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- Sprite 1: A Little Problem by Amethyst
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Sprite 1: A Little Problem by Amethyst
Sprite 1: A Little Problem
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Micro scenes and bad ideas are freely adoptable
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Below is a stream of conscious commentary I type up as I read the story. There will be details from the story included in it. If you have not read the story yet and don't wish to have details of it spoiled, read no further.
Sprite 1: A Little Problem comments
Waking up in that situation, unable to move due to being too weak, yikes. Could it be a ransom attempt, I highly doubt that, this seems something worse. Leaving football practice, ambushed and probably drugged, this is definitely much worse. Ah, comes from a very rich family, the Masons, and his dad made his money in oil but sent his child to public school to build character, their father is a little naive about what public schools are like compared to his youth.Calgary, Alberta
Unknown Location
Friday, September 9th, 2016 – 11:43 a.m.
A familiar voice, but different at the same time, Mom answering about a power surge and cloning chamber! Telling her daughter her copy is healthy and viable, what the heck is going on? Uh oh, the kid wonders who the she they are talking about is, not a good sign. Aiden and the girl says to wake up and calls them a fake, this is getting weirder.
The girl is an Exemplar with a figure like that at 14.
Shit, don't tell me she abducted him and had him transformed into her twin as punishment for some past slight. And she is normally stuck at 5" tall but can change to human size for up to an hour or two, Aiden doesn't know how messed up his situation is yet.Not that I could be interested in her, with that cotton candy pink hair, matching eyes, pointed ears, dragonfly-like wings, and the fluffy pink antennae growing from her forehead just beneath the hairline. It was the mutant girl who used to live next door, Blythe Adams.
Gold eyes, crud, she tried to turn him into her twin and instead caused some messed up form of mutant activation for Aiden, or so it seems. And now Aiden is realizing what has happened to him, oh boy. They did this to him on purpose with the intent her would be her copy but without her powers, that is beyond sick! Devisor cloning methods, ugh, they went there.
Crud, he used to torture her when she was small-sized and now she wants payback. Constant bullying to the point Blythe wanted to kill herself, Aiden, you screwed up big time. So, instead of letting Blythe down gently you just wished to keep your parents from finding out about her. She has a sudden change in size where she can only be human size for a few hours at a time before reverting to fairy size and coming to you for comfort, and all you think about is your parents finding out. Then your parents find out and they are anti-mutant bigots and wanted to get H1! or Great White North to drive Blythe and her mother away.
He tried to push her away so she wouldn't get killed if his parents brought in outside help to drive Blythe and her mother out but took it too far despite his intentions. And Blythe snapped from it all, this is a tragedy caused by Aiden's parents' bigotry and his fear of them finding out about Blythe.
Wait, his real body still exists and is being kept alive, there is hope! Her mom is a Devisor, obviously, but the devises only work for her.
That doesn't work, Blythe thinks he is a bigoted, abusive asshole like his parents and he just cares about his inheritance. Ouch, Aiden admits to himself that was one of the reasons he betrayed her.“Blythe, let’s talk about this. I had to push you away, for your own safety,” I tried to explain.
Flashback: Blythe snuck into his room and waited for him, he tries to get her to realize it won't work out and she grows to human size. Aiden is in a state of undress and Blythe kneeling in front of him right as his father barges in, of course he jumps to conclusions.
Oh god, I'm starting to see why Aiden went so far to drive her away, his parents think they can do anything with their wealth and get away with it.They threatened to get someone to ‘take care of her’ permanently if they saw her again, and threatened to disown me if they saw me with her.
What the! Blythe plans to take over Aiden's baseline body and his life, this is insane.
Oh, what she said before sounded different from what she has actually planned. Blythe's mom comes down looking like a sexy milf scientist, what is it with female scientists and wearing outfits like that? Mistress Mechanicha. why do I get the feeling she has Diedrick's?“I’m not going to try to be you. The thought of that makes me sick. No, I’m going to be me for the rest of my life, and so will you.”
Well, there goes the hope of regaining his old body, those devises smashed ensure that. *Eyes bug out* Any attempts to get him out of this body, and Aiden dies, sadistic. Blythe killed his old body, this is too far.
Cattail following Baby's Breath into the lab of the Devisor known as Kinosoo, and the meeting place of the Cowtown Heroes. Good grief, two women work together as partners and the rumors fly even when they aren't a couple. Baby's Breath is Cattail's mother...that stuff online just got a lot more unsettling.Meanwhile…
Across town at the lab of Kinosoo...
Ah, they both find the rumors and stuff funny, as long as they are okay with it.
I can see why there is fanart online. Baby's Breath's costume definitely stands out as well.Cattail was currently in her feline form; a humanoid snow leopardess with thick fur, a fluffy tail that was almost as long as she was tall, long and sharp claws, and canines that could punch through metal.
I like him, able to get ahead of the jokes and laugh about it. Kinosso could pass for what the Darkstalkers games had for Atlanteans from the description, cool. Chinook, with a codename like that I wasn't expecting an Irish-descent lass. Bronco, centaur-body is so rare to see and great.Kinosoo was a Devisor and Gadgeteer with fish-like GSD and she was pretty sure that he had only taken that codename because it was amusing to him and sounded kind of silly.
Missing person case, 3 guesses as to who it is, and the 1st 2 don't count. Matthew Mason, so that is Aiden's father, and it has been 3 days since he disappeared from school. Evidence to suggest a known villain, is Mistress Mechanicha a known villain or did she frame someone else? Matt Mason called Kinosoo and Cattail freaks after they saved one of his operations, I agree, why should they help him?
Darn, a child is not responsible for his father's sins, Baby's Breath is right. A teleportation devise and used in a rash of bank thefts recently, what were they thinking? Retired and was out of the game for 10 years to raise her daughter, but came out of retirement because of Aiden's actions trying to protect Blythe by driving her away, good grief. Nice division of duties for the mission, so glad Chinook is dealing with Aiden's parents, I hope she can handle them. Comms in the form of different colored sardine-shaped devises, I like Kinosoo, he's silly.
Tricked-out birdcage to keep Aiden captive in, I'm not going to say what I'm thinking. 4 mirrors so he can't avoid his own reflection and looking down isn't better, psychological torture as well now. Make his escape, with no idea of who to go to for help, Aiden can't go to his parents as they would kill him on sight thinking he was Blythe.Calgary, Alberta
Mistress Mechanicha’s Lair
Friday, September 9th, 2016 – 1:20 p.m.
Electrified bars on the birdcage as well, now that is over the top at this point. Okay, not electrified, what was the red light then? Well, for being in such a horrific situation Aiden has a very logical mind about who he is now and how he is related to.
Thinking his only life is here as Blythe's pet or plaything, enduring torments and that he deserves it, oh no. Aiden, you should have told Blythe the exact threat your parents said and why she and her mother needed to move for their own safety instead of playing cruel games to get her to want to leave. He is going to try and kill himself on the force field, noooo!
Knocked unconscious from pain, but not actual injuries, so that won't work, good. Wanting to use the washcloth blanket to hang himself, nooo. Blythe shows up and Aiden tries pretending to be asleep. She is insane, acting chipper and acting like Aiden shouldn't be upset with her because she brought him the essentials. Crud, Blythe doesn't think even her Mom with her devises could have safely transfered him back to his old body.
She is mentally unhinged at best and needs therapy.We can be together like this, things can be like they were before… well, except for the making out because that would be weird.
She is scaring me, she desperately needs help instead of enabling her like her mother has been doing. And Aiden is just a pet to Blythe, they need to be caught so Blythe and Aiden can get the help they need.“Shut up! You’re mine! You have to do what I say!” she shouted before making a visible effort to calm down. “I… I’ll take care of you, I’ll make you happy.”
Darn, no way to track Aiden's scent due to various factors. Baby's Breath attempted a scrying spell on his uniform and no trace of him, I guess it can't track a mind placed into a new body. Too bad this isn't a simple kidnapping, I fear for the safety of all mutants in the area if his father lashes out.Calgary, Alberta
OXford China Shop
Friday, September 9th, 2016 – 4:05 p.m.
Whoa, who is the girl, if her powers allow her to make fine china like that I'm impressed and love her appearance. Black Angus, but no one here with that name, Angus Oxford, so he is the creator of the fine china and this girl's father. Big bull-headed man who makes fine china, awesome. And Katie is his daughter and a rebel, has her heating up the kiln with her power, dang, I would be annoyed too.
Single father and his daughter is rebellious, oof. Nightdancer, guessing his wife, died, but no idea how. Angus knows who Matthew Mason is and freaking out, a name that might be an alias Mistress Mechanicha is currently using, more than we have now. Dam it! They dropped off Aiden's body at the Masons' house half an hour ago, things are going to get a lot worse. Angus gets them the file fast, and Cattail knows about Katie going out as Spitfire and acting as a vigilante, oh boy. Training Katie as an apprentice superhero, I hope she takes their offer.
Force-fed granola by Blythe and still thinking about ending it all, Aiden slips deeper and deeper into suicidal depression. Exercise for his muscles including the wings, Blythe is delusional to a high degree right now. Exercise to jump-start his body, this is misery in more ways than one. Dang, just a few weeks to get to level and minimal effort to stay there, too bad she didn't think of a way to create a process to give this to full-grown humans and sell it.Calgary, Alberta
Mistress Mechanicha’s Lair
Friday, September 9th, 2016 – 4:17 p.m.
A bath in the bathroom sink, the humiliation just won't end. Insist on being her twin, Blythe has no screws left to lose. Looking down and seeing a body that isn't his, right now I sympathize with Aiden.
I pity Blythe, her mind is such a mess right now and she doesn't even realize it.If I added the way that I had spectacularly fucked up when trying to push her out of my life, it wasn’t hard to see how she had lost her grip on sanity.
An older building not in the best of shape and surrounded by barren fields. Blythe already told Aiden what her mother did with his old body, just rubbing salt into that wound. As soon as Mom is up and around again they are moving to a bigger and better house, crap. Still love him, this is what she calls love, both she and her mother need to be in mental institutions and get help. And she knocked him out again with a metal rod, why? He is trapped in that cage.
A hole in the back for her tail, I wonder where Cattail got that. Naomi Keller as an alias, I hope Mistress Mechanicha is using it. Robots instead of minions, figures. Kelly Adams when she was the Masons' neighbor. At least they have a motive for the kidnapping and murder now, Aiden's father is a bigot of the highest order. A small farm outside the city limits fits the description. What does Kinosso have for transportation, not sure I like him being giddy.Calgary, Alberta
Kinosoo’s Lab
Friday, September 9th, 2016 – 10:38 p.m.
Wait, a rash forming in the worst areas from a synthetic fiber dress...don't tell me Aiden is an actual fairy somehow with their allergies. And now Aiden is trying to commit suicide again. Thinking it is his only escape from Blythe and eventually becoming as mad as her. Crud, he is trying to hang himself, please let someone save him in time.Meanwhile at Mistress Mechanicha’s lair…
A steampunk-style flying ship called the Flying Fish, I love it. Of course, it is a pufferfish, he has to keep his theme. Showing about this whole thing doesn't feel right to Cattail, I hope she figures out who Aiden is and helps him out of this situation.And back at Kinosoo’s lab…
Not heavy enough to hang himself, good, you need to live and yourself get justice. Crap, using his wings to fly and strangle himself with the noose, not good. The noose gave before Aiden could black out, now try and figure out how to escape instead of killing yourself. It isn't hopeless no matter what your situation.Once again, we're back at Mistress Mechanicha’s lair…
No pain from the force field, interesting. Dents in the floor from pounding them in frustration, let me guess, energizer who gains strength and durability.
This is the type of thinking you need to have to survive this.I would never know until it happened, and I wouldn’t get that chance if I stayed here under Blythe’s thumb.
Darn it, perimeter alarm and Blythe is trying to use the teleport patches to get them out of there before they can be caught. A small explosion rocked the cellar behind them, what did that? About time Aiden snapped and fought back against Blythe, glad to see him realize he made mistakes, but no one deserves what was done to him.
Breaking free and slamming into Blythe hard enough to knock her through a window to the ground outside, go Aiden! Blythe grows to 8' tall and tries to crush Aiden, but he can stop her foot.
Then you never really loved him, you were just obsessed with him. Glowing pink bunnies formed out of pink dust, are these Hobgoblins or something else? And they attack Blythe, I have to know what they are, cute and dangerous.“If I can’t have you, I’d rather see you dead, Aiden!”
They vanish with a popping sound when destroyed, have to be Hobgoblins. Aiden going to charge Blythe along with the last pink bunny, but she looks behind him and flees saying this isn't over between them. Crap, Aiden is exhausted and falling, somebody save him!
A huge swarm of big, bug-like robots, ack! A fight Cattail is least suited for, oh boy.Ten minutes earlier…
Power limits suck when they hit you hard. Ant-like robots and Cattail and her teammates are making quick work of them, bigger spider-like drones, and Chinook can tank them, but no extremely hot air or risk a wildfire. Good to see heroes aware of their environment.Her ability to fade into the background was a psychic effect and wouldn’t work on robots, even if she did have cover, so her usual style was out of the question.
75 kph, Bronco is fast! So that is what the fight between Aiden and Blythe looked like to those who didn't notice Aiden due to his small size. Oh, good, Cattail heard Blythe call Aiden by his name. Dang, left a robot double of Mechanicha behind as a bomb and almost got Cattail with it, her instincts save her.
Aiden thinks he is falling to his death from 5' in the air, Baby's Breath cries out for her daughter, but Cattail made it out unharmed.
I think it was a robot decoy, but if it wasn't that means her own daughter left her to die, that is cold. Calling in that they are mopping up the robots and Aiden shocks them by stating who he is.“Explosive devise… took out Mechanicha and whatever devise she was attached to. She… she was just sitting there peacefully with her eyes closed. Should call in emergency services, the MSA, and RCMP.”
I knew it, the pink bunnies were hobgoblins and Aiden is a Wizard among other power traits.
At least he got that out so they have a place to work from when Aiden wakes up.“Mechanicha cloned Blythe… put me inside to suffer… killed my body in front of me…” That was all that I managed to get out before everything started to go hazy and I lost consciousness.
2 weeks in a hospital, I would be going stir crazy after a few days. Until he is strong enough to be released or a fix is found for him, oh brother. Working with a Bio-Devisor on staff to help him with the whole clone situation, I hope Aiden told them the warnings he was given about trying to transfer him to a new body. Told the whole story a dozen times, good grief, are you trying to make him suicidal again by having to relive that.Calgary, Alberta
Foothills Medical Centre – MSA Special Cases Wing
Friday, September 23rd, 2016 – 9:45 a.m.
Less than a 2% chance of surviving a similar process to manifesting again, might as well say a higher chance of winning the lottery. Darn it, so Mechanicha used the same process to transfer herself into a new body, this sucks. Blythe the only source of what Mechanicha looks like now and she sure won't talk.
In better health and shape, I know you hate this body, but it is yours now. Dr. Hager, MSA-mandated psychologist, good woman and just who Aiden needs right now. Visits from the Cowtown Heroes, mostly Baby's Breath and Cattail. I knew Cattail would have good advice. Live and find happiness to spite Blythe, even if that is all that keeps you going it is a good reason to live. Bringing Mechanicha and her daughter to justice, before they destroy more lives.
A snack for some is a feast for others.
A very kind nurse. And I bet it isn't just the cheap fabric of the doll dresses causing a rash.One of the nurses had taken pity on me and made me a sort of hospital gown from a white silk handkerchief that she had found in a secondhand shop.
Cattail and Baby's Breath are there to move Aiden, it is no longer safe for him at the hospital, I bet it is because of his former parents. Flowers with a crumpled note written in blood, a picture of his tomb, and the note saying "Your suffering has only begun." Shit, Blythe knows where he is. Aiden's parents refused to believe the truth, predictable of them.
A new identity as Baby's Breath's adopted daughter would mean Cattail aka Danielle will be like a big sister to Aiden. MSA testing facility to get a MID, prepare for annoying tests! Set up at Whateley with an MSA scholarship to keep him safe from Mechanicha and her daughter, they are moving fast. Good thing they can sneak Aiden out in the shoulder bag.
A PK shell for strength and protection, 816 kg aka almost 1800 lbs.! Training by Baby's Breath in using her magic will help out a lot. D'oh! You had Danielle pick your codename, you are lucky you got stuck with Sprite.Calgary, Alberta
Ministry of Supernatural Affairs Testing Office
Friday, September 23rd, 2016 – 4:52 p.m.
I would ask that too after the bad joke from Bob. Exemplar 2, Wizard 2, and PK 3, a little powerhouse with a lot of potential.Bob seemed unbothered, not to mention sickeningly cheerful as he offered, “Congratulations on manifesting and getting your MID, and have a super day.”
“Is it too late to register as a supervillain?”
Dang, Aiden is going to be a powerhouse once he learns how to use his powers.Her Wizard rating is a best guess, on the low side to be safe,” Baby’s Breath clarified as she led us down a hallway. “She may be a three, but her size was making it difficult to get a proper reading from her.”
Have to keep the fact your body is a clone a secret, Aiden. Vanessa Ada Gordon, oof, a heck of a way to find out your new name. And it finally hits them all at once, how he can never be Aiden again, that life is gone and his body buried.
Right now you wish you could just make everything right for the poor kid. Crying until he passes out in Danielle's embrace.Putting a name on it, putting a name on me had made it all hit me like a steamroller. I was crushed, I couldn’t breathe, and tears started to stream down my face as my heart burned with everything that I had lost.
Woken up for dinner time by a teenage girl named Leanna saying she is her new big sister, babbling a little as she talks to Vanessa. Flying down to dinner and they are having pizza, Dani is a terrible cook according to Leanna. The tip of a slice and a piece of pepperoni were enough for Vanessa.Calgary, Alberta
The Gordon Residence
Friday, September 23rd, 2016 – 4:52 p.m.
Baby's Breath is Marie, a pretty name.
That isn't a parent, that is someone who has children as status symbols and "things" to show off.I had spent more time with her over the past two weeks than I had with my birth mother in the past two years. My parents’ social lives were more important to them than I was. I was mostly raised by servants, and only trotted out when they needed to show themselves as ‘caring parents’ for some reason.
Marie is even more impressive to me now. Those artifact bracelets sound like something that would take a lifetime for a mortal magic wielder to make. Danielle is an Avatar and her spirit's name is Xuě-fēng, intriguing.She was a slightly older version of Leanna and she wasn’t a mutant like me and Dani. She was actually a Witch, came from a long line of Witches, and she was training Leanna to be her successor one day because it was a legacy that had been passed from mother to daughter for a long time.
Aww, not everyone has the same aptitudes, Danielle is straight forward and sometimes that is needed more. A tour of the house after dinner, a lived-in home. Nice family photos. Dangerous artifacts vault, I wonder how many organizations have those around the world. Sarah, I wonder who that girl she met is and where she is now as well. Oh crap, a newly manifested mutant was almost beaten to death, and always wondered if it was Sarah.
Nightly patrol, how much crime and supervillain activity do they get up there? A tiny door within the door with a platform for Vanessa to use to get into her and Leanna and her room, aww. No attic for Vanessa, Leanna calls them her sister already. Building Vanessa her own room but a work in progress, they went above and beyond for her. Converting a cabinet into her own little house, aww. I'm tearing up here, she only just meet them 2 weeks ago and they have been kinder to her than her birth parents.
Vanessa thinks they are eager to get rid of her because she is being sent to Whateley, no, they love you and wish for you to get the best help you can with your situation and powers. Depressed because of all those thoughts and worries, she needs things to keep her mind occupied. Aww, no wonder, the rush to get her there once she was accepted, everyone so busy.Calgary, Alberta
The Gordon Residence
Tuesday, September 27th, 2016 – 9:45 a.m.
Having to be comforted by Leanna because of seeing her own reflection and who she looks like, I hope they got her set up with Bellows as she needs his help. Laptop and cell phone so she can call home. Even telling her they aren't trying to get rid of her Vanessa is trying to make up excuses to stay home. Oh, Vanessa, everyone deserves a second chance especially if they feel remorse for their past mistakes.
Ack! Dani, what have you done, saying that to a Whateley Academy student ensures they will get into a lot of trouble.“Take care of yourself, squirt, and don’t get into too much trouble,” she replied, picking me up to give me the gentlest hug that she could, just like Leanna had earlier.
This story was heartbreaking for the first half, Aiden was abducted, and transformed, thinking he might deserve this and then finding out what he did to Blythe isn't even close enough to deserve this fate. Then they rip any kind of hope out from under him by killing his old body in front of him, tormenting him, and then reveal Mistress Mechanicha probably couldn't have put him back into his old body without killing him anyways.
To watch him have to endure this, then see him sink into despair and try to kill himself several times was heartwrenching. And Aiden's actions to drive Blythe away to protect her from his parents might have made her snap, but the way she acted toward him, her obsession, sneaking into his room, continuing to try and force their relationship even after that, show she already unhinged before that. How she acted after having him captive, I don't know what to diagnose her with, but she has serious psychological issues and was taking it out on someone who couldn't fight back.
I was so glad when Aiden discover his powers and fought back, especially as the heroes came to take down Mistress Mechanicha and her daughter right then. The powers were a mystery at first, but the hobgoblins, it is hard to forget the likes of hobgoblins no matter their form after reading past stories with them. Loved they were pink bunnies.
The recovery at the hospital, the power testing, and the adoption, I'm so glad that the newly named Vanessa now has a family that truly cares for and loves her. The place of her own being made, I could feel happiness from Vanessa.
Going to Whateley Academy, I'm glad Marie picked up on what Vanessa was feeling and assured her she is still a part of the family and they aren't getting rid of her. I hope Vanessa can make a lot of friends at Whateley, she deserves happiness and to learn to forgive herself for her own mistakes. I can't wait to read the next story with her in it.
Thank You for the story comments appreciated and help me know they are being read and liked. Note: My story comments can't nor are trying to replace reading the stories, simply my way of enjoying them and letting the authors know I enjoy them.
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- Dan Formerly Domoviye
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Amethyst was wondering if she should show a suicide attempt, and I got a funny image in my head of a fairy hanging herself, then a few minutes later she reaches up to scratch her head and says "Well this is boring."
And Baby's Breath appeared before in No Good Deed. Amethyst had already started her story when I wrote my short, and I saw the perfect place to do a cameo.
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*big hugs*
Amethyst
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Your commentaries are always entertaining, and I look forward to each one. Aiden made mistakes, and would take them back if he (now she) could. Blythe was already a little mentally unhinged before, and his pushing her away the way he did and her mother enabling her only made it worse.
This was a hard story to write, but from the beginning I wanted to show how little mistakes can change a life in big ways. I wanted to show Blythe as insane, as well as her mother, and I thought about how she would take the bullying and rejection one she finally snapped completely and give him a taste of his own medicine while being obsessed with him and still thinking she was in love.
Vanessa will likely still deal with depression and self-loathing for quite some time, but it was nice to have her start realizing that she didn't deserve it and start to fight back. I wanted to keep the powers a bit vague at first but then I had the idea for summoning hobgoblins, and someone suggested dust bunnies. I sort of ran with it while trying to make them both adorable and super creepy.
It was nice to start having things turn around for her near the end, I put her through so damn much torture, getting to that point. Forgiving herself is going to be hard, but she seems to have people who want to help her do that and find some happiness, which I thought was a nice way to end such a grim story.
*big hugs*
Amethyst
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As for Baby's Breath and the other heroes, they came from a night of joking about possible Alberta heroes, as did Angus Oxford, the bull in the china shop. Some of us thought that they needed their own story, so I decided to split the PoV on this one to showcase them a bit,
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