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Baiting the Hook by MaLAguA

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03 Jun 2025 00:00 #4332 by DanZilla
Baiting the Hook can be found in the Gen 2 section or by using the link below... please remember our authors are doing this for the response they get... leave comments where you can for appreciated stories.

Baiting the Hook
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03 Jun 2025 03:05 #4333 by Dreamer
Replied by Dreamer on topic Baiting the Hook by MaLAguA
SPOILER ALERT
Below is a stream of consciousness commentary I type up as I read the story. Details from the story will be included. If you have not read the story yet and don't wish to have details spoiled, read no further.

Baiting the Hook comments
Warning: Spoiler!

Thank You for the story comments appreciated and help me know they are being read and liked. :-) Note: My story comments can't nor are trying to replace reading the stories, simply my way of enjoying them and letting the authors know I enjoy them.
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03 Jun 2025 03:29 #4334 by cprime
Replied by cprime on topic Baiting the Hook by MaLAguA
Play by play, go!

Warning: Spoiler!


Certainly an interesting chapter. Got to rotate the plot hooks every so often to keep them fresh.
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03 Jun 2025 15:11 #4335 by MaLAguA
Replied by MaLAguA on topic Baiting the Hook by MaLAguA
Thank you for the notes and comments, Dreamer ^_^.
Honestly, i've been uneasy about this story and the next one (originally, this one was combined, but appeared too hefty so I split Vic's chapter to the side. Still, hope that it was of your liking. It does feel off to write an action light chapter, but I can't have my characters fighting for their life in every appearance.

Will Crossby's little business was a small addition since it'd been a while since we'd seen that crew. Things are starting to take off for them as their business is getting set up.

Last scene, got you with some nice ideas, but the initial thought was correct (i mean the speech is a dead giveaway, though i kinda want to start to phase it out). If u think about it, Mew does have some traits that tangentially align. She has a hand on many things, Mew would be one, but she also references something else.
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03 Jun 2025 15:26 #4336 by MaLAguA
Replied by MaLAguA on topic Baiting the Hook by MaLAguA
Thank you for the comment. It means a lot to me.
I'll note that, this chapter is recap heavy because, well, a lot of things have happened and it'd been a while. It involved filling in characters about the aftermath of Vic's recent adventures, the different social groups he hung around, most of which felt equally important to get the reaction. So, needless to say, I wasn't looking forward for this. At times it felt as though things being repeated. Originally, meant to be part of the next story in the saga, but split off given the focus was off.
I'll note that it's Sophie, rather than Sophia (because there's a Sofia in the character roster, thanks to my habit of unknowingly naming characters similarly)

And, it's true. Vic doesn't hold a secret gadgeteer rating. But with the high mental visualization skill his mom helped foster as a child and his rather high control, it's still a good thing to learn (i mean, it's just intro to fabrication) Syndicate, namely Lifeward, noted his performance in the combat finals and how he helped Josh disables the reactor in Silent mountain.

Vic running into crossby's group was a good way to update them in the events. Since they don't know each other, the gut reaction is for distrust... but, they need help and he offers it in need for a distraction.

And the last part might've been off.
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03 Jun 2025 21:43 #4338 by Naldru
Replied by Naldru on topic Baiting the Hook by MaLAguA
Kiki’s Delivery Service sounds very well suited for Whateley. iI as thinking of getting out my copy just the other day.

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