I trust what she said.
Rob not wearing a shirt to mess with those uncomfortable by his appearance, anything to mess with the creeps that make up the majority now is a good thing. Six months until he gets his inheritance, betting the MCO isn't going to let him live that long if they can help it. Lights go out and we find out he has sonar more detailed than anything in nature or man-made can do. Two guards trying to come to beat him, not knowing about his sonar. Surrounding himself in silence, hitting them with an ear-piercing squeal, harmonics to control them for a moment, dang, Rob is powerful with sonic manipulation.
Dang, that happened to his father due to living in a village with old-style beliefs. A patriotic man who loved America taught his kids violence was a last resort and only to kill to protect your family. Then Rob manifested and the H1! hit squad came for them, brother and mother shot as they watched TV, father killed the man who attack Rob and him in the kitchen, but got killed shielding Rob from a hail of gunfire. Rob left the 5 remaining members of the hit squad permanently deaf and would have killed them if he knew how back then. All this is to tell the guards not to mess with him or any of the other mutants there or else they won't have to worry about Tara.
Rob calls a group meeting, finds out about the attack on Victor, Ben gets picked up by his parents tomorrow unless the MCO goons do something. Victor and Sonny can't go home for different reasons, having to deal with the guards like they used to might get them beaten or killed now with Dr. Carter gone. Great, the others don't realize how bad things are, Victor doesn't wish to burn anyone due to his own burns and what he saw his powers do to his brother, Sonny just thinks he can run and Rob is being paranoid. Victor is scared over what will happen if they fight back, how the guards might react or if the "good guys" might get involved. This is a nightmare they are living in right now.
David alive, but hurting, Tara blaming herself for what happened. 3 broken ribs and bad bruising, because she had a rage incident they have her in that get-up, even though someone deliberately triggered it with a picture of Franky beaten up. Great, she thinks they should have just killed her, poor kid. Lets her out of the gear, gives her the key to leave, yet she drops it and breaks down, crying into David's arms. She wishes for everything to end, but can't bring herself to do it, meaning she really doesn't wish to die deep down.
Franky Collins had to talk to his new boss, Security Chief Penick. Penick telling him to resign, scum just wants more anti-mutant bigots working there and fewer people looking out for the mutants' interests. Training them to fight, to defend themselves, is a security risk? Only if the guards intend to attack them without cause. Parking lot duty and the chair is broken just as he is about to take over, talk about bullying. The guard grinning, these new guards are scum, sorry to repeat myself but good grief.
In a hospital and in such bad shape he is being kept sedated so he can heal since he keeps trying to move. Dr. Carter is going to freak when he recovers and finds out what has been going on while he was gone.
All those things she figured out about the people there, yet David is a blank to her. Dang, didn't even wash her off and left her in that condition after she went into a rage. David has seen worse than Tara in a rage, has the scars on his face to show it. Mutant werewolf in France did the damage and he didn't even have a gun because the French didn't accept his permits. MCO and superheroes threatening each other instead of working together to capture the mutant, even nearly taking each other's heads off, dang. He was helping the victims of the attack, doing his job despite the danger.
Taking care of the wounded and either the MCO or superheroes drove the werewolf in his direction, saved a woman, and was slashed from face to waist, waking up in a hospital with his wife sleeping in a chair. His wife is a part-time hairstylist, he is a nurse, and they have kids together. Tara is told what happened to Dr. Carter and kept herself in control, and now David knows what the guards were trying to pull with the picture of Franky. Ah, he met his wife in Australia.
Ben's mom tries to comfort Victor and Sonny about things getting better as they take their son home, his dad tense as he thinks the MCO might try something. Ben is going to Whateley, talking about how he will write to let them know what it is like once he gets settled in there. Ben and Victor tease each other, as they watch Ben leave. Director says it is good, that if the guards leave them alone the boys will leave them alone back. But if any of his men are hurt or they break the rules they will be punished, oh boy.
Blames Rob for dishes that exploded in the kitchen, giving them 30 minutes to clean it up, if not done to his satisfaction no supper. Then Rob calls him on it with colorful language and it gets cut down to 15 minutes, he is setting them up and trying to use any excuse he can to target them now. Rob is frustrated as Victor and Sonny won't stand up to the bullying, can't leave without their parents' permission, and thus are afraid of what will happen to them. Victor's frustration boils over and he blasts a wall, this is bad.
Franky has to deal with the same thugs who beat him the other night. Fired the psychiatrist, this Director is way too obvious about his plotting against the mutants in the facility. Trying to talk to Victor and get him to open up, hope no one is listening in. Oh boy, thinking Dr. Carter might not get better and being told to either rollover and die or fight, Victor is facing some tough choices.
Oh boy, the Director has Tara's chains and mask put back on, her rage back up. Dr. Brennan has Tara so terrified, begging her not to hurt her, her rage dies down. And when says she would rather go to jail, the bitch brings in two of the worst guards causing Tara to fly into a rage at them. Triggered the rage just so they could take her exhausted for experiments after she had already raged.
Cure, what cure did Wendy use on Dr. Carter to help him heal faster, cold therapy was taken to the extreme from how cold he felt possible. Suspend her medical license and most likely lose it, just because she is a mutant. Ah, used an untested medical devise to save a patient and got caught. The Fools Fight requires all medical devises and gadgets to be tested again to ensure complete safety, sounds like paranoia against anything made by a mutant to me.
I like her, would rather lose her license or go to jail than lose a patient or friend. Having to be reminded he isn't in the good fight alone, Dr. Carter has more allies than he realizes. Dang, flirting with him and something to make him feel young again, Wendy, you just saved him, don't give him a heart attack. Exemplar and shapeshifter as well, dang. Guessing based on how the MCO is in Gen 1 that tearing it down to rebuild it failed, rats.
They left her for dead in her room after the "experiments"! If David hadn't come to check on her, she would have died. Dr. Brennan is a monster in the truest sense of the word. Rob shows up, finding her bandaged up with multiple IVs in her, yet 4 armed guards around her bed. Rob warns if anything happens that isn't for treatment purposes, he will have to get angry. The guards get twitchy, so the doctor asks Rob to leave.
Rob is dressing for war, saying he is going for a walk to Sonny and he will blast down the doors if they don't let him. Director waiting for him at the check-out desk, implied threat against Rob and his friends by the Director, oh boy. Rob is going after Dr. Brennan to give her a taste of her own medicine.
Dr. Carter talked to Mallory about what is going on in the MCO. Great, anti-mutant, and tow the MCO line or else for politicians, no wonder things got so bad in the 15 years to Gen 1. Great, bringing up Tara and many won't have sympathy for her due to the death of her family, already off to a bad start. Great, Mr. Giles's case is being seen as an open and shut case already, along with Dr. Carter's just being a violent mugging. Trying to get real evidence of the MCO's corruption, oh boy. Dr. Carter has his work cut out for him, while Franky is on the verge of murdering someone for what happened to Tara. Things are just getting worse.
Thank You for the story comments appreciated and help me know they are being read and liked.
Note: My story comments can't nor are trying to replace reading the stories, simply my way of enjoying them and letting the authors know I enjoy them.
The following user(s) said Thank You: null0trooper
Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.
28 Dec 2021 05:39 #1044
by Dreamer
Thank You for the story comments appreciated and help me know they are being read and liked. Note: My story comments can't nor are trying to replace reading the stories, simply my way of enjoying them and letting the authors know I enjoy them.
Replied by Dreamer on topic A Good Man by Domoviye
SPOILER ALERT
Below is a stream of conscious commentary I type up as I read the story. There will be details from the story included in it. If you have not read the story yet and don't wish to have details of it spoiled, read no further.
A Good Man Part 3 comments
The on-duty nurse just stopped Franky from tearing Enrico apart.
A former test subject in an MCO testing facility. *string of expletives* Just a biker who is H1! in the area, no sign of their target, good. Molotov into the town hall, and turns the rally into a full-blown riot, attacks on police and city hall, good, let the bigots show their real colors. And the biker did it on purpose to mess with the MCO's plan, bwahaha.
Calm in the chaos stands Headmistress Carson to greet Ben and his father.
Built for running and trapped inside, this place is a nightmare for Sonny. These psycho guards attacked Sonny for no reason! Broken knee, now arm, these guards need to be dealt with already. Demonstration! He is just a kid, you sick f**ks! And threaten to murder him like that if he doesn't lie to cover for them, they need the Dr. Brennan treatment.
Carter is furious seeing what has been done to Sonny, but outwardly calm and asks Sonny what happened. No matter what Sonny says he fell down stairs, those psychopaths made him so afraid for his life he won't tell on them. All these guards just so they can attack the kids when they are alone, the Director and these guards enrage me. Brennan kept highly detailed records, photographs, and more, of what she did to Tara. *tries to hold down, having just eaten, merely thinking about what was done to Tara*
*eyes bug out and nearly pop out of head* What are those songbirds? And a reminder to never make the Burgermeister angry, if he finds out Director Brown is the one who murdered Dr. Carter I believe Director Brown's days would be numbered. Karedonia, a safe place from the MCO for sure. Why he doesn't work with Dr. Diabolik anymore, I would like to hear.
A great story, showing how the actions of even one good man can make a difference. If not to the world at least for 1 or more people whose lives are better thanks to them. Meeting Tara, Dr. Anthony Carter, Nora, Dr. Brennan, and Director Brown. Franky, Victor, Rob, Sonny, Jason, Ben, and finding out David was more than he appeared at first.
I loved the kids, Dr. Carter, Franky, David, and the other nice characters in the story. But going even over my commentary for parts 1 and 2, I would be repeating myself a lot with how much I wish I could get at Director Brown, Dr. Brennan, and the scumbag guards who treated the kids like nothing but lab rats to be abused as they pleased and thrown away when they were finished. When making antagonists who we are supposed to hate you went above and beyond in this story.
I'm just glad it had a mostly happy ending with Franky and the kids escaping to Karedonia. I hope there is justice for Dr. Carter someday, and that those files get released eventually.
Below is a stream of conscious commentary I type up as I read the story. There will be details from the story included in it. If you have not read the story yet and don't wish to have details of it spoiled, read no further.
A Good Man Part 3 comments
Warning: Spoiler!
Franky is furious over what has been done to Tara and wants vengeance. Guards getting away with attacking Franky like this, smirking at him, I want to see them get their just desserts. They were ready to attack him again, these scumbags have no decency at all. Tara is in that bad of shape and Enrico, one of the guards, holds Franky back from her because she is a dangerous murderer, ugh.MCO research lab #5, Northern Michigan
October 31st, 1991
Early Evening
The on-duty nurse just stopped Franky from tearing Enrico apart.
Enrico, I hope you end up crippled for life or worse when this is all over and done with, you monster. Dr. Brenna too. I would have attacked Enrico, at least Dr. Carter's new nurse along with David stop Franky from doing something he might regret. Plus their words against the guards on who instigated the fight, good.“We're going to induce a rage in the morning, she should be strong enough to survive it then,” the nurse said. “That will have her up on her feet in just a few minutes.”
“Great!” Enrico said, clapping his hands together. “Dr. Brennan has a bunch of new experiments to try tomorrow.”
I like her, I see why Dr. Carter hired her. They have to get Tara out of this place, using the fact she killed while in a rage to keep her locked up and used for inhuman experiments is sickening in the least.The nurse patted Franky's shoulder. “Good job, but next time hit him harder, he's still breathing,” she whispered, before following the guards.
They all know the situation they are in, but not much they can do about it without being sent to prison for fighting back. Rob, Leroy, Denise, even the psychopath Jason is there, oh boy. Rob, don't use your power on the others, especially not Jason. This is going to lead to trouble.Near MCO research lab #5, Northern Michigan
Late Evening
Dr. Carter in that much pain still, ouch. And he wants to get back to the research station that soon, dedicated man, I just hope the darker elements there don't try and eliminate him again.Detroit
November 1st, 1991
Before Dawn
Crud, stirring a crowd into a mob screaming for blood, blaming all mutants for what happened instead of those actually involved in the fight, who is this woman?New York State
Mid-morning
A plant designed to do just that and targetting a known mutant, tracking him so they can murder the poor individual in cold blood, a sick bunch of sociopaths. An undercover MCO agent and they are targetting the kid's parents as well! *sees red*“Tango, this is Cash,” an observer spoke into a walkie-talkie from the top of a nearby building, “M.M. did her job a little too well, the mob is looking for blood. Where is the mutant?”
“I lost visual twenty minutes ago, had to back off to avoid spooking them, but the tracker is working. He should be at your location in just under a minute,” his partner said.
A former test subject in an MCO testing facility. *string of expletives* Just a biker who is H1! in the area, no sign of their target, good. Molotov into the town hall, and turns the rally into a full-blown riot, attacks on police and city hall, good, let the bigots show their real colors. And the biker did it on purpose to mess with the MCO's plan, bwahaha.
Victor having to regrow new hands, eep. Tara having her rage induced so he can recover, this is going to get hairy. A small cannon and they can't strap her down, nurse Dave is going to have to be quick. *eyes bug out* Tara is a terror when raging. The description of how Tara is ripping the door apart, what is happening to her as she does, is like something out of a horror movie.MCO research lab #5, Northern Michigan
That close to getting out, yikes. Keypad with code to do all that, just what other mutants have they had there such measures were needed?A quick check proved they wouldn't be opening the door without a cutting torch
I want to put Dr. Brennan through the exact same torture she put Tara through, she deserves nothing less and so much more.“Stay away from me!” he shouted, as she crawled towards him.
She threw herself onto his bed, clutching him tightly. “Don't let them hurt me! Don't let them hurt me! Don't let them hurt me!” she sobbed, pushing her face into his chest.
Not sure what to do, he wrapped his arms around her as the medical staff watched helplessly.
Director Brown showed up at Dr. Carter's office, not expecting him back on his feet so soon.Noon
I still suspect Director Brown was behind the attack on Dr. Carter. Retired at the end of the year, MCO tries to remove anyone sympathetic to mutants from their ranks. A devise to detect bugs and eavesdroppers, nice.“Almost killing a patient, allowing another one to burn his hands off, having most of the research staff sent away, what else should I call it?”
The Director loomed over Carter, trying to use his size to intimidate him. “We're getting proper replacements for the researchers. Ones who are more in line with the MCO mission.”
Ouch, Ben seeing students having it rough when first arriving at Whateley.Whateley
Early afternoon
Just how bad were things even at Whateley back then?Everywhere he looked, he didn't see the happy and nervous faces he'd expect to see at a school, but fear, anger, loss, hatred, as if the school was under siege. Following their escort, his father wheeled him into a building called Schuster and the sense of foreboding got worse.
A crisis, they had a flood of new students show up who were no longer safe at home because of the fallout from the Fool's Fight, am I right?“How are we supposed to do this newest batch of power testing? We're still trying to get the last group through their testing?” a man in a lab coat demanded.
“I know this is difficult,” a white haired woman wearing an expensive looking suit said, “but this is a crisis, we have to pull it together.”
Calm in the chaos stands Headmistress Carson to greet Ben and his father.
I hope in the meantime none of the kids at the research center end up dead. By the looks of the other kids in the group Ben is going to be in Hawthorne, isn't he?“I've had my people contact the parents of your friends, but until they take their children from the MCO my hands are tied. I'm sorry, Ben.”
David meeting with Dr. Carter, wishing he could have done more for Tara. I hope Dr. Carter can stop all this, and that Tara survives to escape this nightmare facility.MCO research lab #5, Northern Michigan
Late Afternoon
Dr. Brennan pleased with herself, knowing Dr. Carter will be gone by January, I forget if she was behind the attack or not, but I wouldn't put it past her. An attacker in a ski mask with a knife, talking about Rob saying how Brennan is a rabid dog thus needs to be put down. Pretty sure it is Jason, he wants to have some fun with her first before he kills her, this is going to get the rest of the kids in trouble at this rate.Near MCO research lab #5, Northern Michigan
Evening
The Director is there, angry, and tells Sonny to leave the room so he can demand answers from Rob. He wants to know how Rod did something, not even stating what he thinks he did, good grief. He punches Rob for his cheeky answer, reveals Dr. Brennan is dead, Rob's response gets him punched by the Director again, what a brute. Accusations, threats by the guards with their guns, yet no proof. And punished despite all that, the Director is a petty, power-mad bully.MCO research lab #5, Northern Michigan
November 2nd, 1991
Early morning
Carter confronts Rob about behaving, trying to get him not to act for the next few weeks.Mid-morning
This is going to blow up in all their faces at this rate.“Don't worry, doc. I'm being very careful right now, and I won't do anything stupid. But if you don't do something fast, I will.
Sonny training his muscles to slow down by strapping 50 lbs. weights to each limb, yikes, I hope it works. A hamster wheel, at least the therapist has a sense of humor. The Streak, oh boy, wait till he hears the Ray Stevens song, that will change his mind on that codename fast. Sonny, listen to your therapist on this one. Dallas may be your home, but if a superhero like Grit can be put in the hospital by H1! bigots then it isn't safe for any mutant right now. Lunatics in New York, whoa, the big team in New York weren't established yet.Early Afternoon
Built for running and trapped inside, this place is a nightmare for Sonny. These psycho guards attacked Sonny for no reason! Broken knee, now arm, these guards need to be dealt with already. Demonstration! He is just a kid, you sick f**ks! And threaten to murder him like that if he doesn't lie to cover for them, they need the Dr. Brennan treatment.
Carter is furious seeing what has been done to Sonny, but outwardly calm and asks Sonny what happened. No matter what Sonny says he fell down stairs, those psychopaths made him so afraid for his life he won't tell on them. All these guards just so they can attack the kids when they are alone, the Director and these guards enrage me. Brennan kept highly detailed records, photographs, and more, of what she did to Tara. *tries to hold down, having just eaten, merely thinking about what was done to Tara*
At least the nurses and doctors are looking out for Victor after what happened to Sonny. Rob's siren abilities are impressive, communicating with Victor directly into his ear by subvocalizing from my guess. A breakout, oh boy. I knew the attack on Sonny would escalate plans. Someone as young as Victor going so dark about his own life, he needs a lot of help and fast.November 3rd, 1991
Morning
Franky talking to Carter about his fight with the new guards.Early Afternoon
Ooo, this is getting very interesting.He fought down a growl. “The only reason I haven't quit, is because I'm hoping I can help keep those kids alive just a little bit longer. I don't know what exactly I can do, but if I just leave I won't be able to look at myself in the mirror again.”
Carter nodded, clearly understanding what he was feeling. “How far are you willing to go to help them?”
A box, a teleporting courier.Dr. Carter's Home
Late Evening
I hope this gets released and does some real damage to the MCO, even if it is just for the short-term. And deliver the box to Mr. Mallory, I hope a lot of those involved in this inhuman research gets taken down hard.“I'm not happy about having to jump all around the country, especially so close to the MCO, but I got everything you wanted,” he said, patting his bag. “Eleven files from MCO researchers who looked scared and pissed off.”
Carter wheeling in Sonny, has the devise with him, and reveals the plan to leave the lab tonight for all of them, yay!MCO research lab #5, Northern Michigan
November 4th, 1991
Early Afternoon
Carter going to the Director's office and insist on seeing him, pointing a gun at his secretary, dang. Gets into the Director's office and the Director is being arrogant, saying Carter will spend the rest of his life in prison for this. The man has a gun aimed at you, not antagonizing him would be a good idea, idiot. Destroyed the phone and hurt the Director's hand in one shot, nice. All this so the kids can escape, the Director is arrogant if he thinks a good man would stand by and continue to let these atrocities continue.Evening
Franky chatting with one of the old guards, I hope they don't have to harm Greg. Oh, good, Greg went where Franky wanted him to go without trouble. Knocks out the guard at the security center. Frank is good with the controls of the security center, level 5 emergency. And the guards being left in a confused mess, excellent. Torches the control systems for good measure, no way to fix those now.Franky
Rob, Victor, and Sonny are ready for their parts of the plan, Rob pushing Sonny in his wheelchair, Victor giving cover-fire. Rob, no joking about using Sonny as a shield. Yikes, Rob did that to the guards, his power is scary when used offensively.Victor
Franky lying to the guards he meets while going to meet with the others where Tara is, nice manipulation. David with Tara, Franky there to rescue her, but Tara says she isn't safe, poor girl. Thank you, David, for getting Tara to want to leave this horrible place. 4 doses, each lasting 3 hours, to stop Tara from raging. I hope they can find a way to replicate that or find something safer if that stuff has dangerous side effects for her. The boys are here and time to leave, we can only hope they buy David's story.Franky
Boy, the Director is arrogant about people going to the jail and the kids having been shot, so sure this plan has backfired on Dr. Carter.Dr. Carter
I hope the news of what this place has been doing is released to the news and through them to the public.Finally he said, “I think you'll be surprised. Without you or I, they'll have a difficult time getting control of the systems. And my people won't go down easily.”
An explosion echoed through the building. Carter smiled, “In fact I feel fairly confident they'll win.”
Rob, when someone with combat experience and tactical training is giving you instructions listen to them. Darn, the staircase they need has guards and a barricade. A good plan on how to deal with them hinging on VIctor using his flames to force the guards to take cover, uh oh. It worked, but VIctor burned off his hands again, yikes. And the guards are dead, a bullet through the head each, Victor didn't need to see that.Victor
Franky killed the guards but wished he hadn't needed to. On the run to the main lobby now on a path to the vehicle bay, guards on their tail now. Guards in the main lobby, darn it! The hallway behind them is on fire thanks to Victor, Rob out of juice, trapped between the approaching flames from behind and guards in front. I won't say what I'm thinking.Franky
Rob is hurt by shrapnel from the planter, Victor is on the ground and bleeding from his arm badly, they need help and fast. Tara reliving the memories of what she did while raging the first time, needs help from a psychic psychiatrist. Using a desk as a shield and battering ram against the barricade, even when not raging Tara is very strong. Disarming all those guards and tossing them, not killing them, she can control her rage. Her crying about not killing them made me tear up.Tara
Rob gets to Victor and he is alive if in a lot of pain. *tries to hold back food* Victor's arm... The emergency blast doors too much for Tara to lift without raging, rats. Victor, what did you do to yourself to heat the door enough for Tara to get it open? Please don't let him die after all this.Victor
A mop to knock Victor off the door, his coat to pat down Victor's charred body, Victor nearly killed himself and might still die from what he did. Victor is still alive, lungs still intact, good, he can regenerate from this as long as he doesn't take any more damage or stress to his body. At least I hope he can.Franky
It is all over, Dr. Carter has surrendered. Hehehe, all the 'bad' news for Director Brown, good news for Carter. *eyes turn red with fury* Director Brown murdered Dr. Carter! He will pay for this!Dr. Carter
Franky keeping an eye on everything around them except the lake, Tara seems to be asleep standing up holding the handles of Sonny's wheelchair. A man coming and a freaky flock of birds with him, those songbirds seem like some form of drones. The Burgermeister came to meet Franky, sad to hear of Dr. Carter's fate. His vehicle is a devise that can deal with emergencies, I hope it is up to helping out Victor.Sault Ste. Marie, Michigan
November 6th, 1991
*eyes bug out and nearly pop out of head* What are those songbirds? And a reminder to never make the Burgermeister angry, if he finds out Director Brown is the one who murdered Dr. Carter I believe Director Brown's days would be numbered. Karedonia, a safe place from the MCO for sure. Why he doesn't work with Dr. Diabolik anymore, I would like to hear.
Darn it! Article too hot to publish, MCO the heroes of the moment, arrgggh! And two men who, from the sounds of it, threatened Mr. Mallory, his ex-wife, and son, so he would hand over the files and any copies of it. The whole thing has been buried, the kids were saved but the scum who did it all get away with it. And people wonder why there is so little trust in powerful organizations that keep things secret from the public.November 10th, 1991
New York City
A great story, showing how the actions of even one good man can make a difference. If not to the world at least for 1 or more people whose lives are better thanks to them. Meeting Tara, Dr. Anthony Carter, Nora, Dr. Brennan, and Director Brown. Franky, Victor, Rob, Sonny, Jason, Ben, and finding out David was more than he appeared at first.
I loved the kids, Dr. Carter, Franky, David, and the other nice characters in the story. But going even over my commentary for parts 1 and 2, I would be repeating myself a lot with how much I wish I could get at Director Brown, Dr. Brennan, and the scumbag guards who treated the kids like nothing but lab rats to be abused as they pleased and thrown away when they were finished. When making antagonists who we are supposed to hate you went above and beyond in this story.
I'm just glad it had a mostly happy ending with Franky and the kids escaping to Karedonia. I hope there is justice for Dr. Carter someday, and that those files get released eventually.
Thank You for the story comments appreciated and help me know they are being read and liked.
Note: My story comments can't nor are trying to replace reading the stories, simply my way of enjoying them and letting the authors know I enjoy them.
The following user(s) said Thank You: null0trooper, Dan Formerly Domoviye
Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.
- Dan Formerly Domoviye
-
- Offline
- Author
-
Less
More
- Posts: 262
- Thank you received: 241
28 Dec 2021 06:38 - 28 Dec 2021 06:58 #1045
by Dan Formerly Domoviye
Replied by Dan Formerly Domoviye on topic A Good Man by Domoviye
Great to read your post, as usual it's a joy to see.
In answer to a few of your questions.
Whateley was fairly safe back then, just being EXTREMELY cautious. Many of the students would have friends and family attacked by mobs, police and others, along with those who were personally attacked, so they're taking the current situation very hard. Add in the surge of new students who likely escaped death or maiming by the skin of their teeth, and the majority of students are going to be nervous wrecks.
Ben is going to Hawethorne. The others in his group will be split up into various cottages. They don't have the time or people to do individual cottage tours, so it's a grab bag affair.
Rob knew what he was doing with the Director. If he didn't act like a smart ass, the Director would know something was up. As it is, it's just another, more violent round in their insults and punishments game.
Tara wasn't controlling her rage. She had a dose of the medicine which holds her rage back. She doesn't have that much control of it and never will.
And yes, Burgermeister despite his stupid name is potentially very terrifying, he also has many interesting stories.
I'm glad you liked the characters, I had most of their fates planned right from the start, but a few of them really took off, especially Tara, Rob and David (he came right out of left field as I was writing, something about him and Tara made me want to humanize him).
And when I make evil antagonists, I go heavy on the evil. They may think they have a reason for being how they are, but they're still evil assholes that I want the audience to despise.
And finally, I'm firmly in the belief that a person or a small group can make a difference. It might not be a big difference, but even little things add up. In scifi they keep going on about how if there is time travel, one little change will alter the entire future, while you don't need to wait for a time machine to do the little changes.
Thanks for the commentary, I really enjoyed it.
In answer to a few of your questions.
Whateley was fairly safe back then, just being EXTREMELY cautious. Many of the students would have friends and family attacked by mobs, police and others, along with those who were personally attacked, so they're taking the current situation very hard. Add in the surge of new students who likely escaped death or maiming by the skin of their teeth, and the majority of students are going to be nervous wrecks.
Ben is going to Hawethorne. The others in his group will be split up into various cottages. They don't have the time or people to do individual cottage tours, so it's a grab bag affair.
Rob knew what he was doing with the Director. If he didn't act like a smart ass, the Director would know something was up. As it is, it's just another, more violent round in their insults and punishments game.
Tara wasn't controlling her rage. She had a dose of the medicine which holds her rage back. She doesn't have that much control of it and never will.
And yes, Burgermeister despite his stupid name is potentially very terrifying, he also has many interesting stories.
I'm glad you liked the characters, I had most of their fates planned right from the start, but a few of them really took off, especially Tara, Rob and David (he came right out of left field as I was writing, something about him and Tara made me want to humanize him).
And when I make evil antagonists, I go heavy on the evil. They may think they have a reason for being how they are, but they're still evil assholes that I want the audience to despise.
And finally, I'm firmly in the belief that a person or a small group can make a difference. It might not be a big difference, but even little things add up. In scifi they keep going on about how if there is time travel, one little change will alter the entire future, while you don't need to wait for a time machine to do the little changes.
Thanks for the commentary, I really enjoyed it.
Last edit: 28 Dec 2021 06:58 by Dan Formerly Domoviye.
Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.
28 Dec 2021 21:19 #1051
by Mister D
Replied by Mister D on topic A Good Man by Domoviye
Thank you for writing this.
I re-read parts 1 & 2, before i read the latest chapter, and, it was one of the more difficult things that i've read.
It's a very harsh, and, very realistic, description of how people can behave.
It also gives a good intro to the background seeds of the various factions that exist in the later canon stories.
A harsh, but excellent addition to the Whateley Canon.
I re-read parts 1 & 2, before i read the latest chapter, and, it was one of the more difficult things that i've read.
It's a very harsh, and, very realistic, description of how people can behave.
It also gives a good intro to the background seeds of the various factions that exist in the later canon stories.
A harsh, but excellent addition to the Whateley Canon.
The following user(s) said Thank You: Dan Formerly Domoviye
Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.
- Maladyusted
-
- Offline
- Support
-
Less
More
- Posts: 26
- Thank you received: 8
28 Dec 2021 23:48 - 29 Dec 2021 00:06 #1054
by Maladyusted
Replied by Maladyusted on topic A Good Man by Domoviye
Carter... ... Well, the MCO just lost two good researchers and stuff... That'll set them back a while, hopefully and stuff.
I was worried about the kids up to 'til the end! But yay! They're alive!
And if Tara's got a copy of the chems... Unless the MCO somehow is dealing in DEV drugs, it'll be recreatable...
Woah, Burgermeister, you were something like, two decades ago. Nice!
Mallory... Damn. Mallory. Drunk Reporter Blackmail stuff. Oof.
...
What's your Author profile pic? I assume your Forum one is Scary Tink Cosplay...
...
Also wondering where this MCO facility is on the Worst to Best during this time period... Just in case I need to set something this when...
I was worried about the kids up to 'til the end! But yay! They're alive!
And if Tara's got a copy of the chems... Unless the MCO somehow is dealing in DEV drugs, it'll be recreatable...
Woah, Burgermeister, you were something like, two decades ago. Nice!
Mallory... Damn. Mallory. Drunk Reporter Blackmail stuff. Oof.
...
What's your Author profile pic? I assume your Forum one is Scary Tink Cosplay...
...
Also wondering where this MCO facility is on the Worst to Best during this time period... Just in case I need to set something this when...
Last edit: 29 Dec 2021 00:06 by Maladyusted.
The following user(s) said Thank You: Dan Formerly Domoviye
Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.
- Dan Formerly Domoviye
-
- Offline
- Author
-
Less
More
- Posts: 262
- Thank you received: 241
29 Dec 2021 01:44 #1055
by Dan Formerly Domoviye
Thanks for the comment.
With the drugs for Tara, they have a limited supply and finding someone who can figure out what chemicals are needed and in what amount wouldn't be cheap. So it's unlikely they'll be able to recreate it without a lot of time, effort and funds.
Burgermeisters story is an interesting one, and terrifying.
Mallory only drinks when he's depressed. At that particular moment, he was starting a bender.
My author profile pic is for a character I came up with a while ago that will probably be used in one of my original stories featuring mutants.
My forum pic is actually of my daughter from Halloween in 2020 when she was dressed up as a Japanese ghost girl.
And the MCO lab would be somewhere around the middle, rapidly going downhill.
Replied by Dan Formerly Domoviye on topic A Good Man by Domoviye
Carter... ... Well, the MCO just lost two good researchers and stuff... That'll set them back a while, hopefully and stuff.
I was worried about the kids up to 'til the end! But yay! They're alive!
And if Tara's got a copy of the chems... Unless the MCO somehow is dealing in DEV drugs, it'll be recreatable...
Woah, Burgermeister, you were something like, two decades ago. Nice!
Mallory... Damn. Mallory. Drunk Reporter Blackmail stuff. Oof.
...
What's your Author profile pic? I assume your Forum one is Scary Tink Cosplay...
...
Also wondering where this MCO facility is on the Worst to Best during this time period... Just in case I need to set something this when...
Thanks for the comment.
With the drugs for Tara, they have a limited supply and finding someone who can figure out what chemicals are needed and in what amount wouldn't be cheap. So it's unlikely they'll be able to recreate it without a lot of time, effort and funds.
Burgermeisters story is an interesting one, and terrifying.
Mallory only drinks when he's depressed. At that particular moment, he was starting a bender.
My author profile pic is for a character I came up with a while ago that will probably be used in one of my original stories featuring mutants.
My forum pic is actually of my daughter from Halloween in 2020 when she was dressed up as a Japanese ghost girl.
And the MCO lab would be somewhere around the middle, rapidly going downhill.
Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.
19 Jan 2022 22:22 #1186
by Naldru
Replied by Naldru on topic A Good Man by Domoviye
There is a line in the introduction of an old radio show: "Who knows what evil lurks in the minds of men. The Shadow Knows." It just seems that the way the world is going, we are getting too much of an education on this topic. I guess recent events made me more sensitive.
The following user(s) said Thank You: Dan Formerly Domoviye
Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.
- Dan Formerly Domoviye
-
- Offline
- Author
-
Less
More
- Posts: 262
- Thank you received: 241
19 Jan 2022 22:26 #1187
by Dan Formerly Domoviye
Replied by Dan Formerly Domoviye on topic A Good Man by Domoviye
I tend to use things I see in the modern day in my stories. I try not to be preachy about it, and it has to fit the story, but its often there.
The polarization of the last several years, with ever growing extremism, yeah, it played a big part in this one.
Glad it got through without overpowering the story.
The polarization of the last several years, with ever growing extremism, yeah, it played a big part in this one.
Glad it got through without overpowering the story.
The following user(s) said Thank You: Mister D
Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.
Moderators: DanZilla, Rosalie Redd, Astrodragon, Fiddlerfox, EnemyOfFun, ElrodW, null0trooper, MageOhki, Wasamon, Warren, Morpheus, E. E. Nalley, MaLAguA, Amethyst
Time to create page: 0.081 seconds
