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- Carry On (Part 1) by Fiddlerfox
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Carry On (Part 1) by Fiddlerfox
Carry On (Part 1)
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Micro scenes and bad ideas are freely adoptable
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- Fiddlerfox
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Is he though? May want to double check Laura and the Chocolate Factory pt 3realized what chocolate that was, he should count himself lucky for only being able to afford one bar.
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Is he though? May want to double check Laura and the Chocolate Factory pt 3realized what chocolate that was, he should count himself lucky for only being able to afford one bar.
lower dose is better, might go away on its own,
Micro scenes and bad ideas are freely adoptable
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Below is a stream of conscious commentary I type up as I read the story. There will be details from the story included in it. If you have not read the story yet and don't wish to have details of it spoiled, read no further.
Carry On, Part 1 comments
Who is this soul out on such a cold night with such clothes on? Two police squad cars and a black van came, and the Jones's argued again, placed with them just two months ago and this keeps happening, ouch. What the heck! Police and MCO treating him like this just because he is a mutant, this is all kinds of wrong. Even criminals if they cooperate tend to get treated better than this. Shannon Dougherty is a 14-year-old boy and a mutant.September 26th, 2016, New York City, Evening
Hell's Kitchen and Shannon knows what not to do. Stayed after school to run for an hour and was good at it too. Fairly lean build, longer hair than the average for a guy, face isn't masculine, but not feminine either, uh oh. Walking with his running shoes worn over his neck like that is, a good way to prevent wear and tear.September 26th, 2016, New York City, Afternoon
His favorite book is The Hobbit and read the 1st 2 of the trilogy, hmm. Daydreaming, a fun activity to get away from your troubles. One strand of hair that is platinum blond, came down with a fever a few weeks ago, oh boy, already started changing. His eyes were a bit greener, should have gone to the doctor with a fever like that but I bet the Jones just didn't want to pay. Hannah Jenkins, a cute skater punk with a green pixie cut and band shirts, baseline with dyed hair, or another mutant who is hiding it, I wonder.
Yikes, Mrs. Jones sounds like she is only a foster parent for the money. So little furniture in Shannon's room, and listening to music drones out the noise. Mr. Jones yelling at Shannon like that over holes in the wall, when him not fixing the door's latch is the reason why. Oh no, not someone like this. Creep goes to punch him and Shannon activates his power without knowing and sneaks Mr. Jones flying hard.
Shannon packed up everything that is his in the backpack and leaves the apartment, Sitting out in front of the apartment building and waiting to be picked up, he expected CPS to come, not the police and MCO.
Locked in a cage in the back of an MCO van, Shannon is shot by some sort of pistol by an MCO agent, what the hell! Tranq dart and a black sack over his head, if they try to disappear him I hope the MCO gets caught. Waking up in that kind of room and in the custody of NYPD, just what do they have planned for Shannon?Unknown date, New York City, Unknown time
Wakes up and is taunted about being in a padded cell and calls him a mutant, I can't stand bigots. Officer Richter, an MCO agent, has given his report to the police, and a female officer is ticked at him, basically telling him to get out of there, but more polite than I would have. Lieutenant Williams is the female officer, and Richter calls Shannon a dangerous mutant, ugh.
I like her.“He is a child! We have taken custody of him, we Thank you for your Assistance since we all know you're just trying to make up for your wonderful showing in Central Park a few weeks ago. You Are Free To Leave.”
Watching things like you, Richter, mutants are human beings, you bigoted a**hole! And Davis calls him an asshole, can't do that in the office even if he is one, rats. Ouch, Shannon already resigned to such a fate due to being a foster kid, the system needs fixing. Who tells foster kids these kinds of things instead of encouraging them, to try to live a better life despite where they are at right now.
*eyes bug out* This is how foster kids live, this isn't right, the system is failing them. Our society has failed them and needs to change already. A 14-year-old shouldn't have these kinds of fears and thoughts. His mom abandoned him at 8, good lord. Shannon thinks that just because he is a foster kid they will blame him for what happened, I want to strangle those who have made him believe that.
So cynical he doesn't believe Lieutenant Williams, this hurts to watch.“It wasn't your fault,” she said. I doubted she believed that. “We'll get you sorted out and taken care of.”
Left alone until his social worker arrives, and it looks like someone who has been at this so long they have lost the will to fight anymore. But the first words out of his mouth are asking if the cuffs are necessary, I have a good feeling about him.
About time someone spoke up for Shannon, he is a kid and they are treating him like a dangerous criminal who tried to kill someone on purpose. Wait, feeling something as the officer moves the cuffs, annoyance or disgust, is Shannon a receptive empath or telepath?“Could you at least put his hands in front of him? When's the last time you offered him something to eat or drink since you've taken him into custody?”
A 3-inch file on Shannon for just 6 years in the system, yikes. A cup of water and a Hostess fruit pie, at least it is food. 9 am, 15 hours or more without anything to eat or drink, the police failed at their job until reminded. A new placement in just a couple of hours, he works fast. Mr. Tannhauser, an interesting name.
A dark and bleak outlook on society, I hope someone helps Shannon soon. A shorter blonde woman and a man that looks like he is the inspiration for the guy on all the Hitman game covers, intriguing pair. Agent Grace and Agent Carter, I wouldn't have resisted the comment either. Oh boy, Shannon attracted the attention of those forcefully recruiting mutant psychics. Or it sounds like that group is involved. They are there to take him someplace for his safety. Get his stuff and need to get Shannon something to eat on their way out.September 27th, 2016, New York City, Afternoon
New York-style pepperoni pizza, he got the good stuff. On the way out of the city in a 4-door sedan and being followed by 3...something or other, Shannon is told to suit up, eep. With a bulletproof helmet and vest, they aren't taking any chances. 3 unmarked dark cars give chase as Agent Carter tries to lose them. Shoot at by agents in suits and sunglasses, Agent Grace fires back, and Shannon has a pressure building, things are about to get better or a lot worse.September 27th, 2016, New York City, Afternoon
Agent Grace that calm and in control, taking careful shots, no action movie stuff here. A grunt from Carter, gritted teeth, I'm guessing he got hit. He is bleeding from the shoulder, and the stress of it all gets to Shannon.
And with that the first car has a wrecked hood and is flipped hard, dang. One of the other cars swerved into the median and its front end is wrecked, and the other car swerved and fell into a roll, brutal. And Shannon has no idea how he did all that, I see a lot of power testing in his future.I got up from the floor, glared at the lead car and shouted at it, “Fuck off!”
Staying in a shitty hotel and the noise of cars passing by is just white noise to Shannon, used to it a life of living in a big city. Agent Carter bandaging his shoulder, good, so it isn't too severe. Too busy thinking about all the shit he has been through the past couple of days to care about how attractive Agent Grace is, aww.September 27th, 2016, New York State, Evening
Time to get cleaned up and rest for the night, Agent Grace keeping tabs on the public stories, I wonder if the car chase gets in the news.
Out in the boonies and Shannon does a quote from The Fellowship of the Ring which Carter says is a good book.September 28th, 2016, Whateley Campus, Afternoon
I've never heard Whateley Academy referred to like this before. Agent Grace went to Whateley, yay for alumni.A short while later a college campus that time forgot came into view. It looked like the set of an 80s movie, only by itself in the middle of no where.
Thank you, Agent Carter, for saying exactly what Shannon needs to hear.“You don't have to be who they think you are. You walk your own road; they don't get to choose it for you. Take it from someone who's been there.”
*facepalms* Thinking that is what the school buildings are named for, good grief. Now, who is this girl, if not for the chewing gum part and attitude I would think it was Tanya due to the hair. A donor phone and I.T. department to get a laptop, and he perks up at the mention of a library job. Katie Briggs, she's new.September 28th, 2016, Schuster Hall, Afternoon
Vanessa Gordon comes flying in and now has to deal with the torture of bureaucracy. Refitted old Tink uniforms for her to wear until she can get proper outfits made for her at Rogers'. Maintenance job since she is so small, good job to have. Doing anything at her size just increases the frustration of normal bureaucracy. And intro to Shannon and why they are at Whateley including a quick summary of what happened to Vanessa. Sprite and says to take your pick on what to call her, guess she has adjusted more or so it seems.
Shannon helps Sprite to Hawthorne and her room, then goes to Emerson Cottage and his assigned room, 217. The tour guide is not around, and hasn't met his roommate yet, what is going on? Geeze, who is the pervert slob they have stuck Shannon with? His roommate was supposed to meet him and give him the tour, but forgot because he was catching thermals, sounds like a surfer bro, but for flying.September 28th, 2016, Emerson Cottage, Evening
Blake Skyler from California and a flier. A packet of stuff Shannon needs and they gave it to Blake, good grief. And he picks the best spot in the cafeteria for babe-watching, not sure if I like this guy or if his whole bit is an act and he is not to be trusted.
Heh, finding out all the Exemplar stuff isn't just made up by 'babe watching' will change your view of the world a bit. Great, he thinks all the hot girls are stupid stereotypes. Which blue-haired girl is the one Shannon is referring to, can't quite figure it out.September 28th, 2016, Emerson Cottage, Night
He sees Laura and thinks because she is with a clique of friends on one of the upper levels she is too cool for people like him, arrgggh. Crystal Hall is the best school cafeteria in the world. Ouch, not able to sleep because all the white noise he grew up with is missing.
The Tunnels are good for avoiding people, but beware the bullies who like to lurk in them. Meeting his "Guardian" at the Tunnels shop, Gianni Rossi. Deli meat from Jersey, good deli meat must be savored. Half a glass of wine, sir, you are going to give Shannon a habit.September 29th, 2016, Whateley Campus, Afternoon
Smart man. Already teasing each other, this will be good for Shannon.“Because I've been you,” he said. “Close enough to. Grew up with nothing; people just pushing you aside and walking past you. Figured you'd rather have someone that at least had a clue.”
Shannon in the Lord of the Rings setting, interacting with the characters, just what is going on here? All that and jolted out of the intense daydream by Dr. Chance in the Psychic Arts classroom, uh oh. The task of memorizing a penny.October 4th, 2016, Kirby Hall, Morning
What is the purpose of this task, is it to help them in developing their memory and visualization skills or something else?We were supposed to be really learning and focusing on our coin, getting all of its details down by rote.
Ah, interesting exercise.We were supposed to visualize our penny, and focus our will on it. For me, that apparently meant make it move.
So he could have other talents, cool. Having those thoughts about his power, about the penny, Shannon has a lot of issues to work through to gain control over his powers.They had told me I was psychic, specifically a strong telekinetic with a degree of empathy. At least those were talents I had displayed so far.
What the! They assigned him to a janitor, he wanted to work at the library. Yay! With determination and persistence, you can do anything.
Oh boy, did more than make the penny float.“Hey, why are all our backpacks stacked...” I heard from behind me as the door latched.
Ouch, Blake can't use the Icarus codename because an upperclassman got it first. Good grief, he doesn't know about Daedalus or how Icarus died in the myth, Blake, you disappoint me. Silver Surfer, no, we don't want Marvel down our throats, not even if Ayla would be on your side. Sky Dude...*facepalm*October 6th, 2016, Emerson Cottage, Afternoon
Having to de-stress from all the emotions in Crystal Hall, I hope he learns how to shield soon. The description of how his empathy works, sounds annoying and painful at times. Too damn quiet, I know what he means. Tim aka Lighthouse, I wonder why he has that codename. One of the RA's and in dorm room 240, and he asks what is wrong. White noise app and Shannon has never heard of them before. White noise app with city noises figures there is something for everyone.October 6th, 2016, Emerson Cottage, Night
One of Tim's talents is to know where he needs to be, handy power. Yes, look for the 3rd book in the Whateley Library. And his first good night of sleep since coming to Whateley, Tim's talent must let him help a lot of students out.
Shannon daydreaming of being in the LofR's setting again and accompanying the Fellowship on their adventure. It is interesting to see it from the perspective of someone who can so fully place themselves in the world. And saved Boromir, nice change.October 7th, 2016, Emerson Cottage, Afternoon
Shannon is working in the library and filling books, and Mrs. Carnahan asks if he is finished yet. Nice older lady. Though who is the other librarian Shannon finds a little creepy? Ah, I remember going to the library and feeling the same, the feel of a book in your hands can't be beaten. Practicing by moving a book with his telekinesis, is hard work, but I bet Dr. Chance will be shocked at his progress.
Seesh, no day is useless if you use your time right. Ouch, thinking he is eternally the new kid because he started a month late. Thinking he isn't as social as his cottage mates and thus doesn't fit in, please, someone reach out to him and have a serious chat already. Oh no, stuck in a routine and possibly depressed, get him to see a counselor already!October 13th, 2016, Emerson Cottage, Afternoon
Pockets of joy from those leaving Crystal Hall and annoying Shannon. Oh no, it is the Punk Pink Penguin incident and Shannon is one of the two males who become females because of it, isn't he? Shannon, just because people are enjoying chocolate doesn't mean that money can buy happiness. Let yourself be happy, you don't need something to do that, just find some true friends and stop thinking everyone is just looking out for themselves.
$15 a bar, I can't recall if the price was mentioned in the Laura stories, stupid memory. And with a bite of the chocolate Shannon is happy for the first time in a long time, just how can the chocolate do that?
Thank You for the story comments appreciated and help me know they are being read and liked. Note: My story comments can't nor are trying to replace reading the stories, simply my way of enjoying them and letting the authors know I enjoy them.
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- Maladyusted
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- Posts: 26
- Thank you received: 8
Well, I thought Shannon was gonna be a girl's name. ... Getting the top-half, in part 2, maybe?
----
Foster Kid... I thought it was just an assumption that he was a mutant and he just had powers but is actually something else because of his ancestry, but the hair and eyes indicate that people are probably right that he's a mutant.
Hannah Jenkins... Gonna be important?
...
“Mom ditched me when I was eight,”
Oooh.
...
Lieutenant Williams seems to be a light of hope... So's Mister Tannhauser. Are they just nice? Or nice and also specialized in the mutant cases?
Is Shannon's yearly change of foster parents just bad luck? Or magical curse or something? Annual things are suspiciously clockwork.
...
"I felt a... something... while he did so. Annoyance? Disgust?"
Empath and Kinetic Energy control or something...?
...
“I don't know where Jason Bourne is,” I said to the blond as she walked in. She smiled slightly.
Oh, she gets that often!
...
Agents! Of who?
...
“Probably because you shat where your boss eats,” I said. “Everyone knows not to shit where you eat, most people forget not shitting where your boss eats.”
Lucky guess? Or Empath powers getting intuitive?
...
Yum!! Pizza! Reading a lot of that today. Heh. Wasamon ref, etc.
...
"If I only I knew how the fuck I did it..."
You're smart. Just gotta connect the dots.
...
Now, why do they want to kill Shannon so bad? Am I right and he's more important than he knows? Parents tossed him into hiding, etc?
...
"I turned around and looked over at him suspiciously, trying to figure out what he was getting at. "Thanks..." I said, almost with a question as to what I could have done to make him bother to think so."
Wow, really? Big blindspot about how useful them powers are.
...
"I couldn't help but be reminded of Frodo and Bilbo, and felt the words come to my lips"
Oh hey! More LOTR refs! Cool!
...
Grace and I both shot him a look of surprise. “What?” he asked, “I read.”
Lol that they both look at him. Guess he doesn't scream "reader" or "nerd" etc.
...
"A short while later a college campus that time forgot came into view."
What? They're there? ... *Checks section header*. Ooh, I'm distracted by a video or that this story is good enough to distract me! Congrats!
...
"Grace glanced back at me for a moment, “Some of the best years of my life were here at Whateley. There are people here who can help you, and all the kids here will be just like you.”
That sounded like the same amount of garbage as a Corporate mission statement. Color me not impressed."
Well, not *just* like him, but a bit more similar, and that massive damage ability with a long charge time, etc. Damage control is possibly an issue.
...
“Hey kid,” Carter said unexpectedly. I turned and looked at him. “You don't have to be who they think you are. You walk your own road; they don't get to choose it for you. Take it from someone who's been there.”
That was... unexpected. I nodded slowly, “Thanks.”
Oh, both agents went to the school? Shipping them a bit more than usual then.
...
"He nodded back and I turned to walk towards whatever new chapter of bullshit was coming."
Well, not a new chapter, but a big section header!
...
"School building names are dumb. I mean, who cares what fancy name they slap on a hall, if it's really just the math building? Most of these things are just named after some wealthy donor with small genitals who was compensating for something."
Well, a bit assumptive, aren't ya?
...
"Apparently I was supposed to get a welcome kit... honestly it was sounding like a drug deal at this point. Go here, wait for the mysterious package, they'll know you're coming."
Well, you did just get hauled here in a high-speed chase evasion, etc. Something's hinky?
...
"Her hair was in a pixie cut and dyed a lavender color."
Betting it's not dyed.
...
After a brief rummage in a cabinet, a wrapped shirt and pair of pants were placed on the counter, along with some socks, belt, and a pair of shoes. “You can download the class schedules and information to your phone by...”
“I don't have one.”
She stopped and blinked at me, paused a moment, then blew a bubble rather loudly. “Hunh, alright.. it's okay, they've got donor phones.” Box of phone with accessories was added to the pile. “Let me guess... no laptop yet?”
I shook my head, “I travel light.”
He's probably thinking that she thinks he's poor, but hey, Agents rescue kids in trouble all the time, and tech is something that can be tracked, so lacking it makes sense.
...
"Katie Briggs"
Never heard of her before. Is her lavender hair dyed for real as a lucky empath guess from Shannon? Or is it actually growing lavander?
...
Fairy! Oh, wait. Not Tink. We're in Gen 2. But apparently the school used Tink as a model for future fairies.
...
“The school will pay for two uniforms from the boutique when you can go there to get properly measured,”
Nice! Is that new for Gen 2? Phase probably would fund that.
...
"I can get into tight places and my PK shell should keep me safe.”
PK? Also like Tink? She *probably* didn't have a kid....? Did someone keep using Burgermeister's machines on girls?
...
“Was an asshole to my best friend so she murdered me and put me in a clone of herself so she could torture me for the rest of my life.”
What. ... What. How many mutant fairies are out there? Isn't it hard for the transformation because there's so much reconfiguration that needs to happen?
...
“Shannon. So, did you need a hand carrying that?”
Awww! Chivalry! Ship?
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"I was apparently supposed to have gotten a tour guide, or met my roommate, or well.. anything. Wild guess as to if that happened or not"
What happened? Bad luck? Hmmmmmmm.
...
"Skyler, flier."
Rhymer!
...
"I had spotted the office girl from earlier, Katie Briggs. She was pretty cute and hadn't seemed horribly stuck up or anything. Might have been the dyed hair; I was kind of a sucker for the punk thing."
Well. "Hannah Jenkins" callback!
...
"Hot in the regular sense, not the freaky Exemplar way."
Also not on fire.
...
Speaking of punk, there was one totally hot blue haired girl. Hot in the regular sense, not the freaky Exemplar way. She looked like she gave exactly zero fucks about all of the school BS, wearing her tie around one wrist and rocking fishnets with combat boots. Definitely looked like someone I'd love to talk to.
In terms of blue though, she took second place to the girl who was frickin' blue (da ba dee)
Interesting, these two spotted!
...
Well it was shit. It was just quiet. No cars, no people, no horns, no freeway. All the sounds of the city that never sleeps were gone, and it was just so wrong. I kept focusing on it and just couldn't relax.
It was going to be a long night.
linebreak shadow
September 29th, 2016, Whateley Campus, Afternoon
Well, he made it through the day.
,,,
Interesting, cool advisor! That Empathy is acting up again?
...
"October 4th, 2016, Kirby Hall, Morning"
I was wondering what was with the LOTR stuff!
Working his psychic powers causes his thoughts to drift as an effect? Probably not. And he got his powers defined now!
Penny details! Nice!
...
"It didn't bring my mom back."
Ah...
And rage-activated powers... That tracks. Gotta really learn control then. Best to stop practice now and get control in quick...
...
"How did he only know half the myth? Ya know what, I didn't want to know."
That sure is weird. Who fed the name to him? ... Uh... What upperclassman decided they want to be Icarus???
...
"I rubbed my forehead slightly with my fingers hoping it would help send some intelligence into him."
Ha!
...
“Hey, I know, I'll be Sky Dude!”
He was serious. He was fucking serious. I opened and closed my mouth a few times before shaking my head. “That's... you know what, go for it. That's pretty perfect for you.”
WOOOW. Hope Shannon doesn't get burned for this.
...
"he felt genuine and was an RA and well, I knew where he slept."
Getting some good use out of the Empathy!
White noise! Reference to that radio metaphor!!
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"Just know where I need to be."
Niiice! Lighthouse! Good power for an RA!
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"I tried the app later that night and for the first time since being at Whateley I was able to get some good sleep."
WOOO!
...
"October 7th, 2016, Emerson Cottage, Afternoon"
More LOTR... Time's off for Psychic Class, so is he just reading?
Nope, at work!
...
"Stay away from the light, Carol Anne"
Ooh! Poltergeist! Had to look that up.
...
"I focused on the book intently, trying to get it to move over towards its spot on the shelf. This was... less than easy. Definitely harder than a penny.
But I was going to be somebody, and you didn't become somebody overnight. No way other than hard work."
Yay! Using powers calmly!
...
"I was getting pockets of sheer... joy radiating from people. With as down as I was feeling it was decidedly irritating.'
Well, at least he's not carried along their wave?
...
"I looked at it in my hand, wrapped with its little package. I took a breath and began to unwrap it. To be honest, even knowing that literally every person who tried it was radiating balls of happiness I still expected to be ripped off somehow. It was just the way my life went.
Still, all the same... I deserved to be happy too. I brought the bar up to my mouth, took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and bit it. And for the first time in a long time, I was happy."
That's some GOOOD Chocolate! Woo!
Was Malady5 on Discord, but got hacked, so I gave up on it, so now I'm Dames4.
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- Carry On (Part 1) by Fiddlerfox