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A Strange Fairytale

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15 Mar 2022 06:33 #1461 by Dan Formerly Domoviye
Thanks as always for the long review Dreamer.
My reply to some of your comments are below.

Warning: Spoiler!
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15 Mar 2022 12:08 #1462 by Darkmuse
Replied by Darkmuse on topic A Strange Fairytale
This is getting better and better.
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15 Mar 2022 15:57 #1463 by mhalpern
Replied by mhalpern on topic A Strange Fairytale
grocery store seemed a bit less Tom and Jerry than what I remember from the original, and more pragmatic. She's not having fun defending herself.

Micro scenes and bad ideas are freely adoptable
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15 Mar 2022 16:10 #1464 by Dan Formerly Domoviye

grocery store seemed a bit less Tom and Jerry than what I remember from the original, and more pragmatic. She's not having fun defending herself.

True.
I did try at first to keep it a bit funny, but it utterly failed. So Mouser got a leading role to avoid aving a totally dark story, and I cut a lot of stuff I had planned for Teri.
The next story will have more funny and sweet parts.
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16 Mar 2022 14:09 #1486 by mhalpern
Replied by mhalpern on topic A Strange Fairytale

grocery store seemed a bit less Tom and Jerry than what I remember from the original, and more pragmatic. She's not having fun defending herself.

True.
I did try at first to keep it a bit funny, but it utterly failed. So Mouser got a leading role to avoid aving a totally dark story, and I cut a lot of stuff I had planned for Teri.
The next story will have more funny and sweet parts.

I think its better this way, makes some of her antics a bit more of a coping mechanism, and makes her more than just a bundle of chaos

Micro scenes and bad ideas are freely adoptable
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16 Mar 2022 15:07 - 16 Mar 2022 17:11 #1487 by Dan Formerly Domoviye

grocery store seemed a bit less Tom and Jerry than what I remember from the original, and more pragmatic. She's not having fun defending herself.

True.
I did try at first to keep it a bit funny, but it utterly failed. So Mouser got a leading role to avoid aving a totally dark story, and I cut a lot of stuff I had planned for Teri.
The next story will have more funny and sweet parts.

I think its better this way, makes some of her antics a bit more of a coping mechanism, and makes her more than just a bundle of chaos

Thanks. That's what I was aiming for.
Having a chaotic, funny character who is like that just because, can work for short stories or as a side character, but I personally couldn't pull it off for a long term story.
Now that the initial gut punch is over, she'll start being more funny, as part of her personality and as a coping mechanism.
Last edit: 16 Mar 2022 17:11 by Dan Formerly Domoviye.
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22 Mar 2022 10:00 #1506 by Valentine
Replied by Valentine on topic A Strange Fairytale
A bit disturbing, but not claw your way out of the chest of your old body disturbing. A not completely insane Mouser is different also.

It is a real tearjerker.

I just realized that Whateley is going to have, the Grove Faeries, Koenes and Leanne, Kayda's hobgoblins, and the J-Team Pixies all running and flying around campus at the same time. That's a bit scary. Sizemax too. It's OK though, they'll just put Imp in charge of them.

Yeah, a story about Teri living in ceiling would been really depressing. Following Mouser being a competent and compassionate hero was a good balance.

Keep up the good writing.

I do now wonder just where the Burgermeister's flying base crashed that Mouser hadn't heard about it.
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22 Mar 2022 11:01 #1508 by Dan Formerly Domoviye
Thanks.

Mouser has a few personality quirks that we'll see in Part 3. Here we saw her almost entirely on the job, where she keeps herself in check.

And yeah, Tinks scenes were depressing. So I went from having Mouser be an important side character, with a quick little adventure before getting Tink, to being the main POV character.

All things will be answered in time. Some quicker than others.
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22 Mar 2022 14:13 - 22 Mar 2022 14:14 #1510 by Court
Replied by Court on topic A Strange Fairytale

I just realized that Whateley is going to have, the Grove Faeries, Koenes and Leanne, Kayda's hobgoblins, and the J-Team Pixies all running and flying around campus at the same time. That's a bit scary. Sizemax too. It's OK though, they'll just put Imp in charge of them.

Plus Absinthe's fairies.
Last edit: 22 Mar 2022 14:14 by Court.
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22 Mar 2022 14:18 #1511 by Dan Formerly Domoviye
You're right. The Absinthe fairies are very important.

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22 Mar 2022 14:49 #1512 by Astrodragon
Replied by Astrodragon on topic A Strange Fairytale

You're right. The Absinthe fairies are very important.

Especially at parties

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02 Aug 2022 00:00 #2093 by DanZilla
Replied by DanZilla on topic A Strange Fairytale
A Strange Fairytale (Part 3) can be found in the Gen 1 section or by using the link below... and please remember our authors are doing this for the response they get... please leave comments where you can for appreciated stories or if you have anything to bring to the conversation of written word and readers.

whateley.academy/index.php/read/story/a-...nge-fairytale-part-3

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02 Aug 2022 02:27 #2095 by mhalpern
Replied by mhalpern on topic A Strange Fairytale
that ending though...

Micro scenes and bad ideas are freely adoptable
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02 Aug 2022 03:10 #2096 by Dreamer
Replied by Dreamer on topic A Strange Fairytale
SPOILER ALERT
Below is a stream of conscious commentary I type up as I read the story. There will be details from the story included in it. If you have not read the story yet and don't wish to have details of it spoiled, read no further.

A Strange Fairytale Part 3 comments
Warning: Spoiler!

Thank You for the story comments appreciated and help me know they are being read and liked. :-) Note: My story comments can't nor are trying to replace reading the stories, simply my way of enjoying them and letting the authors know I enjoy them.
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02 Aug 2022 05:09 - 02 Aug 2022 05:24 #2097 by Dan Formerly Domoviye
This was great to read. Thanks as always Dreamer for the fantastic commentary.
Warning: Spoiler!
Last edit: 02 Aug 2022 05:24 by Dan Formerly Domoviye.
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