- Forum
- The Classrooms - Story Feedback
- Kirby Hall - The Second Generation
- The Whitmaniacs by Enemyoffun
New? Arriving? (09 Aug 2021)
Required Reading:
If it is stickied, it is stickied for a reason. Please read it.
The Whitmaniacs by Enemyoffun
The Whitmaniacs
Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.
Below is a stream of conscious commentary I type up as I read the story. There will be details from the story included in it. If you have not read the story yet and don't wish to have details of it spoiled, read no further.
The Whitmaniacs comments
Escape
A Whateley Short by Domoviye
Neala going to a school like that, the government should pay for something better if they can for the students. And at least 5 times faster than before she manifested, dang. Snow white hair, fur, and ears like an ermine, so she is taking on the appearance of an anthro weasel of sorts.Northern Ontario
January, 15th, 2016
A reserve, no wonder they have so little funds to build a school building for the students. 8-12th grade all in the same building, yikes. 58 plus teachers in an old portable sound cramped to me. *eyes widen in shock* Best friend killed herself, good lord. Textbooks that old, eep, I wish public education had better funding everywhere. And it sounds like the Chief of the reservation is corrupt, funneling money that should go to help everyone to give himself, his friends, and his family lives of luxury.
The Chief shows up with a white woman, what is going on? Bureaucrats and politicians like that tick me off, I say make them keep their promises by force if necessary. All this because Neala is a mutant, and the way the Chief talks, I really don't like him. Run really fast and turn into an ermine and the way says interesting, crap! This is bad.
In the Council building Neala's parents are waiting, all this fuss because she is an obvious mutant and fairly powerful. Samantha Williams, not sure she is to be trusted. Testing in Thunder Bay and training, hope they tell her parents about Whateley and have a scholarship ready because they can't afford it. Another trip to the city and the government is paying for it, good.
Half an hour on the treadmill tired her out, but she recovered quickly, impressive. Aww, more of a sprinter instead of an endurance runner like most speedsters.Thunder Bay, Ontario
MCO Regional Centre
January 19th, 2016
Just short of 100 mph, down to 40 mph for a minute, then back up to top speed after a second wind, dang.“A hundred-and-sixty kilometres an hour, for just over a minute. Then you slow down to about sixty-five kilometres for a few minutes, before getting another wind and going to full speed again.”
Oof, the skin-tight testing suits, no one likes wearing those. Batoo, cool codename and language origin, To Run in Ojibwe. A course with holograms to dodge as they pop up will be fun. Whoa! Her ability to dodge and maneuver at high speeds is incredible.
Boy, with her ermine form there are going to be few places she can't slip into. Again in her ermine form! *in Bugs Bunny's voice* Ooo, I'm dying again!“That was very good. We'll need to run some more tests, but you are extremely flexible. You could give experienced contortionists a run for their money,” he told her.
Aww, Neala's ermine form is adorable.
Huh, how does her shifter power work? Ms. Perry seems nice. Open doors for Neala as an adult, hhm. Energizer and shifter, nice combination of powers. Uh oh, free education at a boarding school, with the history of schools like that in North America amongst indigenous people isn't a good suggestion.She wasn't really sure how her power worked, just that it seemed to put her in a position she wanted to be in as long as she was trying to do something similar to it in either form.
A fairly high rating and a prime candidate for Whateley, take the offer! The parents say no and get up to leave, but Neala wants to hear the rest. They hear all that from Ms. Perry about the program and all they do to ensure First Nations students are safe, and still say no. Until she brings up Pejuta who graduated in 2009, wait, with a 4 year program shouldn't she be class of 2010 since she started in mid 2006-2007 school year?
And that got their attention, they will hear out Ms. Perry thanks to Kayda going to Whateley and Neala's insistence. Yes, bring up The Nations, a great group for First Nations kids to join and Kayda helped start it.
A new Whitmaniac is here, Neala has arrived. Yeah, the dorm rooms are big, the phone is nice with a lot of great apps already on it, and the laptop will help a lot with schoolwork. Some students complain about how small everything is, either that are big or they come from a well-off or wealthy family. Abigail Helsing is her roommate, so this is Helsing's roommate. With introductions and getting to know each other, Neala needed a place where she could come out of her shell.Whitman Cottage
September 7th, 2016
Whirly Twirly Birdy
A Whateley Short by Wasamon
Monica Lawrence, in Hartford, CA, bundled up to keep warm. What does she have in place of hair/ And why are her parents arguing? Is it because she manifested or is it something else? Amanda, her big sister, and Courtney, her little sister, and how can you not support your sister in her time of need?!?--Saturday, April 16, 2016
Her right arm is throbbing, crud, her parents need to stop arguing and get her to a hospital, as even part of manifesting this sounds serious. Eyelids are different, not unheard of. Aunt Valerie, please let her be more understanding than her parents or sisters have been about her manifesting. Great, Mom called her over but didn't tell her why. Takes off her knit cap and Valerie swears, she is pissed at her sister and the idiot her sister calls a husband.
Valerie thought Ronnie called because she was finally leaving her husband, but no. Minutes later Valerie is taking Monica away from her bigoted family. Finds out Monica's right arm is in pain, and needs to get her looked at soon and adding it to the list of things she is probably going to report her parents about to CPS.
That great ringtone, William Tell Overture is a classic for a reason. On a call to someone and says the reason she went to her sister's place was complicated. Does Monica's arm hurt because of what her father did to her or is it part of her mutation? Nick is to meet them at Valerie's place and have a look at Monica, guessing he has medical training.
Why does Monica know so little about her aunt Valerie, what kind of resentment does her sister have towards her to keep their aunt out of her nieces' lives so completely? Nice apartment complex and Nick lives there as well, or has keys to Valerie's place. Ah, her aunt's boyfriend or husband, not sure which. And he is a mutant with four pupils in two eye sockets, I wonder what kind of powers he has.
Nice to see he has a sense of humor about it. 3 weeks since she started to manifest and her parents did nothing to help, ugh. Arms and legs like sticks, so skinny she has to wear Courtney's clothes."Mutant, obviously," said Nick. "It's just the eyes, really. Nothing cool or flshy. I did get the codename Bifocals for my MID, for what it's worth.
Great, anti-mutant bigots who taught even their youngest child to be a bigot too. Valerie showed up with Nick to a New Year's Eve party years ago and they showed how bigoted they were, no wonder Valerie cut all contact off with them.Because it was dirty. Because she was dirty. Not in any way that soap and water could fix, but maybe worse. Her family certainly thought so.
His eyes can shift between settings and can see all that on one setting, he could replace multiple medical scanning machines with those eyes of his. Inflammation, swelling, and hairline fracture on her lower right arm, no wonder she is in such pain. A medical school student, I knew it. Valerie is a legal secretary, and both have impressive jobs. Flirting like that in front of Monica, she has to nap hard every 6 hours, the changes she is going through are brutal."Adipose tissue is remarkably thin," he commented. "Muscle tone, moderate. Bones showing signs of osteoporosis--"
Monica is already awake as the first light of dawn comes shining in through the blinds. Naps hard, but fully rested afterward, I would love that. Her ears burning red from the paperback she is reading, sounds like Aunt Valerie has some Harlequin romance novels lying around. Valerie thought she dumped all of them, seems she missed at least one. Interesting and educational, hah.
Mutant power testing already, boy, the guy Nick knows works fast. No shampoo, but just vaguely pointed bumps so far, sounds like something is growing in. Based on her other changes and the title of this story, she is growing feathers and taking on a bird-based GSD. Monica finds out she is ambidextrous at breakfast, a very handy ability to have. Oof, hit by the need to nap that soon after they start driving.
Ooo, a doctor who sees early breakthrough cases and can get her arm seen to, Nick knows some interesting people. Changes fronts regularly, either they are illegal or the local officials are corrupt and try to harass the doctor's mutant patients. Dr. Wilfred Flamel...blinks...if that is his real last name and not a cover identity I will be shocked.
Now that is a hidden clinic, the entrance like something out of a spy movie. Nurse Ravi certainly stands out, is her GSD based on a predatory fish of some sort? Nice greeting from her, friendly, just what a nurse should be to guests in a clinic. What is Raelynn's Law? I'm guessing it came about due to abusive parents and extended family who tried to protect a child, but the law wasn't on their side at the time.
Ack! Doctor's office forms, the pain, the pain. Whoever her mother brought her to wasn't a good doctor for mutants to see just based on what Monica went through. Lava lamps, I haven't seen one of those in person in years. That hair, is Dr. Flamel a mutant himself? Okay, the electricity and glasses answer that question. Nick's last name is Toole, there is a last name I've never heard before.
No powers shown so far, a stress fracture not from an injury by her father. *eyes bug out* Monica is strong enough to do that and that is what her parents were arguing over, he should have let her go to her room. Ouch, exerted too much force for her body to take as it is still changing. I can't tell if that machine is a gadgeteer creation or a devise. And so comfortable she fell asleep immediately, if that is a gadget he should make beds designed like the seat, they would sell like hotcakes.
PK field, so that is the source of her strength. Ah, the old telekinesis vs. psychokinesis misunderstanding. Heh, not all powers appear just like that, at full strength on the first day. If they did we would have a lot more stories of disasters involving new mutants wrecking things, unintentionally harming people, etc. I knew it, she is growing feathers on her head. Aww, Monica, you don't need to hide, you are far from the most unusual mutant out there.
Her PK is keeping the fracture perfectly set, now that is a nice perk, though I wish it wasn't because she is fragile without her PK reinforcing her. Oh, good, so it won't always be like this. I hope it doesn't take the whole 4 years at Whateley for more of her PK to be freed up for its other functions. Put out of inquiries, Dr. Flamel is a nice man, I wish he could operate in the open and help more people.
Ack! Fireproof lab coat, a patient with flame-based powers, at least Dr. Flamel is prepared. So much paperwork...*eyes start to swim along with Monica's* Talon and claw hygiene, please no, hasn't Monica gone through enough already!
Ravi sounds like she is speaking from personal experience."I don't advise you to trust anyone who won't at least offer to show it to you. What you do not know about your legal status will indeed hurt you. But let's get to the things Monica can help with. Codename?"
Monica needs a hug so bad, her immediate family has left her a wreck. Come down for a hug, Monica floated up to almost hit the ceiling without even realizing it. Flight is confirmed in a big way. Just under 40 lbs! Her bones are hollow like a bird's now, aren't they?
Valerie, are you doing this to make Monica angry so she will stop being upset about what she has lost? Whirlibird, cute codename. Monica, she is right, good codenames are hard to find that aren't already in use."Okay then. Okay. If it looks like a bird and flaps like a bird and is so skinny it must eat like a bird--"
"Hey!" she protested.
She napped through them taking her physical measurements, now that is tired. G-Burger, never heard of them. More calcium, stat, you need to get those high-dose supplements for Monica. Her mom talks to her daughters like that, that is a form of emotional abuse! Fad-diet sites, Ronnie is an idiot who needs to be checked for mental issues imo. Valerie has such fun expressions to use.
Nick outdid himself. A sofa bed, a small dresser, and a small bookshelf almost half full.
He isn't kidding about that first part, helping those in need should be a part of everyone's culture, but those two are best known for it. Aww, Monica, it still hurts to think about how your parents and sisters abandoned you. It will take time to confront your feelings on it, take as much time as you need. Good mix of books, Nick's relatives are good people. Oh boy, when Monica gets to Whateley and sees actual guys who fit the stereotype of the Harlequin romance novel adventurers her head is going to be spinning from trying to watch them all."You know the family. All Irish on Dad's side, Italian on Mom's -- my ancestors practically invented crowdfunding. So I put the word out last night that we had an emergency border situation, young teen, extra small sizes, and this morning I made the rounds to pick up whatever was available. My mother's expecting us over for her Sunday night leftovers buffet, by the way."
Track Meet
A Whateley Short by Wasamon
Avsel Goran runs and tries not to think how it isn't her feet she is running with. Karkadann, ah, I remember her now, an avatar with the spirit of a Persian counterpart of unicorns that loves to run. Sahar recommended Whateley and so Avsel went there. Arriving at the start of the summer period, so that is why it seems so empty compared to normal. Learning English without tutors knowing your native language, harsh.--June 15, 2016
A spirit that likes to be free and run, how in the world is she going to sit long enough in classes to learn like this? Her comfort speed is 40 kph on average, will she race Batoo eventually? She gets to run all-out on the tracks meant for cars, just what is her top speed? Aww, these kids should open up to each other about the reasons they can't go home during summer or other vacations from school. Make a support group for each other.
A speedster with a shaven head making unpleasant faces at Avsel, don't tell me we have a Skinhead racist. Hydration is important for anyone who burns through a lot of energy fast, speedsters, energizers of any sort, probably exemplars need more than most like they do food. The Aouns are a good host family, such a nice gift for Avsel. A decal of Rainbow Dash on it, a favorite of Kitiana, aww.
Pedicure kit with stuff for Avsel's horse-like feet. Good classes for a student with feet like hers to have. A call to her to wait up, a girl in a runner's outfit and having stripped fur, tufted ears on top of her head, and sharp teeth, we have a catgirl. Daronnica Jonson aka Serval is here to ask if Avsel has thought about joining the Whateley Track and Field team. Swerve is nervous trying to talk to Serval and she thinks he isn't straight. She won't date anyone who can pass for normal, talks of sticking together, great.
Oh no, Serval thinks she can teach Avsel to dress for speed, but doesn't know the culture she comes from or the kind of dress she is used to. She is content in her modest clothes, and that should be good enough for anyone else. Serval! Calling it a head rag and swiping it off her head is very disrespectful.
She wasn't hiding those features on her head because she isn't proud to be a mutant, Serval has no respect for others who might feel different about things than she does. Running off with her hijab scarf and saying to catch her, Serval will regret this. Two speedsters in a race, I hope Avsel outclasses Serval and humiliates her. She can turn her momentum into a powerful leap like that, Avsel is even more impressive than I previously thought.
Who is Unique and why would she be pissed about Avsel being a unicorn of any sort? Serval, you blew it. You treated another person's culture and personal choice flippantly and thought you could force her to be like you. You are lucky Avsel simply said goodbye and left. And Avsel is a good person, apologizing for damage to the lawns.
Into The Void
A Whateley Short by Enemyoffun
Samantha is woken up by her mother. Super overprotective, smothering at times, single parents due to father ditching before Samantha was even born, yikes. Abandoned by her parents for getting pregnant as a teen, then they were never really parents imo. 16 when she got pregnant with Samantha, oof.September 2016---Near Buffalo NY
Took in by her Great Aunt who helped raise Samantha, mom is the manager of a bank.
Good grief, let your daughter live her own life and stop acting like she is a little copy of you.Unfortunately, somewhere along the way, she decided she knew what was best regardless of my input. It started small but as I got older, it got worse. It hit full time nuclear crazy when I hit my teens. She would never openly admit it, but I think she was afraid I would make the same mistakes as her.
Her father tried to push her mom to have an abortion and ditched her when she refused, what a sleezebag. Samantha does everything to be invisible. But then something happened. Pale pink hair and crystal blue eyes, she manifested, uh oh. At least she manifested at home and got rushed to the hospital when her mom could her passed out. Mom trying to get Samantha ready for Whateley Academy and is in a rush because she got bullied by Brody and his friend when she went to school because she is a mutant.
They attacked her at a pro-mutant rally, oh god, I can't believe I forgot her name. This is the girl Riley had to stop her psycho ex and his friends from beating to death. They did that much damage that fast, Riley really did save her life from those psychos. And now in a rush to get to the airport for her flight, mom probably wants to be there extra early. A noise canceling field, and she can focus it just around her body now, I want it!
A car ride in silence, only grass, trees, and cows to see. Mom wanted to punish Riley, but Riley realized her mistake and saved Samantha at risk to herself, why can't she see that? Riley is a teen who made a stupid mistake but made up for it. Riley manifesting to save Samantha's life, and how things would have been different if Riley hadn't acted that day. Whateley is safer than in a city with an active branch of Humanity First! who are willing to go as far as Brody and his friends did.
Aww, from earlier I thought her mom was overprotective like Samantha thinks, but considering all she has gone through her mom is dealing with trauma she never processed properly. Special Agent Shepard, just how many mutants has he helped now? Oh brother, the guard at the special station for mutants at the airport. Mom finally crying and Samantha can see, you shouldn't be afraid to show your emotions.
A 2nd security checkpoint and it is just a one-hour fight, I would rest my eyes. Eep, the one probably with traveling by bus, the creeps you might meet at the stops. At an eatery, a creep harasses her. A guy who doesn't like to take no for an answer is someone who needs a harsh lesson imo. A girl Samantha's age shows up, very tall and strong-looking, yay. If the guy is 6 foot or something and his face comes to below this girl's breasts, she has to be over 7 and a half feet tall. Hispanic.
The guy is scared away and the girl suddenly shrinks and her muscles fade away, now shorter than the creep she scared off. Amaya can be a little blunt, but she has good intentions. Time for Void to tell what she can do, and a new friend has been made.
New Shoes
A Whateley Short by Domoviye
Dawn-Renae aka Toison is not very happy. Goat legs, hooves, and horns, but she got magic out of the deal. Ouch, having to get her hoof checked out at the stables and think it makes her not human because of her feet. 'Foot Care Centre' sure is different than even I expected.Whateley Stables
September, September 7, 2016 – Morning
Ms. Peters has a son named Elliot. Who is the father? Toison finds out Ms. Peters is a centaur, I wonder how many students are stunned into silence upon first meeting her. Running around without shoes when you have hooves is a good thing, interesting. Ah, needing shoes for running on ice, makes sense. Hoof care should be a required course for any student with hooves. *winces* I can't believe some students would do that to their hooves, those are a part of your body now!
Carebear Cares
A Whateley Short by Null0trooper
Esencia de Santiago, is an interesting girl, Grumpy Bear gives no hints as to the nature of her powers though. Enhanced senses, are a blessing and a curse when you realize all the things you can sense you couldn't before. Her roommate is Martine, an energizer.Early Saturday morning, October 15,
Whitman Cottage.
Perky Bear in the morning, is that a nickname, what is her codename? Tabbie, suggests that to ease cramps, does that actually work?
Friend Bear vibes, okay, now I'm getting powers based on the Carebears vibe. Tenderheart, Funshine, is this part of her personality or the nature of her powers? Dr. Tenent pops in, please let those pills out. Care-Bear is her codename. And that patient is a pervert, hitting on her in that way while he is cut from broken glassware. *blinks* Her power can heal pathogens already at work in a human body, yikes.Doyle Medical Clinic.
She works fast and effectively, her healing power forcing out the glass slivers before closing the wound is awesome. Lost shot records trick, so that is why they gave him the tetanus vaccine. All good reasons to pull that trick on him.
mage
A Whateley Short by Domoviye
Penny Dreadful and Shisa, oh boy, I don't think Penny Dreadful is going to work as teammates. Bwahaha, Penny doesn't know what Shisa is capable of or she would know that her manifested zombie Jonathon will be toast with one swipe of Shisa's PK claws. Oops, she just saw Shisa's MID and realized what a threat she is up again.Wednesday Morning, December 7, 2016,
Underclassmen Combat Finals, Arena 77, Whateley Academy.
Supervillain: Parole, Penny doesn't know that Shisa has killed before or how deadly she can be. Those techniques are just the surface of what she can bring out. Don't make her fear for her life, don't threaten her friends, and don't back her into a corner or else. Even with Jonathon buffed up as much as you can it still won't stand up to Shisa.
Instructions on the combat final, are the same as all the previous ones this semester so far. Penny wants to work together with Shisa, she is terrified of her. But Shisa grins and says no, she is easily the scariest student currently at Whateley.
Penny and her zombies look for the pick-up point, while Shisa gets to a rooftop and finds the pair of punks waiting to ambush someone. TK pushed to send them flying, bouncing, and then landing in a dumpster. 5 seconds, if that doesn't scare anyone off who was thinking about messing with Shisa they are fools or arrogant.
The bum goes after Penny only to be taken out by her zombies. A car crash and sirens in the distance, what did Shisa do?
The students and some teachers are in stunned silence watching this, now you see how dangerous she is. You gave her a place to cut loose, with no living beings to harm, and she is taking advantage of it to have her kind of "fun".A car carrying four armed gunmen crashed into a bus, with two of it's tires slashed. A minute earlier a potential ambusher had been thrown up thirty feet up into the air, thrown again, and again, and again until he was high enough to hit the forcefield at high speed and fall back to the ground.
A generic flying superhero flies overhead leaving Penny to wonder what Shisa is doing.
Shisa tears up a gang while they shoot at random not knowing who is attacking them. Welp, the leader is dead and another member is literally disarmed. The superhero hits Shisa with an energy blast and it seems to hit, but she is unharmed and escapes while killing another gang member, the superhero in pursuit.
Penny runs out of the apartment building, package in hand, but the area is in chaos with sirens, gunshots, screams, and more superheroes there now in a search for Shisa. Shisa leaps across the street in front of Penny with the police in pursuit but they are stopped by a TK wall. Penny wants to get away from Shisa, dismisses her zombies, and summons a zombie pony to ride out of there.
Penny is in sight of the drop-off point, easy A, but suddenly her horse's head is lopped off. Caught by Shisa, another zombie summoned and destroyed immediately, Shisa wants the box and Penny drops it. Only to be flung into the sky, dropped, caught, dropped, then caught by a TK slide and land on the roof of a building. Hears the buzzer as Shisa wins and Penny peed herself in terror.
Debriefing room, Penny has a borrowed pair of sweatpants. Good lord, Shisa, you didn't have to go through all that. Shisa let Penny carry the package and did all that just because they were ANTs and she wanted to let off some stress. An F, yet she will still pass Survival class, Shisa learned nothing, no wonder Tolman is furious.
Penny gets an A-, she did everything right including when faced with Shisa and fearing for her life. Penny flees before Tolman can rip into Shisa, smart move. Happy with her wins and still caring about image, she only learned to fear Shisa and nothing else, darn it.
Playing with Fire
A Whateley Short by Amethyst
Becky Wheeler aka Fairyfire, is annoyed that so many she wanted to join her Elemental Dance club have already been snatched up by other clubs. She wanted Gwen Carter and Lily Pond just because they were in the news and would bring attention to the club, bad reason to want them. Sprite joined as a favor to a friend, aww. Plumeria aka Oriana, sounds like she has perfume-based or scent-based powers. Scamper, cute codename.Friday January 13th, 2017
5:54 P.M.
Whitman Cottage - Attic - Room 411
Dazzle Girl, has light-based powers from the sound of it. Just how many members do you need to be an official club? Oh no, trying to recruit Thulia. I want to know who the anonymous person who got the headmaster to not call in the MCO and have Gouyasse dragged off for attempted murder is!
Becky hasn't seen Thulia since Winter break ended, I hope this isn't bad news. Heh, Becky knows that Morgana is dating Thulia, is it public knowledge now? Still wants to get to know Thulia and be friends even if she doesn't join her club, Becky, go with that thought. Clover Rozic aka Weed, yay! Weed is at Whateley. Rumors about Clover after a fight with the Dawg Pound, plant growth, and control can be potent in a skilled wielder's hands.
Weed isn't on the Whitman freshman floor, then where is she living? Calling it a club for pretties just because a girl who is a SIdhe started it isn't nice. Lilith, GSD that looks more than a little demonic. Imp proves that won't hold you back from finding love. Lilith graduated last year, performing in the Last Freak Show in Austin, Texas. Becky, you don't need to make it big with your club to make it big in the world outside of Whateley.
In a rush to get dinner and who should she bump into, but Clover. Clover is a beauty. Ah, Clover was sunbathing and is a bit hyper right now. So that is where Clover is, in the attic in her mom's old room so she can have a skylight to get sunlight through. Aww, Clover, you should be more confident in yourself, people will love to talk to you. So help me, if CLover has been being bullied due to her GSD I wish I could teach those bullies a lesson.
Aww, Clover, I'm sure with some practice and training you will be a great dancer. Becky is so friendly about all this, trying to encourage Clover to do more, but not being pushy about it. Join on a trial basis, I hope Clover comes to love it and it helps her come out of her shell. Ouch, buying a winter coat with those kinds of limitations must suck. Something enchanted to keep Clover warm, Becky just became her friend and already is going to help out Clover a lot.
I understand why Vanessa is a shut-in. Sudden gender change, size-change, turned into basically a twin of her ex as revenge and stuck that way, her bigot family abandoning her. The fact she is still alive and has made friends with Becky shows progress, slow, but still progress. Shannon, and possibly Polly, so Vanessa has 3 friends.
Ouch, Vanessa defaults to snark, she needs to learn how to talk with friends and other people better. Clover is a girl after my own in taste, bacon double cheeseburger with large fries, yum. Ouch, Vanessa still changing and can't eat meat anymore. Becky gets a chance to chat with Thulia finally. Aww, ask if she is okay first, Thulia is fully recovered and even brought her own costume to dance in.
Morgana agrees to help with the technical stuff, especially since she will get to watch Thulia dance. And Vic volunteers to put out fires, wanting to watch pretty girls dance as well. Enough people to start the club now, and Becky has big plans for it.
Great stories, everyone. It was nice meeting new characters and seeing others again to catch up with them.
It was great meeting Neala aka Batoo and finally knowing who Helsing's roommate is. She is an interesting girl and I hope we see more of her in the future as she seems like fun.
The origin story of Monica aka Whirlibird. I can't believe such a nice, sweet girl came from a family like hers. I'm so glad her Aunt Valerie and Nick are there for her, got her to see Dr. Flamel and Nurse Ravi, and that she has people who care about her to get her through this.
Avsel is a nice girl who is proud of her culture and dresses how she wishes to. I respect her for that. Serval should have as well instead of forcing her own ideals onto another person. I hope Serval doesn't become an issue that Avsel has to deal with in the future.
Samantha aka Void, is the girl Riley saved after she realized what she had done. I always wondered what happened to her, if she was okay, and what she looked like to provoke such hatred from the anti-mutant bigots. I'm glad her side of the story was told finally and we got to get to know her. I hope she gets to meet up with Riley at Whateley and work things out.
Dawn aka Toison, shows one area where Whateley needs to step up. Every student with hooves should automatically be put in a class on hoof care at the start of the school year. I'm so glad Ms. Peters was able to help her out and make Dawn feel better about herself. Plus Ms. Peters' son is adorable.
Care-Bear, now she is an interesting one. We know she is a healer, but what is with referring to acting like different Carebears? Is that part of her personality, part of her mutation, or something else?
Shisa, we knew she was dangerous, but this just put the whole school on notice to not mess with the girl as she can tear apart armies if given a chance. Seriously, it is only second in the most messed up combat final to Gen 1 between Counterpoint and Just Me. Penny Dreadful, if she learned nothing else I hope she learned to never underestimate another of her classmates based on persumptions again.
Becky aka Fairyfire, I like her, she has a passion for her club and what she wants to do, but also cares about others. So glad to see Vanessa and Clover start to come out of their shells. And so happy Thulia doesn't have any lasting problems due to what Gouyasse did to her.
I hope we get to see each of these characters again in future stories.
Thank You for the story comments appreciated and help me know they are being read and liked. Note: My story comments can't nor are trying to replace reading the stories, simply my way of enjoying them and letting the authors know I enjoy them.
Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.
- Dan Formerly Domoviye
- Offline
- Author
- Posts: 288
- Thank you received: 253
I just commented on my stories with a quick comment on one that I helped inspire.
Keep up the commentary, it's always a joy to read.
Corruption on some reserve, mixed with incompetence and far too much red tape in the government bureaucracy has left some reserves looking like impoverished 3rd world countries. Living near two reserves and talking to quite a few Natives from around Northern Ontario, I've seen and heard it first hand.
Escape
A Whateley Short by Domoviye
A reserve, no wonder they have so little funds to build a school building for the students. 8-12th grade all in the same building, yikes. 58 plus teachers in an old portable sound cramped to me. *eyes widen in shock* Best friend killed herself, good lord. Textbooks that old, eep, I wish public education had better funding everywhere. And it sounds like the Chief of the reservation is corrupt, funneling money that should go to help everyone to give himself, his friends, and his family lives of luxury.
The Chief shows up with a white woman, what is going on? Bureaucrats and politicians like that tick me off, I say make them keep their promises by force if necessary.
Fortunately some reserves are pretty good. The two near me have really improved in the last decade or two.
I always thought that tight clothing would suck for most people with fur. Having a tight skin tight suit, UGH!Oof, the skin-tight testing suits, no one likes wearing those. Batoo, cool codename and language origin, To Run in Ojibwe. A course with holograms to dodge as they pop up will be fun. Whoa! Her ability to dodge and maneuver at high speeds is incredible.
Boy, with her ermine form there are going to be few places she can't slip into. Again in her ermine form! *in Bugs Bunny's voice* Ooo, I'm dying again!“That was very good. We'll need to run some more tests, but you are extremely flexible. You could give experienced contortionists a run for their money,” he told her.
And I was looking for a name that implied speed that hadn't been used. Going with Ojibwe worked and fit the story.
Having seen an ermine running around a hotel several nights in a row, those things are fast, can spin on a dime and squeeze into cracks they have no right getting into. Making her a contortionist was appropriate and a nice twist.
And I was hoping her flopping to the ground would get a laugh.
Yeah, I was thinking of potential short story ideas and this jumped out at me right away.Ms. Perry seems nice. Open doors for Neala as an adult, hhm. Energizer and shifter, nice combination of powers. Uh oh, free education at a boarding school, with the history of schools like that in North America amongst indigenous people isn't a good suggestion.
Talk to Elrod. There were some problems with her classes and year at first, but she graduated in 2009.Until she brings up Pejuta who graduated in 2009, wait, with a 4 year program shouldn't she be class of 2010 since she started in mid 2006-2007 school year?
Ms. Perry doesn't usually deal with the pitch for Native American families, so she missed some key points, but she's quick on her feet.And that got their attention, they will hear out Ms. Perry thanks to Kayda going to Whateley and Neala's insistence. Yes, bring up The Nations, a great group for First Nations kids to join and Kayda helped start it.
Neala is a side character, but I think I can get some good stuff going between her and Helsing. They come from two VERY different backgrounds, but are both generally nice kids, with big dreams. Even if Neala doesn't know what her dream is at this point.A new Whitmaniac is here, Neala has arrived. Yeah, the dorm rooms are big, the phone is nice with a lot of great apps already on it, and the laptop will help a lot with schoolwork. Some students complain about how small everything is, either that are big or they come from a well-off or wealthy family. Abigail Helsing is her roommate, so this is Helsing's roommate. With introductions and getting to know each other, Neala needed a place where she could come out of her shell.
New Shoes
A Whateley Short by Domoviye
I don't know why but every once in a while, usually when I'm I sick, I start watch Youtube videos about hoof care. It raised the question of "What does Whateley do about hoofed students?" That's actually where I got the idea of Stable Master.Dawn-Renae aka Toison is not very happy. Goat legs, hooves, and horns, but she got magic out of the deal. Ouch, having to get her hoof checked out at the stables and think it makes her not human because of her feet. 'Foot Care Centre' sure is different than even I expected.
This is the story that came from that question.
Gen 1: Little Stories, introduces Stable Master and goes into detail about her pregnancy. Elliot was a test tube baby for a couple of reasons.Ms. Peters has a son named Elliot. Who is the father? Toison finds out Ms. Peters is a centaur, I wonder how many students are stunned into silence upon first meeting her.
I've watched a lot of hoof care videos while sick and not able to sleep. I applied what I learned to the story. And overgrown hooves are mostly just a problem for farm animals, because in the wild they walk enough to keep the horn worn down.Running around without shoes when you have hooves is a good thing, interesting. Ah, needing shoes for running on ice, makes sense. Hoof care should be a required course for any student with hooves. *winces* I can't believe some students would do that to their hooves, those are a part of your body now!
And I was picturing students trying to carve cool pictures, swears and other things into their hooves, and suddenly, "SNAP" something breaks.
Image
A Whateley Short by Domoviye
No one knows how vicious or effective Shisa can be.Penny Dreadful and Shisa, oh boy, I don't think Penny Dreadful is going to work as teammates. Bwahaha, Penny doesn't know what Shisa is capable of or she would know that her manifested zombie Jonathon will be toast with one swipe of Shisa's PK claws. Oops, she just saw Shisa's MID and realized what a threat she is up again.
Supervillain: Parole, Penny doesn't know that Shisa has killed before or how deadly she can be.
I picked the title very carefully. Penny Dreadful is careful about what image she wants to project, and Shisa wants to change hers. We'll see some of Shisa's reasoning in a future story.
Yeah. When you know what she's capable of, and is willing to do, she is kind of terrifying.Penny wants to work together with Shisa, she is terrified of her. But Shisa grins and says no, she is easily the scariest student currently at Whateley.
Very minor spoiler here. The Spring Combat Final is going to be REALLY FUN for Shisa.The students and some teachers are in stunned silence watching this, now you see how dangerous she is. You gave her a place to cut loose, with no living beings to harm, and she is taking advantage of it to have her kind of "fun".
This is the scene that made me decide on the combat final.Penny is in sight of the drop-off point, easy A, but suddenly her horse's head is lopped off. Caught by Shisa, another zombie summoned and destroyed immediately, Shisa wants the box and Penny drops it. Only to be flung into the sky, dropped, caught, dropped, then caught by a TK slide and land on the roof of a building. Hears the buzzer as Shisa wins and Penny peed herself in terror.
I was wondering how Shisa would handle being a messenger cat, since she can't easily carry most things. Answer: Let the other kid do it.
At first I was going to have her remove all the threats in the arena, but I realized that as she murdered her way through things they'd start throwing more and more stuff at her. So I decided to have her go on a running rampage of violence, and then slip away to follow Penny after she'd had her fun.
Shisa felt she had to let people know what she is capable of if she's pushed. The injuries were worth it to her. And Shisa is a little bit of a bitch. She had fun trashing everything and making Penny Dreadful piss herself.Debriefing room, Penny has a borrowed pair of sweatpants. Good lord, Shisa, you didn't have to go through all that. Shisa let Penny carry the package and did all that just because they were ANTs and she wanted to let off some stress. An F, yet she will still pass Survival class, Shisa learned nothing, no wonder Tolman is furious.
Penny didn't really have much to learn. She did everything pretty well. Didn't cause any problems getting the parcel, stayed on target, and when facing a clearly violent threat did what she needed to stay alive.Penny gets an A-, she did everything right including when faced with Shisa and fearing for her life. Penny flees before Tolman can rip into Shisa, smart move. Happy with her wins and still caring about image, she only learned to fear Shisa and nothing else, darn it.
Playing with Fire
A Whateley Short by Amethyst
Lilith can be found in my Gen2 off Whateley story "The Last Freak Show".Calling it a club for pretties just because a girl who is a SIdhe started it isn't nice. Lilith, GSD that looks more than a little demonic. Imp proves that won't hold you back from finding love. Lilith graduated last year, performing in the Last Freak Show in Austin, Texas. Becky, you don't need to make it big with your club to make it big in the world outside of Whateley.
The story made me think of an informal dance club at Whateley which emphasizes powers. Funny enough, I don't have any characters in the dance club due to some changes I made. My characters will just get to see them struggling to gain members and failing at first.
Thank you very much. This has been in the making for a while. It's great to see it finally come out.Great stories, everyone. It was nice meeting new characters and seeing others again to catch up with them.
She'll appear as a side character, but don't expect a big role for the most part.It was great meeting Neala aka Batoo and finally knowing who Helsing's roommate is. She is an interesting girl and I hope we see more of her in the future as she seems like fun.
They don't really need a class. All of them eventually get pointed to Ms. Peters eventually, usually sooner rather than later.Dawn aka Toison, shows one area where Whateley needs to step up. Every student with hooves should automatically be put in a class on hoof care at the start of the school year. I'm so glad Ms. Peters was able to help her out and make Dawn feel better about herself. Plus Ms. Peters' son is adorable.
And thanks, I wanted her kid to be cute.
Shisa couldn't tear apart a competent group. She's a hit and run fighter, and one good hit will take her out. She is pretty fragile.Shisa, we knew she was dangerous, but this just put the whole school on notice to not mess with the girl as she can tear apart armies if given a chance. Seriously, it is only second in the most messed up combat final to Gen 1 between Counterpoint and Just Me. Penny Dreadful, if she learned nothing else I hope she learned to never underestimate another of her classmates based on persumptions again.
But against someone or group that treats her as a joke or minor threat, and they can't just tank her hits, she'll rip them apart.
Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.
- null0trooper
- Offline
- Author
- Posts: 265
- Thank you received: 150
Great stories, everyone. It was nice meeting new characters and seeing others again to catch up with them.
Thank you!
Care-Bear, now she is an interesting one. We know she is a healer, but what is with referring to acting like different Carebears? Is that part of her personality, part of her mutation, or something else?
All of the above. She's a projective empath who always really, really liked the Carebears.
"No Heroes" Part 5: Story link .
Story Discussion
Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.
SPOILER ALERT
Becky aka Fairyfire, I like her, she has a passion for her club and what she wants to do, but also cares about others. So glad to see Vanessa and Clover start to come out of their shells. And so happy Thulia doesn't have any lasting problems due to what Gouyasse did to her.
I hope we get to see each of these characters again in future stories.[/spoiler]
Thanks, as always, for your comment, Dreamer. When Domo came up with the idea for the elemental dance club I kind of ran with it and created Fairyfire to be the one in charge. She has a passion for entertaining people and that passion shows through in how eager she is to recruit others. She also cares about the people that she brings into the fold and has become a mentor of sorts to Sprite, so we'll definitely see more of her in the next Sprite story. It was nice hinting as some things that will be coming up for both Sprite and Weed as well as introducing Becky. As for Plumeria and Scamper, we will see more of them in the second semester.
Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.
- EnemyOfFun
- Offline
- Visitor
- Posts: 36
- Thank you received: 17
Don't make me angry, you wouldn't like me when I'm angry
Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.
- Forum
- The Classrooms - Story Feedback
- Kirby Hall - The Second Generation
- The Whitmaniacs by Enemyoffun