- Forum
- The Classrooms - Story Feedback
- Kirby Hall - The Second Generation
- Paying the Pied Pythoness (Part 1) by MaLAguA
New? Arriving? (09 Aug 2021)
Required Reading:
If it is stickied, it is stickied for a reason. Please read it.
Paying the Pied Pythoness (Part 1) by MaLAguA
Paying the Pied Pythoness (Part 1)
Please Log in to join the conversation.
Below is a stream of consciousness commentary I typed up as I read the story. Details from the story will be included. If you have not read the story yet and don't wish to have details spoiled, read no further.
Paying the Pied Pythoness Part 1 comments
The end of Christmas break, so many students avoid coming back until Friday, it seems. Gwen Silver is helping her cottagemate and the late arrivals to the school year with their luggage. Ping! Glad to see her again. Chris and her parkour antics are fun to read. Did Chris sprint back to the cottage once she got out of the bus from the airport?Friday, January 6th - 4:12pm
Poe Cottage - Common room.
Why are you like this, Chris? When Gwen first began manifesting, eep. Ack! Don't overthink it, Gwen, or you will spiral. Chris, if you have to pull your shirt up to smell it to know how bad it is, you have gotten too used to your own funk. *facepalms* A shirt she already wore and hadn't been washed after, Chris, you need to take better care of yourself. Stayed up late playing video games, Chris sure is sticking to being as much of a boy as possible after the change.Gwen sighed, feigning frustration as she rested her forehead against her hand. “Chris. You are… You need to be more presentable. People are just this close to giving you the slob award.”
Chris's roommate isn't back yet, so it gives her time to wash that shirt and clean up. Aww, Gwen, still so shy about seeing other girls outside of the showers in an undressed state.
Okay, now it is more understandable. Ack! Clothes, I don't see Chris wearing anything frilly for a long time. Oof, loss of friends due to becoming a changeling. I wonder if Chris could still try to reconnect.“Oh. I got the games I wanted. I’ve been missing my console while I was at school… So I might’ve gone a bit overboard playing,” Chris mused.
That is one aspect of social media I hadn't anticipated. I hope Chris tries to open up to her old friends, give them a chance at least.Of course, with social media being ever-present in life, it was hard to imagine anyone’s manifestation status or condition as a mutant being a secret. Between classmates comparing notes and profiles going inactive and someone else appearing in the close circle of contacts, it wasn’t so hard to uncover the truth, as unbelievable as it might be, through some basic sleuthing.
Darn, no Vic for Chris as another reminder to Gwen of what happened. Ouch, blaming yourself for what happened, Vic was going a lot. You would have needed a live-in therapist to help try to prevent what happened from happening. Oh, Gwen. If you knew what new thing Vic was going through, you would realize he has another fear that might prevent him from trying to reconnect. Uh oh, Gwen suspects an organization or third party paid Vic's tuition. Heh, if she knew what Mrs. Kythe does now, Gwen might be even more worried for Vic.
Already wanting to book some time in the parkour lab, Chris, never change. Chris ate the airplane food! The Crystal Hall, better than five-star dining. I hope Caro is okay. Hhm, what is up with the colored snowballs and those boys? Freshmen in Poe cottage, hhm. Oh no, not Swerve. That boy needs to stop insulting girls.
Yeah, and you will be the ones who clean it up when Mrs. Horton finds out.“Relax, the special color dye has a fixative to it. These snowballs won’t break apart easily,” Swerve answered. “Plus, soluble dye and ice. It shouldn’t be hard to clean, right?” His gaze strayed towards the open space within the common room that just invited him to play around with it. He tossed the snowball behind for a long toss and catch..
Crud, Chris wants to play next time and ask. Won't let girls play, the excuse it is a rough game, Swerve needs a lesson on how to treat girls. Swerve won't share, but the other boys let Chris have some snowballs; glad his attitude hasn't infected the others. Of course, Chris just wants to have fun with the snowballs. Swerve, you shouldn't have pulled that stunt. Chris's deceleration field has a lot of uses.
Swerve, you tried to force them to step back as a form of intimidation; you have no room to speak here.
Her powers are some of the funnest to watch in action. No victim here. Chris, Swerve pulled a stunt as an intimidation tactic; only your power saved anyone from having to go to Doyle. Chris is so polite to Swerve, yet he keeps rebuffing her.“That’s something I can agree with,” Chris smiled as she offered her hand for a shake. “Codename’s Celerity. I’m both the fastest and the slowest speedster here.”
Swerve! You don't say that about a girl, especially right to her face. Chris, not helping here.
I would report Swerve to Mrs. Horton on this matter at least. Chris just tells Swerve her old name, how she still goes by Chris, how she would dress in her Power Rangers or superhero shirts, given the choice. So, Chris is enough of a boy still that Swerve doesn't seem to mind her. Gah! You just had to say that, Swerve. The boy has no censor for his mouth. Leaving Chris in shock, never say something like that to her again.“Hey. You know the rules,” Chris said, stepping in. “We don’t pry into other people’s pasts. If they don’t want to, then say nothing.”
Oh god! It is a coping mechanism as Chris hasn't fully accepted that they are a girl yet. And she isn't seeing a therapist! It is times like these I wish Fubar were still at Whateley. Time to go see Caro, a change of subject is best.Chris was a person that, for the most part, could be defined as ‘unaware’ of certain aspects of her life. Some thought it was aloofness, with the way she often changed subjects around Poe meetings, or how she often focused on showing off some of her parkour tricks or playing video games. But whenever she was made aware of reality, her mind would blank out.
I wouldn't be so sure about that, Chris. Things can change drastically over Winter break. Fun with dyed snowballs, though, when Mrs. Horton finds out, she will have them clean up that wall.“Winter term. Combat term. This should be fun,” Chris mused. “We have our team with the Capes… and we also have our mini team. We’re the three musketeers, the three primary color rangers. You, me and Caro.”
“She’ll be on board with it, right?”
“She will! Isn’t she always? We’ve been through so many things together, we’ve somehow become best friends.” Chris smiled before stopping. “One moment.”
Friends with someone who was the queen bee of her school; I can only hope her old, bad personality traits haven't returned.
Boy, and I thought their friendship started easy; color me surprised.“Yeah… the one that forced us to speak gobbledygook whenever we heard a bell…” Gwen shook her head.
“Honestly, think I got it worse. You don’t have a clue of how many bell-like sounds are around until you start looking for them,” Chris laughed. “I thought that would cement her as our enemy… but you kept on trying to befriend her.”
Joined the Capes due to losing a bet; at least it has been good for Caro. Gwen doesn't want to be the popular one, especially not as Swerve put it. Something to show them, a surprise, uh oh. Best to find out Caro's surprise on a full stomach.
Marlene Fisher, aka Peppercat, just got back to Whateley and Whitman. The Hunger Games, ack, who voted to marathon those movies? Re-Zero or Bungo Stray Dogs, two series I also like, Marlene has good taste in anime. Lilian Hendrick, aka Mad-Cat, just how many catgirls are there at Whateley in year 2 of Gen 2? A containment spell so her tail isn't out, that sounds uncomfortable.Friday, January 6th - 4:25pm
Whitman Cottage - Common room.
I hope she only does this as-needed.A slight shudder ran from the top of her tail to the back of her skull. It was the usual kickback whenever she used her power to hide her features.
No drama or fights in Whitman yet, boy, the unwinding from Winter break makes it more subdued around there. Sofia, aka Zoo, sure is happy to see Marlene. A trip to the zoo, lucky. I hope Sofia can stay sober and not fall in with Whiskey and his crew again. Dang, missing the chance to cosplay at a convention by one week. Uh oh, by the sound of Sofia's response, it doesn't bode well for Caro not starting to slip back into her old personality. Unless that is just jealousy by Sofia of Caro removing her GSD through magic, at least I think I remember her doing that in another story.
Aww, getting along, but Caro got a 'glow-up' and it makes Sofia jealous that she can't do the same. Caro, I remember the horns, the other details I can't recall if they came up in other stories.
Caro needs to be more careful; Grimma wishes her to thrive, but that might not always be a good thing in the direction Caro has started to head.Grimma, the spirit of myth and stories, the sorceress of fables.
And Marlene gets a shock, Caro looks like a normal girl, all her GSD is gone.
Oh no, her personality already seems to be slipping back to how she was before the contract with Grimma. Gave back her normal appearance in exchange for being able to leave Caro for the holidays. Please say she wasn't up to anything bad while away from Caro so long.“I look perfect, don’t I?” Caro said with a smile.
“W-Well, yeah,” Marlene admitted. “Perfectly normal.”
“This is the real me, like, before I made the contract with Grimma, got the horns and grew the scales. Miss Popular. Guy’s heartthrob. No longer a GSD case.” Caro was ecstatic, using the phone at hand to look at her ears and the side of her neck. “I got here through the main door, like all normal-looking people.”
And still has her powers, oh boy.“Well, I was always more of a paladin, right? Beholden to a spirit’s whims and rules, not really having to host the entity within my hallow, but also making sure that no one would take that spot. Which is why I got this free pass.”
I don't like how Caro said that. Plus, with the title of the story, why do I feel that when Grimma returns, Caro is going to have more severe GSD than before? Marlene, keep a close eye on Caro and be there for her, including after Grimma returns.“Well, if this is an agreement with Grimma, she’s going to come back, right?”
“Hopefully, for some time. But I’m willing to try to make this last for as long as possible,” Caro asserted.
With an entity like Grimma, it is never a harmless incident.Quietly, Marlene followed. She didn’t know much about Caro’s contract with Grimma, but she had the suspicion that this wouldn’t turn out well.
Hopefully, it would just be a harmless incident.
Join the anime club just for events, sounds like fun, do it, Chris. I knew I liked Marlene, a fellow anime enthusiast. If Dereck makes a stink about Chris joining the anime club for events, he needs that stick pulled out already. A guy is moving cardboard boxes across the yard, only to have the strap on one break and drop all of them, poor guy. Peter Ramsay, a member of Whiskey's club, uh, I would be wary about helping him, but still help him.Friday, January 6th - 4:36pm
Just outside the Crystal Hall
Gwen has a good heart to help. Cans and bottles, and one of them cracked and is leaking. Gwen, back off now before you become an unwitting accomplice. And stops cussing once he notices Gwen, ugh. Peter knows Chris from classes together. First time meeting Gwen, good, I hope it can be the last time. *facepalms* Doesn't want to trouble her, Peter, acting like a gentleman to her isn't going to get you what you want. All this is stuff for setting up Whiskey's new base for his enterprise.
Mushed potato chips, so mix them with something. That rather fancy box is integral to Whiskey's operations; I bet security would just love a chance to examine it. Peter is being blinded by a pretty face, and Chris promises not to tell security, teachers, or anyone in their group about what is in the box. Something for Will's new place, I knew it. He is just telling them everything about the new place, including its general location.
Chris, it is not sweet to have a gambling bar on campus for the students. Well, he does have a point about fun and stress relief at Whateley. Just wish alcohol wasn't involved.
And that is how you know the contract isn't just standard boilerplate stuff; I wouldn't be surprised if it makes those who sign compelled to return more often and spend more money.“A spell in a contract,” Peter snickered. “We had a guy craft these special contracts that will magically bind anyone willing to enter.”
“That sounds dangerous… Don’t think I would risk it.”
“It’s nothing to worry about. Just standard boilerplate stuff,” Peter said as he focused on making things fit into the cardboard box, potentially breaking some more of the frail snacks.
Yeah, I still don't believe that is the extent of those contracts until proven otherwise. The guy you had craft those special contracts might have slipped something else in that even Will doesn't know about.Nothing big, it just keeps you from babbling out the location or anything about the bar casino. That part wears off in a matter of months, it’s just to be sure no one will blab. The other, longer lasting part of the contract would tell us who blabs about it.”
Doing this since mid last year! Only Whiskey power has kept you all from being caught.
All the pull and influence won't get the headmaster or assistant headmaster to budge on this. No one near the place before it opens; they will get caught eventually. Ack! That was painful to watch as Peter tries to get Gwen to basically go on a date with him, but he doesn't say it is a date.“Hopefully, Crossby will manage to figure out a way to convince the administration or the cottage parents to let him do this…”
Gwen finally realizes Peter is flirting with her; she needs lessons on how to identify flirting. Chris, why did you have to interrupt Gwen when she was about to tell Peter she has a boyfriend? Grand opening by next Sunday, which means they have almost everything in place already.
Nooo! Not mead, that stuff can blind you to how bad alcohol is for you with its sweet taste.“Well, for the opening, Will is preparing, with the help of an alumnus that works in the villages, several barrels-worth of mead. A recipe he investigated during the break, part of his study program. It’s said to be the perfect sweet drink from medieval times.”
Chris, no, just no. A spell by Caro to sober you up, that is a threat, Gwen! Time to meet Caro without the GSD for Gwen and Chris.“I’m not much of a drinker. If he’d said there would be other food or games, I might consider it.” Chris thought for a moment. “Although I’ve never tried mead. Um, have I even heard of mead? Do you know?”
Now I'm more worried than ever about Caro. Gwen, Chris, Caro, Marlene, and Sofia all head up to Caro and Marlene's room. Her pride in looking great, please don't let her old queen bee personality come back in full before this is all over, she could lose friends that way. Caro tells them how she is like this; it still feels like Grimma tricked her into a deal she will regret.“Don’t shush me,” Caro snapped, her gaze lingering to the crowd with a mischievous smirk as though she was considering retaliating for the slight.
Caro is alone in her dorm room, enjoying the silence. Worried about the Christmas break due to her GSD; she doesn't want to attract unwanted attention.Friday, December 23rd - 2:59pm
Whitman Cottage Room 247
Oh no, Caro dug herself into a hole and needed to make the deal with Grimma to get out of it. Bumped down what was once a priority until it was too late, Caro. You did this by not sticking to a plan.And to make matters worse, she had promised her parents she would have a better handle on her magic. So, taking her at her word, they made vacation plans for the span of the winter break. She hadn’t known about this until a couple of days ago, and rather than admit failure, she insisted that it wouldn’t be a problem and that they didn’t need to change plans.
Dang, can barely make a glamour last a whole afternoon, and needs it to last for days.
Gah! That is some limitation on Grimma's magic. One option she was dreading, crap, the deal with Grimma was a last resort option.And the law of diminishing returns in Grimma’s magic–that casting the same spell in quick succession yielded reduced effects and higher costs of mana–made sure that she would either need to craft a different variation of the short spell whenever she was about to head out or push the limit and then suffer the consequences.
Crud, I don't think Grimma will want to help her replace those without a deal.It was the last of a set she’d made under Grimma’s tutelage, meant to be used to summon the spirit of fables whenever she was out in her wanderings.
Caro, she makes an entrance like that, only dangerous manipulators or villains tend to make an entrance like that. Hast thou summoned me, drama queen, and probably knew Shakespeare.But the effects were felt right away as a darkness of green and gold seeped into the room from every corner, slowly pouring onto the ground like black mist before coalescing within the center of the space, right in front of Caro. The torrent swirled itself higher and higher, with a haunting, whistling wind that like vocalized singing reaching up into a crescendo.
And then the spire burst out like the blossoming of a flower. The ‘sheets’ of darkness opened out, transmogrifying into the outlines of sooty animals that fled into the flowing darkness. And at the center, a shadowy feminine outline could be seen, with glowing eyes and the ornate outline of garments that were ever shifting. Grimma loved to make an entrance.
Listen to Grimma on this at least, Caro. Caro begs Grimma to make her look normal.“That’s wonderful,” Grimma said, her figure taking a polite seat on the bed. “Seeing new places, soaking in the culture of the land and expanding your horizon. The fun never hurts.”
“But there are problems with that,” Caro said, her eyes checking down on the time display on her phone.
“There are always problems. Aren’t there? I do wish that thou wouldst have a good time with your parents.”
Grimma, you know she is too inexperienced to risk such a thing yet. Nooo! Never tell a spirit you will do anything; this is far worse than I previously expected. What Grimma just said, she cares about Caro and worries for her. It sounds like whatever price comes of this will be required and out of Grimma's hands.“Thou couldst try to fix it yourself,” Grimma suggested.
Oh, Caro, I hope you don't become the queen bee you were at your old school. You have friends who truly care about you now. Please don't ruin it. She wants the ring created with dragon's blood. What is Grimma going to do with that? Nothing bad for Morgana, I hope.“Alas, I hoped that thou wouldst be more daring in the use of thymagic, but I see some fears and wounds still run deep within thee. So I shall grant thy wish,” Grimma declared.
Despite what she says, I'm not sure I trust Grimma with it.“As collateral, maybe. To appreciate the enchantworks.” Grimma extended her hand.
I'm still worried; with spirits, you can never tell what their true objectives are until it is too late, most of the time.“I do this as a gift for thee, for providing me such interesting insight into thy life and adventures, for allowing me into such a place where stories are built, for keeping on treating me with stories to read. And so, for the next few weeks, thou shalt be given the much needed rest in the form thou dost want.” And with that, she waved her hand before Caro.
Something departed from her to gather around Grimma's hand; this is setting my danger alarms off. Yes, remember Grimma is no fairy tale godmother. All that energy leaving Caro; when it returns, will it be stronger?
Some matters to attend to, now I'm even more concerned about what Grimma is up to while she is away from Caro. So absorbed in her reflection, I'm not sure Caro fully heard what Grimma just said.“Around the turning of the year, I have some matters to attend to, so I was going to make myself scarce. Sometimes, convenience just lines up with life, doesn’t it?”
I think Grimma knows what might happen more than she is letting on. A favor that is not meant to last, when it wears off, I hope the price isn't too much for Caro. Even if the price is just psychological due to her GSD returning, and nothing else.“And with that, I bid thee farewell, May the ghosts of Christmas not see thee and the passing of the year’s torch not lose thine enjoyment. So that the next story of magic and adventure can start without the bad waters in the ink.”
End of the tale by Caro to her friends.Friday, January 6th - 5:54 pm
Whitman Cottage hallway
Oh, one of Caro's fears is disappointing her parents, isn't it? Glossed over the deal with the sorceress, just gave the ring away, and Chris is upset she didn't get to use it yet.“Then, my parents picked me up, quite proud of me for having managed to turn myself back to normal,” Caro said with a smile that tried to hide away a concern.
She might have been giving you subtle hints in her words, but you didn't pick up on them.“Aren’t you worried, though?” Marlene asked. “Usually, in fairytales, deals tend to come out with much more troubles than expected, like in Rumpelstiltskin.”
“I don’t think Grimma would screw me over… or else she would’ve given me something to suspect. If she planned foul play, she would give me a hint.”
Caro, you have to accept there is a price to your deal with Grimma.“Normal?” Caro blurted out. “This is normal!”
“That’s not what I meant,” Sofia corrected with a slight frown. “Like, you know, if you’ll go back to how you were before.”
Caro sighed. “Probably that’s the case… It just doesn’t mean I’m looking forward to that. If I’m lucky, Grimma will change her mind or that her vacation will take longer than we think.”
Bargain with Grimma; I'm hearing someone saying "You'll be sorry." about this.It’s not like you can do anything about it, anyway,” Sofia noted.
“I don’t know about that,” Caro mumbled, loud enough for everyone to catch.
“What do you have planned?” Marlene asked with caution.
“Nothing,” Caro was quick to answer, earning a look from Sofia. “Just thoughts… I hope I can even consider striking a deal.”
Careful, I wish Mrs. Carson or Circe were there to guide you on the right path or lecture some sense into you. Well, you can't blame Caro for wanting to enjoy this until it ends. Aww, Chris and Marlene are so excited to have Caro watch anime with her, yet Caro has other ideas of what to do with her time.“Yeah, try not to mess things up badly. I am your roommate after all,” Sofia added.
“Wait, wait,” Gwen blurted. “That’s all?”
“What else can we do?” Marlene said. “It’s not like we see or hear Grimma often. I’ve only felt her a few times but that’s about it.”
“I can detect her… but that’s about it,” Sofia noted.
“And we don’t know magic,” Chris admitted, forcing Gwen to silently agree:
“Just be careful, alright?”
A field trip to Berlin's mall, why do I expect Grimma to show up while they are there and change Caro back? Almost no Berlin trip for Whateley students ends without some kind of chaos. Caro, your saying that is basically teasing Marlene about how she has to use her own magic to look 'normal'.“I was thinking of things like spending time with friends? Going to the mall, buying some new outfits to look the part?” To that, she spread her arms so as to gesture at those present. “Say, how does a trip to Berlin’s mall sound?”
Chat about their vacations; Sofia had a hot Christmas in Peru, Marlene attended a convention, Gwen is modest about her family celebration, and Caro gushes about all the places she went and the things she saw. Snowing outside, Sofia was right.
A walk through the snow, I miss those.
Please, don't let Caro become a mean girl again and drive her friends away. You aren't happy that your friend is unhappy; you just don't want to lose her as a friend.“I think I am too,” Chris said as she scooped. “I don’t think we’ve seen Grimma more times than the fingers on a hand… so I don’t know how that ‘negotiation’ will turn out.”
“I didn’t mean-. I mean, I’m worried about that too but…” Gwen said, lifting her gaze to the dark sky. “We both remember how she acted before, right? Like, at the start?”
Friday, January 6th - 10:58 pm
Whitman Cottage just outside Room 247
Oh no, that kind of thinking worries me. Ouch, envy from some of the other GSD girls at how Caro looks 'normal' now. And thinking the envy is for the same reason as girls at her old school had, oh boy.She had grown into quite a popular and likeable figure since the start of the school year, but the last few hours just impressed everyone with her transformation from ‘evil queen’ to ‘beautiful princess’.
Caro heads off to go to sleep, and Sofia is already asleep.
I knew it! This is what is going to ruin her relationship with Grimma and end with her worse off than before; don't do it, Caro. Sofia is quietly asleep; I'm so glad they got her away from Whiskey and his crew.But what took her breath away for a moment was a pair of bright eyes that made themselves comfortable in the dark corner, where green and gold hues mingled and something moved in the dark.
It was only for a second, though. As Caro’s eyes adjusted to the dark, she realized they were playing tricks on her. The lights were a reflection of the mirror on her desk, while the green and gold were from Sofia’s coat that hung by the side of her bed, and the soft movement was the roommate breathing.
“I really need to finish my plan to deal with Grimma. I won’t go back to being a creature,” Caro thought as she carefully walked. Making an effort to make as little noise as possible for her sleeping roommate.
A soft, glowing light draws Caro's attention to a drawer. An old wooden flute illuminated by the light.
Crap! Why the heck does Caro have that? Her grandmother gave her that cursed item to study for class, a familial item. How did it end up with her family in the first place? Colorful polished stones, what is Caro up to?Hand carved gorgeous work, bearing folkloric charm. With stylized rings etched on its surface that could’ve spelled out some sort of abridged hidden language. Its surface glowed as trails of pale blue mist ebbed away from its holes. Not many would see it, nor feel its power.
Shit, she is already becoming like the mean girl she was in the past to plot against Grimma like this.“I’m going to make you a deal,“ Caro whispered confidently. “And I hope you take it… or I’ll try to surprise you.”
Thank You for the story comments appreciated and help me know they are being read and liked.

Please Log in to join the conversation.
Do know that this was a tough story to write. But it gets better.
Originally, this was meant to include Baiting the Hook before it was separated into its own thing. So some overlap is expected there, specially the last part of that story.
And as a bit of a reminder. Caro's GSD was her horns, pointed ears and scales that grew on her back, sides of her neck and shoulders.
Please Log in to join the conversation.
- Forum
- The Classrooms - Story Feedback
- Kirby Hall - The Second Generation
- Paying the Pied Pythoness (Part 1) by MaLAguA