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No Good Deed by Domoviye
No Good Deed
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Below is a stream of conscious commentary I type up as I read the story. There will be details from the story included in it. If you have not read the story yet and don't wish to have details of it spoiled, read no further.
No Good Deed comments
Emiko Mori meditating, the incense would have me sneezing. Her parents had this Zen Garden Temple built, dang. And she is teaching meditation class there at only 14, impressive. Green tea or hot chocolate, nice to have choices. Venting session, cute. Ouch, the guilt, either tell on her sister to her parents or keep quiet, she can't win either way. Her parents keep asking until she gives in, that is emotional abuse imo. Plans to become a Buddhist nun, and I wonder if those plans will change. Interesting, I didn't know that about Buddhist nuns.Calgary Zen Garden Temple
Calgary, Canada
March 23rd, 2016
Whoa, rough couple of years. Chiha, her mom has a unique name, never heard of it before. 6 more to join her meditation classes, and that is good news. A paycheck, Emiko, if your parents insist on it then take it. That is definitely something to evoke a shriek, a hungry ghost. Why can only Emiko see the hungry ghost? Don't tell me, she manifested and one of her powers is the ability to see spirits.
Her dad is named Riku Mori, and they have a monk named Hinata. None of them can see it and Emiko's eyes have changed and are like the night sky, definitely manifested. Forced to go to the hospital, who will help the poor hungry ghost?
And they get the news that Emiko is a mutant and just manifested. Dang, he is one of the good doctors, making sure the kid is safe in their home after manifesting. Potential mental health issues, I doubt it, she can just see spirits now. Go with the Ministry, do not go to the MCO.Late that night
Emiko goes into the hallway to get a drink and hears a voice saying they are cold, a small boy in his PJs. Emiko tries to go and get a doctor but ends up following the boy since he is scared. His hand feels like ice, this poor boy died while in the hospital. And confirmation she can hear and touch spirits as well. He is leading her towards the basement but Chiha shows up and says Emiko scared her half to death wandering off. The little boy is gone, he couldn't have escaped her grip, Emiko is confused about the whole incident.
Wondering if she has a brain tumor or if her mutant power is driving her mad, she needs help to understand her power soon. Using mala beads to help her meditate, she is on edge. Oh god, please let this be a nightmare and the little boy from the hospital hasn't become a malevolent spirit. Unable to scream, unable to make noise by any means, has her soul been dragged outside her body?Midnight
The boy wishes for Emiko to make him warm again, this is extremely bad. She can grip her dad's monk staff, it gave her strength.
Potent powers and chant, shielding her, and the boy ghost is trying to escape Emiko now.She began to chant the Tisarana, the Triple Refuge.
Thank you for her father showing up and sending that poor soul away.He recovered quickly and began reciting the mantra of Avalokitesvara, the Bodhisattva representative of compassion.
Baby's Breath, a unique codename for magic using superhero. Emiko chose the codename Herupa, and probably a Wiz-1, cool. Tentative ESP-1 with medium and danger sense, nice powers. Tutor in magic once a week from Baby's Breath, but her medium ability only Whateley is equipped to help her. Sorry, Emiko, but the universe tends to laugh when we make plans.Ministry of Supernatural Affairs Testing Office,
Calgary, Canada
March 26th, 2016
A good attitude to have, especially if Whateley is in her future.Touching the mala beads wrapped around her wrist like a bracelet, she felt a calm come over her. No matter how much she didn't want to change, and no matter what happened, she would accept it and live as best she could.
She is in Dickinson and went to the forest to have time to be alone. Only for a goblin to run past her, Emiko is ready if it causes any trouble.Whateley
Evening
September 7th, 2016
Whoa, who are these two? They take off after the goblin and Emiko takes off after them, seems she has some new friends to meet already.A large gray cat came charging out of the bushes, followed by a tough looking girl in shorts and a t-shirt, wearing leather gloves and sunglasses.
A short, but fun story. Emiko is an intriguing person, so disciplined and we find out why. Helping other teens to learn how to meditate to deal with stress is a great idea, I wish I had someone to help guide me when I was first learning how. Her family is great, strict but caring.
Her powers manifesting and what she can see, others might underestimate her based on her power ratings, but with her discipline, I know she can go far. The little boy, sometimes even the most benign of spirits can become dangerous when desperate and scared. I'm glad Emiko was able to deal with him with her father's aid.
That last part though, who knows what kind of creatures sneak around Whateley and most students and staff simply don't see them. The school needs more individuals like Emiko and I'm hoping that the other girl will be her friend.[/quote]
Thank You for the story comments appreciated and help me know they are being read and liked. Note: My story comments can't nor are trying to replace reading the stories, simply my way of enjoying them and letting the authors know I enjoy them.
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- Dan Formerly Domoviye
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- Posts: 288
- Thank you received: 253
Last week I had an idea of a nun character, it just came out of nowhere but I liked the idea.Emiko Mori meditating, the incense would have me sneezing. Her parents had this Zen Garden Temple built, dang. And she is teaching meditation class there at only 14, impressive. Green tea or hot chocolate, nice to have choices. Venting session, cute. Ouch, the guilt, either tell on her sister to her parents or keep quiet, she can't win either way. Her parents keep asking until she gives in, that is emotional abuse imo. Plans to become a Buddhist nun, and I wonder if those plans will change. Interesting, I didn't know that about Buddhist nuns.
Did some research into nuns of various religions and Buddhist nuns fit the idea of the character best, especially when I looked up Japanese Zen Buddhism. Everything pretty much fell into place from there.
Thinking about her, and chatting about it with Rose and some others, also gave me the idea for Helsing in the second story.
I wrote these stories one after the other in 3 days. It was pretty remarkable how easily it came to me.
Buddhist temples are running out of support and worshippers in Japan, they're seen as places you go to for funerals and generally avoid otherwise (at least according to what I've read). So I tried to fit that into the story, and help it form part of Emiko's personality.Whoa, rough couple of years. Chiha, her mom has a unique name, never heard of it before. 6 more to join her meditation classes, and that is good news. A paycheck, Emiko, if your parents insist on it then take it. That is definitely something to evoke a shriek, a hungry ghost. Why can only Emiko see the hungry ghost? Don't tell me, she manifested and one of her powers is the ability to see spirits.
I always liked the idea of hungry ghosts, so bizarre and tragic, with the potential to be very dangerous. This one at least is one of the harmless ones, forced to try to sate its hunger with the dirty water from a temple.
This was a short, short story, so I wanted to keep the conflict very defined. And not everyone has to be a jerk.And they get the news that Emiko is a mutant and just manifested. Dang, he is one of the good doctors, making sure the kid is safe in their home after manifesting. Potential mental health issues, I doubt it, she can just see spirits now. Go with the Ministry, do not go to the MCO.
This was fun to write. Wanted to make it creepy without going overboard.Emiko goes into the hallway to get a drink and hears a voice saying they are cold, a small boy in his PJs. Emiko tries to go and get a doctor but ends up following the boy since he is scared. His hand feels like ice, this poor boy died while in the hospital. And confirmation she can hear and touch spirits as well. He is leading her towards the basement but Chiha shows up and says Emiko scared her half to death wandering off. The little boy is gone, he couldn't have escaped her grip, Emiko is confused about the whole incident.
And initially I wasn't thinking of making the boy the antagonist, but going with the hungry ghost would have been too obvious.
I had to have her rescued somehow, although she did her fair share of the work. While the ghost was going to drown her and take her form and life, it would be a very different story if that happened.The boy wishes for Emiko to make him warm again, this is extremely bad. She can grip her dad's monk staff, it gave her strength.
Potent powers and chant, shielding her, and the boy ghost is trying to escape Emiko now.She began to chant the Tisarana, the Triple Refuge.
Thank you for her father showing up and sending that poor soul away.He recovered quickly and began reciting the mantra of Avalokitesvara, the Bodhisattva representative of compassion.
She's got flaws, but stoicism and acceptance aren't among them.Sorry, Emiko, but the universe tends to laugh when we make plans.
A good attitude to have, especially if Whateley is in her future.Touching the mala beads wrapped around her wrist like a bracelet, she felt a calm come over her. No matter how much she didn't want to change, and no matter what happened, she would accept it and live as best she could.
LOL.She is in Dickinson and went to the forest to have time to be alone. Only for a goblin to run past her, Emiko is ready if it causes any trouble.
Whoa, who are these two? They take off after the goblin and Emiko takes off after them, seems she has some new friends to meet already.A large gray cat came charging out of the bushes, followed by a tough looking girl in shorts and a t-shirt, wearing leather gloves and sunglasses.
This should be interesting.
Thanks, glad you enjoyed it.A short, but fun story.
...
That last part though, who knows what kind of creatures sneak around Whateley and most students and staff simply don't see them. The school needs more individuals like Emiko and I'm hoping that the other girl will be her friend.
Emiko is going to be an important character in the near future. This has actually kickstarted a delayed character, because I had no idea what to do with her.
Emiko and Helsing will both get a certain cat girl back on track.
Thanks again.
I hope you enjoy For Those Who Fell just as much.
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- Dan Formerly Domoviye
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- Posts: 288
- Thank you received: 253
About ten seconds after writing that sentence, I immediately thought of OG Green Goblin.My first thought was that since they were dealing with a green goblin, what are the chances that Spiderman will stop by?
Decided it was too fun to change.
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Is OG "old school"?
About ten seconds after writing that sentence, I immediately thought of OG Green Goblin.My first thought was that since they were dealing with a green goblin, what are the chances that Spiderman will stop by?
Decided it was too fun to change.
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- Dan Formerly Domoviye
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- Thank you received: 253
It can be both.
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- Rosalie Redd
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- Murder Bunny
- Posts: 95
- Thank you received: 42
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