New? Arriving? (09 Aug 2021)
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A Strange Fairytale
- Dan Formerly Domoviye
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Part 1 can be found here .
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- Dan Formerly Domoviye
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- Posts: 288
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And I think it might even be better than part 1.
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Micro scenes and bad ideas are freely adoptable
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- Dan Formerly Domoviye
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- Posts: 288
- Thank you received: 253
When I started writing this I made a rule, most of her stories would need at least one funny/happy scene for every sad/horrific scene. As a psychological horror/comedy, I think it works.
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Below is a stream of conscious commentary I type up as I read the story. There will be details from the story included in it. If you have not read the story yet and don't wish to have details of it spoiled, read no further.
A Strange Fairytale Part 1 comments
The robot mailbox designed to capture the victims of its master, I remember this from the fanfic version. Poor thing really needs something to keep it from getting bored.March 8th, 2007
Miami, Florida
Miss Powerful, same codename as the fanfic version, nice to see you kept that. Bwahaha, the story she tells the MCO agent about her parents, I remember that as well, too good. The outfit is just too perfect for someone with her personality.
Oof, I hate knowing the significance of the name Teri already.“K, I'll be there in five minutes, I want to call Teri. See ya soon. Love ya.”
8k pound bench press at 12 years old and only manifested 2 weeks ago, yikes. *facepalms* She wants to be a part of the Cadet Crusaders, if she only knew what most of them are really like. Teri, you should have told her to squish the mailbox. Captured because she looked in the mail slot, if you suspect something don't go near it. I know she is only 12, but stranger danger should apply to strange objects as well.
Ebidium bracelet and anklets if I recall correctly, are still impressive to prevent her from moving. What happened in over a decade since the events of A Good Man to break Burgermeister's mind this badly that he thinks making an amusement park with transformed victims is a good idea? The fake accent and his insistence on using it seem connected to whatever drove him over the bend. Stop giving the unstable supervillain ideas.
His brilliant plan is a flying robot penguin dropping off a note about hating their parents and running away to join the circus, doesn't even have the physical sex of the child right on the note. Burgermeister seriously needs a lot of help.
He had people look at his plan and they didn't think to call in the authorities to have him locked up for a psychiatric evaluation, good grief. Okay, bracelets might not be ebidium, designed for bricks like her, darn. The transformation scene, her struggle to break free, breaking the machine, and the effects it might have had on her transformation, still as horrifying to read as before.But there were all these forms to fill out, and people telling me it was dangerously unsafe, reckless, insane, and other not nice things.
Rose Blossom woke her up, calling her Bell Flower, and getting her to fly around with her. Denies she is a fairy when told she is one, Rose Blossom states all the details that make her a fairy. Getting a look at her new form she has a flash of her memories before the transformation, I remember this but I hope this time it means there is a chance to help her recall her true identity.
And she thinks being a fairy is cool, uh oh. Rose Blossom thinks Burgermeister is nice, the brainwashing process is thorough. Starts to remember her wanted codename of Princess Powerful, only the Princess part comes through. And now the significance of the name Teri from earlier comes up, taking it as her own name as she recalls part of their last conversation. She remembers being a girl and a mutant, good. But she thinks her powers made her a fairy, d'oh.
Memory flash with important details missing, I hate Burgermeister for doing this to innocents, but from what we saw in A Good Man he used to be different. Pity him for the mind lost. Fairy Lightning Strike, eep. And good, Teri definitely broke the machine that transformed her. The airship reveal, still scary in the fact superheroes would have a hard time tracking such a base. And goodie, Teri remembers Burgermeister's voice and doesn't like him.
Bwahaha, the argument between Rose Blossom and Burgermeister over whether he said Fantastic Valley or Enchanted Valley, she Bugs Bunny'd him, classic. And it sounds like she has done so before, I'm guessing the brainwashing isn't complete and some small part of the person Rose Blossom used to be is fighting back in her own way. Crossed fingers under her hair when she promises not to do it again, I'm guessing it is too fun not to.
Rock between the eyes, then grabs and drags him through rose and other thorny bushes before dumping him into the shallow pond, nice one, Teri.
Boy, is he in for a surprise."Because I don't like you. And you have a stupid hat, so there! Nyah!” she said, sticking her tongue out at him.
"The new brain imprint must have malfunctioned,” he muttered to himself as he left the Fairy Garden. “A few more days and it should successfully override her old personality.”
Rose Blossom is woken up by Teri's crying, Rose not knowing what to do to help Teri at first.
Even with the new brain imprint the original person, their memories, are still there somewhere. *tears up*Finally Rose Blossom shifted around, putting the smaller fairy's head on her lap. Stroking the long, curly purple hair, she began to sing a song. She didn't know where the song came from, like a lot of things it just popped up from somewhere in her brain.
A lullaby, surprisingly mature voice, don't tell me Rose Blossom was someone's older sister before Burgermeister did this to her?"Good night, Teri. I'll make sure you stay happy,” she said in a surprisingly mature voice.
Teri and Rose trip Burgermeister with a vine and tie him up, this is just the beginning of his troubles and I love watching the mischief of the girls.
Teri got Rose calling Burgermeister Burger Face instead, the start of the mutiny. Teri has a surprise for him and Rose is the distraction. Hit with a small tree by Teri, he isn't going to live this down anytime soon.
Beware the creative ones, Burgermeister, for you will regret crossing them the most.Teri frowned, she'd been aiming for the pool, but Burgermeister had only gone five feet, head first into the rose bushes. “I think I need a bigger club. Think we can ask him for a steel baseball bat, or a 9 iron?” she asked, sitting down to eat.
Oversized power armor, sword, and shield to deal with Teri, still not enough.
I swear, you used Looney Tunes as inspiration for some of these bits. Rocket pack, auto-run, and then just hit buttons at random. 15 minutes for all the chaos to end, and another 30 for Burgermeister to get out of the ruined power armor. By this point, I would turn myself over to the authorities, confess to everything, and ask for a nice, quiet jail cell away from the crazy fairy."Rose Blossom found the ventilation pipe and knew that it was just big enough for us to crawl in after I ripped off the outer panel,” Teri explained. “Oh this is neat. Rose look at all these lights and buttons.”
Bored with beating up Burger Face, aww. Teri remembers various types of waterslides and the fun she had on them. Rose Blossom was a gadgeteer or devisor!
Dang, a gadgeteer who can work with natural materials and worked out the plans that fast, Rose is impressive. All that work so quickly by lunchtime, the excitement of a waterpark is driving them for sure.
Telling Burgermeister about making a water slide, how Rose knows how to do it, but not how she knows.
The way he glares at Teri before saying that to Rose, I think the mind imprint weakens when they tap into their mutant powers and he doesn't want Rose remembering anything.“You shouldn't do things like that Rose Blossom. Thinking like that is too hard for you. You could give yourself a headache.”
"Nope! I started to get one when I saw Teri's picture of a water slide, but as soon as I began drawing and figuring it out, I felt all better.” She jumped up to kiss his nose. “But thank you for caring about me. Can you give us some steel and a welding machine? And a pump? I have an idea how to fill a big bucket with water but it would be easier if we had a pump.”
Only know is Burgermeister realizing his mind imprint is very flawed, and the pain it is causing, at least I hope that is why he reacted this way to learning Teri is crying."I said no,” Rose Blossom said, crossing her arms in front of her. “I promised to make her happy all the time, because she cries at night. And I don't like seeing her cry, so I won't do that. Nyah!”
"Why does she cry?” Burgermeister asked, his eyes wide with disbelief.
"I don't know. She doesn't talk about it and I don't want to see her cry anymore, so I don't ask.” She pointed at him, her face screwed up into a grimace. “And if you make her cry I'll be very unhappy with you.”
Oh, crud, his next reaction, wanting to make everyone happy, boring lives bright, safe, and full of joy. He lost a lot more people he cared about over the years and it broke him, didn't he? A present to cheer up Teri, and it is a surprise, uh oh. Make something to make Teri happy and carefree like Rose Blossom, use it on Rose Blossom too. Okay, he refuses to see the harm he is doing and just thinks he can 'fix' them to be how he wants, this is extremely bad.
Days to complete and a fairy-sized water park that would impress The Professor from Gilligan's Island is made. Fun ride down the water slide for Rose first, then Teri goes down it too fast, flies off into the bushes and hits something metal, then goes unconscious, ouch. At least she learned from this mistake.
Left them alone for a week, and they got bored so started making a full amusement park, the half-built Ferris wheel at the center. There goes the 'fairy garden' look.
Fairies in a simple garden setting would get old fast, fairies building their own amusement part I would pay to see more than once. Oh great, Burgermeister is quoting Bruce Banner at Teri."My poor garden. You're supposed to be fairies! Fairies fly around, singing, dancing and looking pretty. Vhat vill the children think vhen they see t'is?” he asked, looking like he was about to cry.
T"hat we're very smart fairies,” Teri replied, snapping the branches off the tree. “Just wait until we get the Ferris wheel working, that will be something. And then we'll start on a roller coaster.
Poor Rose Blossom, not wanting them to argue and the vines not strong enough for the Ferris wheel. Rose is a gadgeteer who seems to have a similar form of it as Elaine Nalley aka Loophole, with the images of the devise upon touching it. And finding it wrong, impossible, that is a devise with no training in how technology actually works for you. And she figures out what it is for so starts destroying it, go Rose!
Saying he is going to punish them both, how he is the boss here and they will do what he says, Burgermeister didn't learn from his last beatings how bad an idea this is. Teri clobbers him and his robots drag him off, how long until he tries something again? Teri finishes the destruction of the devise, Rose still thinks Burgermeister brought it here to be destroyed, there has to be a way to reverse this brainwashing.
Rose, so many plans and ideas, no idea of how to implement them, a frustrated gadgeteer can be scary. A car run by kitchen oil. And Rose starts thinking this is wrong, pain in her head, Burgermeister, once again you make me hate you for what has been done to these girls, the pain they are going through because you refused to get yourself help before it was too late for you to recognize your own problems.
Weeks since Burgermeister has been in there, only sending robots. So many half-completed projects, Rose can't focus. The worried look Teri gives Rose, building things, tapping into her Gadgeteer trait, Teri is worried it will cause Rose pain again, isn't she.
Leaving through the door, cute to watch Rose try to turn the handle. Teri gets the door open and has to go back to tell them they are out, Rose thinks she got it up, she can be so adorable in her naivety but the reason for it still scares me.
Behind door number two is...the goblin workshop, more of Burgermeister victims. The name he gave the head goblin, Burgermeister has little creativity beyond his devises so it seems. All those people transformed...stolen from their lives, the people they know, their very memories. Burgermeister needs to be in a hospital for the criminally insane, past tense.
Break for visitors, everyone working to impress but coming off as silly. Aww, these poor souls are the ones who had to fix Burgermeister's armor after Teri and Rose broke it. The goblins and elves are afraid of Burgermeister due to his, plus think he is nice for all he has given them.
Teri had a sip of hot chocolate and now is having memories flashes of her life before all this. Time with her mother, father, and possible uncles as she rode a bike behind her mom, Going to their favorite beach, diving deep enough so she could pretend to be a mermaid, but once again details are missing. *shakes with fury*
Teri relates what she remembers, one of the goblins remembers riding a bike and being hit by a car, and the mutiny for vacations has begun. And Teri destroys the door as they go to find Burgermeister to issue their demands.
An improved transmographier, the goblins, and elves were baselines and children or young teens as well. *shakes with barely restrained rage* He thinks he is protecting them...*stopped reading for a minute to calm down*
He deliberately causes a burnout in young mutants to transform them! *avoids breaking keyboard*Channelling the burnout was no easy task. That's where he'd gone wrong with Teri, she'd damaged the process, so she hadn't gotten her full mind imprint, and her powers hadn't been reduced like they should have been, just changed.
The room still spinning for Teri, the chant going on, chocolate cake, nooo, not for Teri! Burgermeister has to face all his victims who are demanding a vacation, hah! Ugh, brushing them off with his plans for the Enchanted Valley, so glad Teri is there to help them. An anvil to the face and then dropped on his chest, the PFG protected him but once again it isn't Burgermeister's day. Blackmailed into a beach vacation tomorrow or remain pinned under the heavy anvil, his plans are poorly thought out and executed, I love seeing them fall apart thanks to Teri and Rose.
Talk about going to the beach, how much fun it will be, and Rose asks Teri if she went with her friends. She can't remember. *rage building again* Teri asks Rose to sing for her, it makes the bad dreams go away. So glad Rose and Teri are there for each other through all this.
25 kids! He turned 19 into goblins and 6 into elves, all those victims, the answers their families might never get. *eyes turn red* Teri and Rose in the inner tube are cute, at least they are having fun. Burgermeister thought the girls would run away from how he reacts to them splashing down in the water.
Teri talks about people who live at the beach, how she and Rose could do that. And more memories can back, times with her cousin Teri who she took as being her name, she can't remember her cousin's face. She danced with her cousin to music that is being played nearby, a fun memory if only she could remember the detail more clearly.
The kind of fear someone so small has to worry about, no wonder Rose wishes to stay in the fairy garden. Little Miss Powerful, Teri remembers it. *happy tears*"Because it's safe there. Everything is so big and scary outside, I don't know what I'd do if I had to live out here all the time,” she said.
Teri rolled over to look at the pink fairy. “But you said you wanted to come to the beach more often.”
"Yeah, with you. You're strong and really brave and really cool. But if you weren't here, I'd be all alone and that's really scary. There are cats, hawks, cars, big people and all sorts of other things out there, what would happen if one of them came after me?” she asked, wrapping her wings around herself.
Gaslighting them along with brainwashing...*another break to calm down*"No, Burger Face said that I was born there from a special flower. He said that we're special and are born knowing everything we need, not like human babies. Why?”
A kid named David finds them, friendly kid, and some teens told him fairies don't exist even though the 'goblins' have been telling what they are. Teri-powered inner-tube, whee! Got the teens to admit they are real, Hoggle on the skate skates almost killing himself, ow. Burgermeister trying to regain control and red in the face, Teri wishes to cool him off, ask if she can bury him in the sand, eep. Buried in the sand or carried by Teri to go swimming, I would go swimming. Dropped in the ocean, eh, he'll be okay.
Teri, you are scaring them."Yep. First I hit him in the face with it though. He was talking too much.” She didn't notice how everyone backed away from her as she kept talking.
*facepalms* That is how you go fired by Dr. Diabolik, you are lucky he let you leave intact after that stunt. H1! shows up to ruin the day, idiots. Burgermeister at least is protective of those he transformed against their will. No real ice cream, only yogurt, for Teri and Rose, so the issue with processed sugar is something all his artificial fairies have. Pulls guns on them for refusing to leave, Teri gets two of them in the ocean, Burgermeister dealing with some of the others. 2 more in the ocean by Teri and the rest on the ground by Burgermeister, Teri shows him respect and calls him by his name instead of an insult.
Rose gives the goblins much better designs to work with for a steam engine. Glad Rose is getting work and use her gift in a proper workshop finally. Teri is bored and goes wandering the hallways, every door locked, no place to really explore. A memory of a time at the beach waiting for someone, but she can't remember who without the static messing with her brain. Rescues a little girl's cat Kit out of a palm tree, falls 20 feet and isn't hurt so people start taking pictures and she has to run off.
More memories connected to times at the beach since they went there, good. Ripping an air vent off and going into the air ducts, what will Teri overhear that will upset her now? Arrows scratched in the walls of the vent to lead her back, smart girl.
He plans to turn humans into unicorns, and other animal-like creatures of myth. Now I want him dead, insane or not.One looked like a meadow with horse stalls lining one wall, clover grew everywhere. Another one looked like a jungle, a pine forest filled yet another room.
Crud, the room with the new transmogriphier and it is making Teri afraid without the full memory of why. A vacation in a lodge in winter for Christmas, nice memory and I wish Teri could recall her father clearly. Teri has taken over control of the airship thinking it is a video game due to the joystick used, oh boy.
Burgermeister takes back control before they can crash into the mountain, close one.
Yetis are confirmed as existing in the Whateley Academy Universe. Mount Everest, there is a yeti on Mount Everest. Burgermeister, give Teri some books on places that are safe to visit and which are dangerous already, save yourself some time. He is still calling that thing a present, a surprise.Teri flew to the window and saw a shaggy white ape stare at them from less than twenty feet away. It ran off shrieking in terror before she could wave at it.
Teri admits to not remembering her Mom and Dad, she doesn't want Rose telling Burgermeister about this, just between them. Teri trying to remember the superheroine she admires and wishes to be the sidekick of when she is older. Memories connected to encounters with Lightning Strike, Teri manifesting, the letter from Lightning Strike saying your future partner. He took away her life and her dreams, Burgermeister must be stopped! Teri can't even remember Lightning Strike.
Teri dancing with Rose in the gemstone room triggers a memory again. Begging her mom to let her take dance classes with her cousin Teri, saved up 54 dollars on her own, drop out of piano lessons for them, hehe, you know she wanted to by her reactions.
Asking Rose if she has had a birthday party, he doesn't even bother to find out their birthdays or celebrate them on made-up days for them. Teri and Rose having a birthday party together, all that chocolate Teri wants, duck and cover!
Additional metal grates to keep Teri out of the bridge, that is just a waste of resources at this point. Refusing their request, saying no birthday party at all, making Rose cry, then this.
He has really done it now. He tried to get Rose to go into the transmogriphier! Teri got them both out of there fast and is having PTSD due to the parts of her true self crying inside her mind. *took a minute to calm down* Burgermeister, any pity over your mental state is gone now.Burgermeister frowned at her, his innocent and often stunned expression became stern. “There vill be no birthday party. I am done listening to your demands, you can either support my goals or sit down and shut up.”
Gets the goblins and elves in on the birthday party, says Burgermeister is busy with plans elsewhere on the ship.
Teri tricked Burgermeister into showing her where the escape pods are, and how they work. Then shoved him in one and launched him off the ship into the Sahara Desert. I hope it takes him a while to get back to the airship, a few days would be good.
The elves made an ice cream machine after the beach party, vanilla and chocolate, nice. Burgermeister kept trophies from who Teri was, her tiara, mask, and MID. Talks about protecting the children and does this. Music over the intercoms, clever.
Having Aurora help her by drawing the image of someone she remembers pieces of, but not all of them. Please let this lead to a huge breakthrough for her memories. And he gaslights the elves about how they came into being too. Seeing Teri struggle to remember what her own mother looks like, this story gets more heartwrenching the more I read.
The woman in her memory breeds roses, rainbow rare rose, needs to use a cane, old woman, this is a memory of her grandmother. She lifted a table up to get at the cane, not even thinking about those who didn't know her secret. From the response, I'm guessing the man and woman are her Mom and Dad. And chocolate cake in the memory, no wonder she is obsessed with it.
Snapped out of her memory by Rose calling Teri over about chocolate cake, a six-layer cake, and a single candle for each of them to blow out. Wishing each other happy birthday, Rose and Teri dig into their cake. And both go super-hyper from it, Rose diving into her piece, Rose flying faster than normal and shouting when she talks. Superfast for Teri, everyone in slow motion, damages a house by just trying to fly over to smell some flowers.
In her sugar rush Teri remembers having brown hair and eyes at least. Rose and her tickle a poor elf, eep.As she sniffed the flowers, she noticed how pretty Aurora's blonde hair was. Jumping to the startled elf, Teri didn't notice that she had knocked down ten of the goblins that were running away from Rose Blossom who was busy trying to kiss them.
"Your hair is so pretty!” Teri shouted, wrapping herself in the glorious locks. “OH what's that!”
Holes in the goblins and elves' houses and debris all over, Burgermeister back and warns Teri about the dangers of eating sugar. Causes a hangover-like headache too apparently.
Finishing up the transmographier, he thinks of all his victims as his people, what he has done to them is nothing short of using them as parts to create new beings with how he changed their minds. A new child to protect, wait, he goes after young mutants, don't tell me his mind breaking has to do with the fate of the kids from A Good Man that happens after the story ended, or some other kids the MCO killed and he blames himself for? A kid from LA, bad idea, BM.
Teri reads Shakespeare, Rose works with the elves, and Teri is left to wonder what to do with her time right now. She spots the flying mailbox leaving the airship, flying through the vents to reach the bridge she feels a mailbox is following her, another glimpse at memories lost.
Teri arrives in time to see a black girl strapped to a chair, Teri introducing herself. Marni, pretty name and lovely orange eyes.
Must not destroy computer monitor, won't get at Burgermeister that way. Teri can't break Marni, Burgermeister had those reinforced, darn it. What Teri says to Marni, she has access to more of her memories than she realizes."I-I want to go home. A mailbox attacked me,” Marni said. She tried to move her arms, and started to cry when they didn't move.
She can't get Marni to drink, the girl is too upset. Burgermeister shows up, promises to let Marni go, and tries to send Teri on her way. But she remembers more of her past, what was done to her, and asks Burgermeister how she got them. He tries to brush her off and Teri is furious, demanding he let Marni go home right now. He is trying to transform Marni with Teri right there! A forcefield to stop any interference.
Teri is crippled by fear, her instinct telling her to flee. Marni's cry for help snaps Teri out of it and Miss Powerful to the rescue, you are about to get owned, Burgermeister. Teri tells everyone to get the escape pods as the ship is going down, about time.
That much concentrated sugar in Teri, just how much did it boost her power? And Teri starts tearing through the robots BM foolishly summoned."You hurt Rose Blossom. You hurt me. You took us from our families!” she hissed. Her eyes grew brighter as she went to Marni's bag with the open energy drink resting beside it. Picking the can up she drank it all, grabbed another one and drained that as well. Her blood felt like it was on fire, she had too much energy to contain, her body began vibrating so fast it hurt. The snarl turned into a rabid smile. Burgermeister stumbled backwards hitting the wall, his feet kept pushing him backwards sliding across the smooth metal floor. White faced, he began pressing buttons on his watch.
At least everyone is in the escape pods, this is going to get rough. Rose goes to the bridge to get Teri only to see everything trash, Teri fighting BM, and Marni on the floor untransformed but still strapped to the chair. Rose tries to figure out how to free Marni as she yells at her to go faster due to the chaotic battle around them. Teri trashes BM's bedroom, Rose gets Marni free, and Marni asks how to get out of there.
From Rose's reaction, I'm guessing Marni is some form of internal Energizer who can boost her physical abilities, cool. They make it to the escape pod, Rose wishes to get Teri with them but BM has her caught in his hand when they are sucked out of the ship, Marni pulling the lever to launch them to safety. I hope Rose gets to find out Teri is okay and not left wondering.
Felt like she had fallen a thousand feet and landed on her head, that sounds about right for what happened to Teri. On the roof of the GK Grocery Store in Nebraska, I'm with Teri, they were over LA last we knew, how did she end up all the way in Nebraska? In a lot of pain and now left wondering where Rose Blossom is. Heck of a cliffhanger.
Thank You for the story comments appreciated and help me know they are being read and liked. Note: My story comments can't nor are trying to replace reading the stories, simply my way of enjoying them and letting the authors know I enjoy them.
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- Dan Formerly Domoviye
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My responses in no particular order.
-The cuffs holding Miss Powerful were a devise. Basically an ultra strong magnet holding her to the chair.
- Yes I was watching a lot of Looney Toons when I wrote this. Needed to get the right amount of comedy and slapstick to the story and I decided to go to the best.
- Let's just say Burgermeister had a very active 1990's. We'll learn a bit of what he did in the future.
-Rose is a gadgeteer, and her powers are similar but not nearly as strong as Loopholes. Even when she had her full power she wasn't at that level.
- He experimented a lot to perfect his Transmographier and brainwashing devise. The Goblins were his male test subjects, the elves his female ones.
-The stalls would be for centaurs, not unicorns. He's confused, and severely F'd in the head, but even he realizes that turning people into animals is wrong.
- Getting Yeti's as officially in Whateley made me smile.
- With Marni, Teri is working almost on autopilot. Repeating things without really understanding them beyond the most basic level, even the drink was her remembering Rose giving her a drink of water as she woke up.
- And Marni calling for help didn't really snap Teri out of her unthinking panic, merely turned the panic attack into a psychotic rage. As soon as she told everyone to evacuate, sanity left the building.
Thanks again for the fun commentary. It and the other comments make the tears shed writing this worthwhile.
I think you'll enjoy Part 2, which should be coming in February.
And here's the picture for ASF2.
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Micro scenes and bad ideas are freely adoptable
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- Dan Formerly Domoviye
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'They'd find him a mutant without an annoying bit, and then he would add one more child to his safe and happy home.'
So he may have had a few problems with Bits in the past, or he might have realized the problem at the start and simply avoided it. I'll let the readers decide that for themselves.
As for finding out who his victims are... spoilers.
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Whether all of his victims were all Americans... Or at least able to speak English, depends on whether the brainwasher can implant a language...
Was Malady5 on Discord, but got hacked, so I gave up on it, so now I'm Dames4.
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- Dan Formerly Domoviye
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The story goes places I did not expect. The beach, the Himalayas, LA, the Sahara. The Looneyness was expected.
I'm not sure which origin is more disturbing, this or the original.
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- Dan Formerly Domoviye
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Just wait, you'll discover this is MUCH more disturbing than the original.
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Below is a stream of conscious commentary I type up as I read the story. There will be details from the story included in it. If you have not read the story yet and don't wish to have details of it spoiled, read no further.
A Strange Fairytale Part 2 comments
Yikes, either she has been out for days or that extreme sugar rush burned through a lot of calories she needs to replace fast. Ask for help and get screamed in terror at, Teri is in for a rough time.Gering, Nebraska
June 1st, 2007
Late Evening
Marcus, just because something is unusual looking doesn't mean you should scream. Poor Collin, Marcus thinks it is a bird and wasting his time searching for a bird.
3 rice cakes at her size, good, getting back those lost calories. Teri, you can be rational about this, but not everyone who sees a fairy is going to act rationally. Almost gets help, but Timothy's mother thinks Teri is a bug, good grief. Collin grabs her from behind and Teri flies for it, Collin is going to get banged up. Teri is now in the dark ceiling and crying, wish I could tell it is going to be alright.
Marcus hurrying towards the screaming, the mom from earlier says they have a big bug problem after spotting only Teri, and Collin on the floor in a daze, yikes. *facepalm* Collin describes what happened after he grabbed Teri and wants to do it again with a skateboard, starting to see why Marcus thinks he isn't that smart.
Marcus calls up the MCO and tries to tell them about the incident, describes Teri, and they think he is drunk, high, or making things up, oh boy.
So nice to hear this from an MCO agent. Great, now Marcus thinks he has to deal with Teri himself, he might treat her like vermin and try to kill her!“And why did he grab the mutant?” the person asked.
“Because it's a mutant and shouldn't be here.”
“Sir, do you realize that simply being a mutant is not illegal?”
Teri woken up by terrible hunger, Burgermeister gave the fairies too high of a metabolism. She ate the whole apple, even the core, now that is hungry.Midnight
Starting to get memories back of what she did and what happened, good. Darn, her memories don't give her any more information about where she is, where Rose Blossom is, ouch.“That's right, he kidnapped the girl, and me, and Rose Blossom. He... he must have messed with my mind.” Her eyes flared a brilliant purple. “That's why I can't remember my parents or where I live!” Her fingers dug into the metal.
“So I remembered what he did to us. And I said, I said...” She hit her head. Why couldn't she remember?
No, Teri, never think you should have stayed with Burgermeister. Not all people will treat you like a monster, or bug, there are good people in the world. And you are not a monster. All those thoughts of how Burgermeister could find Rose Blossom, the goblins, and elves, keep going ahead with his plans, I hope she is wrong about this. Though wanting to beat up Burgermeister again, now that is the Teri spirit.
Making herself a little house in the ceiling, nice. Food, entertainment to keep from getting bored, I wonder what else she will add later. A Barbie and Ken doll for mom and dad, got me tearing up how much Teri misses her family even if she doesn't fully remember them.
Mouser, yay! 9 hours sleep in 4 days, good grief, Bill better have a dire emergency. A job for her and she needs sleep, 5 hours sleep and she will be on the way, dang, she must be used to working on little sleep.Lincoln, Nebraska
June 2nd, 2007
Early Morning
Titanium bracelets on her wrists and ankles, do those contain the source of her powers or some other reason for wearing them? Able to shift to normal human appearance at will, handy. Raw steak, I guess when you are a catwoman eat as the cats do. Just what kind of coffee is she drinking!?! The only neighbour to give her a dirty look is allergic to cats, must be nice to be a non-mutant superhero. A motorcycle with a booster like that, was her old boyfriend a gadgeteer mayhaps or just a Gearhead?Early Afternoon
Restaurant with a bunch of anti-mutant bigots who want to call the MCO just because they think she is a mutant with GSD, ugh. Causing a disturbance only because the lot of you are scared bigots.Late Afternoon
She's friends with the head of the local MCO office, nice. Meal on the house after that is all sorted out, by how Mouser first reacted I'm guessing this is a regular occurrence for her.“Hello Mouser, are you having any problems?” Larry Meyer, the head of the Lincoln, Nebraska MCO asked.
A man named Jim Larson is the one who asked for help. Betty Larson, the mother, is very polite, good hostess to her guest. Ouch, their son Richard started getting powers a month ago, and two weeks ago started to change. BIT or GSD making him look more and more like a humanoid frog, Richard is going to have it rough.Early Evening
Go Betty's sister in Canada, but Richard has no MID and they don't trust the MCO. Canadian superheroes to meet them at the border, smart idea getting that arranged. The MCO guys in Lincoln are good, so not just their leader, we need more like them in the MCO. A very good reason for leaving at 10 am, avoid the troublemakers more easily. And the plan is sound, as a superhero and bodyguard, it is her job to draw the attention of any potential threats to her and away from her clients.
20 cameras around the store to catch Teri, Marcus, treating Teri like a pest to be removed dehumanizes her and sickens me.Gering, Nebraska
Late Evening
Aww, Teri has to wait for Marcus to leave and be a good girl by not tossing him out. If he pulls anything that gets her hurt I say the gloves should come off, Home Alone antics time then. Teri's clothes are in that bad of shape, what can she use to make a new outfit that is in a supermarket? Bamboo sheets, huh, good choice for fabric at that size. Her memories, it is of her grandmother teaching her how to sew, isn't it?
Nice dress with the materials and tools she had available. A drawing of Rose Blossom on the wall and talking to it, Teri needs people to connect to again.
Just how big are these beans she is talking about?I'd try to make a bean bag chair, but the beans are almost as big as me!”
Remove the cameras before anyone could find them, Marcus, you are treading dangerous territory here. And he thinks Tink is up to no good, now that is paranoid.Gering, Nebraska
June 3rd, 2007
Early Morning
[qutoe]Western Nebraska
Mid-Morning[/quote] Paulette Bunyan and Grinder, are great names for the Canadian heroes. That radio is tricked out, voice command to connect to her is a much-needed feature in emergencies.
That is the kind of outfit I would want to wear riding a motorcycle. Following the speed limit, avoiding attention, I'm guessing this isn't Mouser's first escort protection job.Now that she was on the clock Mouser wasn't wearing her usual comfortable clothes, but well padded and armoured motorcycle pants and jacket.
Bathroom break in the village of La Grange. Bwahaha, Mouser just loves flaunting her body and making males uncomfortable, poor casher is befuddled. When she distracts someone from her clients, she really distracts someone from her clients.Near La Grange, Wyoming
Afternoon
Wyoming Highway Patrol Trooper and he is a bigot, great. Asking where she is heading, demanding she answer the question, this is an abuse of power I can't stand. Demands to see her MID, something only required if you are traveling by plane or accused of a crime, more abuse of power, ugh. At least he let her leave without more trouble, I hate power-tripping aholes like him.
Neal, the creep Trooper, thinks she is a mutant and calls up the MCO to make trouble for her. I hope this comes back to bite him in the ass.
MCO Director Susan Brown, why do I have a bad feeling about her? MCO from 4 states send after her, I really don't like her.MCO Office, Cheyenne, Wyoming
Late Afternoon
Oh no, I think she will see you fired for this before this is all over.The agent nodded, but paused for a moment. “Director, couldn't this be the real Mouser, from Nebraska?”
“That's unlikely,” she said. “This is clearly a mutant with fake ID. And if by some misfortune it is the real Mouser, I'm sure we can work things out.”
Wait, don't tell me. She knows this is the real Mouser and is trying to get her killed? If that is the case I hope Director Susan Brown ends up in jail.If they played it right, they might be able to get rid of a blight on the MCO ledger.
Mouser, never feel optimistic because of early good luck on a trip like this. You will jinx it!Hardin, Montana
Evening
Oh, oh god, no. Teri dreams she came home, remembering things clearly, of her time with her family. But all the pictures are burnt and impossible to make out, a photo album filled with ashes. Electricity, just like Burgermeister's transformation chamber. And her mother called her those things. The worst sort of nightmare, and Teri is crying in her sleep. It hurts to watch her go through this.Gering, Nebraska
Near Midnight
Having to rush things to get to their goal and Richard's legs are really sore, with MCO creeps on the lookout for them this couldn't happen at a worse possible time.Hardin, Montana
June 4th, 2007
Morning
A stop to get water for Richard, Jim gets through quickly and is about to leave, but Mouser is held up by MCO agents, just great. Waste her time with MID and ID check, but let her go, and now they know the MCO might give them trouble so can plan for it.Billings, Montana
Morning
The MCO agents planted a devise on her radio, that is illegal! It was all a set-up so they could have a force waiting for her at the actual location she is heading to, I want to deck these creeps.
A row of cars to block them, the MCO sicken me with these tactics. Questioning drivers, sometimes pulling everyone out of the vehicle to search it, they don't have the authority to do this!Route 89, Outside Great Falls, Montana
Early Afternoon
Just want to ask her some questions, after several of your agents charge up energy weapons and have them aimed at her, sure. Agent McCormick, one of the creeps who gave Absinthe trouble, this is very bad. Oh crap, this is another set-up, so few agents per vehicle, this isn't the real ambush. Just something set up to get Mouser's guard down, and McCormick didn't call anyone I bet, they don't care if she is the real Mouser.
Mouser feeling sick to her stomach, McCormick crap on her returned MID was deliberate and made her sick! A frame-up, trying to make it look like Mouser attack her, MCO plant no doubt. The Larsons signaled to head on without her, this is the worst possible scenario.Great Falls, Montana
MCO heading towards the bathroom, Mouser hides in the false ceiling and avoids a flashbang as it goes off. Darn, they are smart enough to check the ceiling. Guarding her bike, idiots are making this obvious it is a set-up. Nice smoke-screen set-up in her coat and pants. Bounding over sixty miles per hour, dang. 2 MCO power armors, no civilians in the area, attempted murder, I hope everyone involved goes down for this.
Using the smokescreen on the power armor blinds them, nice. One power armor disabled, the MCO picked the wrong person to fight. Even straining she lifted an MCO power armor, just how strong is Mouser!?! 2nd power armor disabled, she is a skilled fighter. She can call her motorcycle to her and it comes, cool! Onto the motorcycle and out of there, just hope the MCO can't catch up and doesn't have any more ambushes planned.
Mouser in her human form shows up and Nancy, the receptionist, tries to tell her Mrs. Williams is very busy right now. Until Mouser tells who she is, what the local MCO just tried to do, shifts into her catwoman form, and reveals she suspects her MID is coated with a contact poison. I know that scumbag pulled something!Great Falls, DPA Office
Afternoon
Oh no, another dream that is going to turn into a nightmare for Teri. Ack! It starts out like a nightmare, Teri is in school and the biology teacher is giving a lesson. A new type of bug...*goes to dry-heave before reading any more* Too dark, too dark! God, I thought Teri was going to vomit when she woke up from that.Gering, Nebraska
June 5th, 2007
Early Afternoon
A drawing of a beach, and Teri is talking to the Rose Blossom drawing as if she is real, this is bad, I hate seeing her nightmares and slow mental breakdown. Please let help be coming soon.Nighttime
Six members of the local H1!, Marcus, you have crossed a line. He is only worried they will damage his store, not what will happen to Teri, sickening. And Marcus knows some of Teri's habits, uh oh. Treat it like a deer hunt, rifles, scum need a lesson.Gering, Nebraska
June 7th, 2007
Late evening
Teri has been watching them, is in a bad mood, and wishes to vent, I could almost pity them, almost. Teri is now stalking the men through the store, eep. Memory flash of I'm going to guess her grandfather taking her fishing, only to have it interrupted by the butt of a gun hitting her, darn it!
The older man was going to shoot her, Teri lifts him by his leg and drops him on his face, ouch! Calling her a freak and monster, ugh. Talk of hurting a fairy and Teri is ticked, she didn't mean to hurt Joe, but the others better run now.
Brandon hears a scream just as Paul comes tumbling head over feet into the main aisle, his rifle wrecked. More noises and Bob comes running out with a broken arm and his gun missing. Brandon does the smart thing, gets off with a warning to leave and never return. Teri can be terrifying when is angry. And breaks down crying after they leave, darn it, she is a cinnamon roll who doesn't like hurting others.
Teri huddled in the greenhouse trying not to think about what she had done. Talking and not liking it in the store, Teri wonders where Rose Blossom is, if she is safe, what the goblins and elves are doing. Thinking she has to be a hero to be loved. *tries to hold back tears*Near Midnight
Teri's mood shifts can be scary to watch sometimes. All these plans, all these hopes, and dreams, I hope they aren't all for naught. Thinking about who Rose Blossom was before, all the things we will probably never get answers to. *crying at all Teri's hopes for her and Rose Blossom, and the fear they will never find their families again* Talking to a rose and happy when she believes it said yes to coming with her, please let a good person find her soon.
MCO office, Lincoln, Nebraska
June 8th, 2007
Mid-Afternoon
I hope the attempted murder charges stick. Larry Meyer is one of the good ones that the MCO needs more of.“So I've read the police report and your statement. Head office is fighting the attempted murder charges of course, but between you and me, it looks like the Great Falls office is going to need to replace almost every single agent. Can't say I'm sad about that, they were always hard to work with.”
The bigots don't like her and tried to kill her given a chance, typical MCO mindset. Oh good, The Larsons reached their destination safely. Mouser! Inviting her over to dinner with him and his girlfriend or wife and Mouser just has to say something like that. She is incorrigible.
Mouser out for a run in nature, talk of moving to Atlanta and getting Speed Machine as a partner, thinking big. And a call from Marcus whose first question is if Mouser is a mutant, she is a power stone user. Run-around from everyone on whose job it was to deal with Teri, Marcus is losing his sanity, what he has of it at least.Wilderness Park Trails, Lincoln, Nebraska
June 11th, 2007
Mid-Afternoon
Description of Teri gets Mouser interested, wants the video, details on what Teri has done, etc. And she calls the Lincoln MCO to ask about a mutant that looks like a fairy, wonder what they have on file.
Teri is something Mouser has never seen before, I doubt there is another like Teri in the world.Mousers Home, Lincoln, Nebraska
Evening
Let me guess, the latter ones are in Australia. Guessing at what the fairy actually is, oh boy, you are complicating things without needing to, Mouser.There were some fairy-like mutants, but they were nowhere near Nebraska, and they were either near human size or shifted between a fairy shape and a baseline human.
Mouser going to try and talk to Teri to get her to leave peacefully, what a novel idea, if only more people used it.Gering, Nebraska
June 13th, 2007
Late Evening
Aww, Teri realizes Mouser is a superhero but doesn't trust her because she works for Marcus. Mouser is one of the most reasonable superheroes I've ever seen. Oh boy, thinking she has to catch Burgermeister to prove she is a hero, thinking Mouser is just lying to her, Teri, not everyone is out to get you.
Darn, even the offer of cookies fails, Teri is being stubborn. Ouch, breaking through the ceiling tile close to Teri's house only to get punched in the nose hard.
Dive bombing Mouser with a bag of catnip, that is playing dirty, Teri. Then chili powder, chemical warfare! But Mouser grabs her, I hope she doesn't wreck the store getting dragged around.
This is why you don't grab Teri. Glad she was able to let go and avoid wrecking any of the shelves or harming herself before gaining control again.She felt a moment of joy as the fairy came to a stop, maybe this could end here and now. “I've got you. Now- Oh shiiiiiii-!”
Teri is in for a fight, she spots Mouser washing off the catnip and chili powder and goes on the attack. Ouch, Teri flew right out Mouser only to get slapped down hard and kicked as well.
Trust me, Teri is tougher than she looks. Hearing to locate Teri, bottles were thrown and olive oil on Mouser's pants now, she leaps to get Teri only to be grabbed and slammed into the ground, this isn't Mouser's day. Grabs Teri by the wings and hits her to the floor, asking if she is ready to talk now only for Teri to fly, darn it, Teri.She hadn't meant to hit the fairy so hard or to kick her, but it had been about to take her head off and instinct had taken over in the critical few seconds.
Teri in pain and crying, still thinks that Burgermeister will come for her and she can leave this place, if only she realized Burgermeister has no idea where she is. She grabs Mouser's tail only to get caught between Mouser's hands, the store can't take much more of this.
Mouser directed them and they missed the shelves, Teri hurting again, and once more an offer to end this peacefully from Mouser. Finally, Teri reveals to Mouser she can't leave, telling about the Burgermeister, why she needs him to find Rose Blossom. This whole thing is a mess because of one man's broken mind and not seeking help when was still enough of sound mind to.
Mouser gets ahold of the rose bush, Teri is upset, but finally forced to talk to Mouser. Questions and answers, and Mouser finds out more about Teri. Seeing Teri tell what has happened since she got to this store, breaking down and crying, Marcus has much to answer for.
*tears welling up* Finally, Teri is starting to get the help she needs, to have someone she can trust to talk to and help to find out where Rose Blossom is. On the inside of the box, it is obvious Teri is just a child in need of help to those who would listen.
Thank you, Mouser. Marcus got off light imo, especially after the H1! stunt.“Hey Marcus. Next time instead of screaming at someone, ask if they need help. After I finally managed to calm the child down, I got her to leave. Make sure to send me my check next week,” Mouser said, her tail flicking in anger as she headed for her truck and the young girl who needed her help.
Thank You for the story comments appreciated and help me know they are being read and liked. Note: My story comments can't nor are trying to replace reading the stories, simply my way of enjoying them and letting the authors know I enjoy them.
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