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Last Orders (Part 1) by Astrodragon
07 Jan 2025 18:19 #3985
by mhalpern
Also we know they end up in critical condition, and in Doyle.
Even if either of them die, i wouldn't count on them staying dead, Besides there's so much more you can put them through by keeping them alive
Micro scenes and bad ideas are freely adoptable
Replied by mhalpern on topic Last Orders (Part 1) by Astrodragon
[]
Aww, you think I wont kill a protagonist due to plot armour?
you guys are so cute and adorable..
Also we know they end up in critical condition, and in Doyle.
Even if either of them die, i wouldn't count on them staying dead, Besides there's so much more you can put them through by keeping them alive
Micro scenes and bad ideas are freely adoptable
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07 Jan 2025 18:27 #3986
by null0trooper
It's much the same difference as between sheepskin and wool.
"No Heroes" Part 6: Something to chew on link .
Story Discussion
Replied by null0trooper on topic Last Orders (Part 1) by Astrodragon
Even if either of them die, i wouldn't count on them staying dead, Besides there's so much more you can put them through by keeping them alive
It's much the same difference as between sheepskin and wool.
"No Heroes" Part 6: Something to chew on link .
Story Discussion
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07 Jan 2025 20:51 #3988
by mhalpern
Micro scenes and bad ideas are freely adoptable
Replied by mhalpern on topic Last Orders (Part 1) by Astrodragon
Well it they end up all dead, the only thing you can do is go through their pockets and look for loose change, so they'll be mostly dead at worst.
Even if either of them die, i wouldn't count on them staying dead, Besides there's so much more you can put them through by keeping them alive
It's much the same difference as between sheepskin and wool.
Micro scenes and bad ideas are freely adoptable
The following user(s) said Thank You: Dan Formerly Domoviye
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07 Jan 2025 22:13 #3989
by Astrodragon
Replied by Astrodragon on topic Last Orders (Part 1) by Astrodragon
Dreamer, as always thanks for the wonderful commentary.
The original idea for the portals course was by CPrime;
I loved it so expanded it into a full scene.
Yes, there will be issues with the course, and yes, some
teenage boys will be thinking of a succubus
The spell bracelet shows how a magic item can be built.
You need to modify (if necessary) the spell, design it,
get the materials to make it (luckily cheap for a simple,
limited one like this, and provide the essence to charge
it up. Which is why Mages aren't usually short for cash.
Olrun has clawed his way to the top levels in the cult,
of course he's arrogant.
Vics story is Mal's, this just shows why Vic cant do the
obvious thing and ask one of M3 to cure him. It was a
question he would have asked.
The dance scene is just setting a start point for the group.
No doubt other candidates turned up a bit later.
The swimming was to show how hard it is to convince a fire
dragon into the pool. Thulia is pretty fearless when it comes
to doing things, I felt this was an amusing difference.
The SIM setup is basically a real railway accident, embellished
a bit for Whateley.
Tarot divinations don't usually do well at timestemping the
results. IF if hadn't been Dunwich, they might indeed have
consulted Pat first, but only a few miles from Whateley?
As to what the Cult does next, you'll have to read Part 2
The original idea for the portals course was by CPrime;
I loved it so expanded it into a full scene.
Yes, there will be issues with the course, and yes, some
teenage boys will be thinking of a succubus
The spell bracelet shows how a magic item can be built.
You need to modify (if necessary) the spell, design it,
get the materials to make it (luckily cheap for a simple,
limited one like this, and provide the essence to charge
it up. Which is why Mages aren't usually short for cash.
Olrun has clawed his way to the top levels in the cult,
of course he's arrogant.
Vics story is Mal's, this just shows why Vic cant do the
obvious thing and ask one of M3 to cure him. It was a
question he would have asked.
The dance scene is just setting a start point for the group.
No doubt other candidates turned up a bit later.
The swimming was to show how hard it is to convince a fire
dragon into the pool. Thulia is pretty fearless when it comes
to doing things, I felt this was an amusing difference.
The SIM setup is basically a real railway accident, embellished
a bit for Whateley.
Tarot divinations don't usually do well at timestemping the
results. IF if hadn't been Dunwich, they might indeed have
consulted Pat first, but only a few miles from Whateley?
As to what the Cult does next, you'll have to read Part 2
The following user(s) said Thank You: null0trooper, Dreamer
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08 Jan 2025 01:49 #3992
by Apple3141
Replied by Apple3141 on topic Last Orders (Part 1) by Astrodragon
Which Tarot decks traditionally have duplicates of the Minor Arcana? Two Knight of Swords cards in one layout?
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08 Jan 2025 04:32 #3993
by DanZilla
Traditionally decks don't have multiples... when they show up like this it is usually the deck being cheeky and/or mysteriously mystical. Mystically mysterious?
Replied by DanZilla on topic Last Orders (Part 1) by Astrodragon
Which Tarot decks traditionally have duplicates of the Minor Arcana? Two Knight of Swords cards in one layout?
Traditionally decks don't have multiples... when they show up like this it is usually the deck being cheeky and/or mysteriously mystical. Mystically mysterious?
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09 Jan 2025 00:57 #3994
by cprime
Replied by cprime on topic Last Orders (Part 1) by Astrodragon
I read through the story the night it was released, but I was too interested to do a live commentary. A few thoughts, by section
Gee - this scene seems familiar. It's interesting to see the changes that were made from my initial draft. When I wrote the microscene, I was mentally imagining that the scrying bowl that Thulia brought into the classroom was the earth-side half of the pair of linked bowls that she had made for Morgana during the fall semester. This isn't to say that the bowl in this version couldn't be that bowl, but it seems a bit less of a single purpose tool than that one was.
For this students thinking of trying to contact a succubi, I could see Morgana subtly guiding them in Tanu's general direction (with permission from her and Mrs. Grimes). Tanu would probably leave them intact (physically), but their egos would probably get shredded in the process.
Loaner essence crystals, Sensible. Hopefully the students using them won't get any ideas.
Master Olrun is set on recovery. His acolytes are certainly trying to give him good advice, he's just ignoring it. Anti-demon precautions. Might pose a bit of an annoyance to Thulia (she does have demon blood in her veins), but not going to be anywhere as effective as Olrun thinks they will be. And Morgana is almost certainly more capable than they think she is. Certainly not as trained as the order members, but hardly a naive dragon girl either.
Looks like M3 has settled into their new digs. I do wonder a little about what that rune-covered stone is, but I suppose we'll find out what that Chekov's gun (or macguffin) is in due course. A present for Pastel - She did help them out a fair amount in Phoenix. Morgana does have a bit of the gadgeter need to tinker with things, even if she won't admit it.
Always interesting to 'see' a mage at work doing enchantments. I think Morgana did have some tools for working with gold emulsions from making the mat for her scrying bowl, but they probably weren't as fine grained as she'd need for the gem enchantment.
More magic working. I agree with Thulia's amusement at Morgana concentrating. It makes sense that dragons would tend to chose things a bit more solid than glue, and Morgana's getting some good practice in for class.
Pastel may not be a dragon, but the way she looked at the bracelet was certainly draconic enough. I think Thula and Morgana are bad influences on her.
Thulia and Vic talking over his condition. Thulia certainly isn't lacking in curiosity, but she seems to have listened to the 'whys' about not altering BITs (and properly extrapolated how avatar traits have similar issues).
Ok - Bruce was right. Thulia needs Morgana as a moderating influence. Even if Morgana's devious streak is as wide as her hips. At least they are trying to think of what's in Vic's best interests.
Morgana checking Thulia's outfit for the audition - a necessary evil, even if both dragon girls like showing off to each other. The universality of phys-ed requirements...
Why do I have the mental image of Thulia's first routine being something akin to a Tai-chi routine? Leave it to Morgana to encourage borderline risqué behavior by offering to fab a replacement dance pole.
Thulia and swimming lessons is a good moment of comic relief. It's still a good skill to have (and likely mandatory for graduation if some of the Gen 1 rules still hold).
Nice to see Thulia (and Tanya) taking the sims seriously. As Morgana said when asked about her combat uniform, the sims (and combat finals) are a good way to iron out the bugs in a (mostly) low risk environment.
And into the sims goes M3. Seems like a fairly solid starting setup (particularly for a team that doesn't have Kimba levels of financing). I'm looking forward to seeing F&F in the sims, but that's probably a different storyline.
Fairly major train wreck. I think I recognize that incident, even if I wasn't in the area when it happened. Seems that the sim crew turned up the realism on the blood and gore. Given that M3 is on the S&R track, that's probably a good thing.
Erica worried about the paperwork if Thulia uses her usual levels of force. Not entirely unwarranted, even if the actually paperwork would probably be as simulated as everything else. Thulia fireballing a propane tanker. The sim crew was right to worry about Thula's excessive exuberance in dealing with problems. To be fair, she didn't have the background to know it was a bad idea, and the subsequent injuries hopefully drove home the need to learn what the local dangers are.
And there's the paperwork, this time for real. Admittedly, most sims would end with a similar assignment. And Thulia did seem to recognize that she handled things badly.
Thulia and her skin/scale-care products. At least she was (mostly) prepared for the worst of the winter weather on that front.
Morgana and her tarrot reading - yep, two tower cards means that deck's the real thing. I wonder how well it would get along with Pat's deck. And they certainly are painting an ugly picture. No surprise with the order being up to no good.
Seems that Master Olrun has a Captain Ahab complex. The fact that merc team echoed Nephandus's warnings about the school should have been a sign that he actually was correct. But Olrun is going to get his white whale, or die in the process. And this merc team missed the memo about just how dangerous Whatelely's security force actually is - or they were blinded by the money offered.
Attacking while Morgana and Thulia are going to get their suit fitting. Seems that the second opinion on the tarrot reading may come just a bit too late.
I think I'm seeing where the story title comes from. Interested parties (the order of fire and the Whately administration) aren't going to care that the order is disavowing all knowledge of the operation. The order of the Red Ba'al is going to be in for a world of hurt before the dust settles.
Warning: Spoiler!
Gee - this scene seems familiar. It's interesting to see the changes that were made from my initial draft. When I wrote the microscene, I was mentally imagining that the scrying bowl that Thulia brought into the classroom was the earth-side half of the pair of linked bowls that she had made for Morgana during the fall semester. This isn't to say that the bowl in this version couldn't be that bowl, but it seems a bit less of a single purpose tool than that one was.
For this students thinking of trying to contact a succubi, I could see Morgana subtly guiding them in Tanu's general direction (with permission from her and Mrs. Grimes). Tanu would probably leave them intact (physically), but their egos would probably get shredded in the process.
Loaner essence crystals, Sensible. Hopefully the students using them won't get any ideas.
Master Olrun is set on recovery. His acolytes are certainly trying to give him good advice, he's just ignoring it. Anti-demon precautions. Might pose a bit of an annoyance to Thulia (she does have demon blood in her veins), but not going to be anywhere as effective as Olrun thinks they will be. And Morgana is almost certainly more capable than they think she is. Certainly not as trained as the order members, but hardly a naive dragon girl either.
Looks like M3 has settled into their new digs. I do wonder a little about what that rune-covered stone is, but I suppose we'll find out what that Chekov's gun (or macguffin) is in due course. A present for Pastel - She did help them out a fair amount in Phoenix. Morgana does have a bit of the gadgeter need to tinker with things, even if she won't admit it.
Always interesting to 'see' a mage at work doing enchantments. I think Morgana did have some tools for working with gold emulsions from making the mat for her scrying bowl, but they probably weren't as fine grained as she'd need for the gem enchantment.
More magic working. I agree with Thulia's amusement at Morgana concentrating. It makes sense that dragons would tend to chose things a bit more solid than glue, and Morgana's getting some good practice in for class.
Pastel may not be a dragon, but the way she looked at the bracelet was certainly draconic enough. I think Thula and Morgana are bad influences on her.
Thulia and Vic talking over his condition. Thulia certainly isn't lacking in curiosity, but she seems to have listened to the 'whys' about not altering BITs (and properly extrapolated how avatar traits have similar issues).
Ok - Bruce was right. Thulia needs Morgana as a moderating influence. Even if Morgana's devious streak is as wide as her hips. At least they are trying to think of what's in Vic's best interests.
Morgana checking Thulia's outfit for the audition - a necessary evil, even if both dragon girls like showing off to each other. The universality of phys-ed requirements...
Why do I have the mental image of Thulia's first routine being something akin to a Tai-chi routine? Leave it to Morgana to encourage borderline risqué behavior by offering to fab a replacement dance pole.
Thulia and swimming lessons is a good moment of comic relief. It's still a good skill to have (and likely mandatory for graduation if some of the Gen 1 rules still hold).
Nice to see Thulia (and Tanya) taking the sims seriously. As Morgana said when asked about her combat uniform, the sims (and combat finals) are a good way to iron out the bugs in a (mostly) low risk environment.
And into the sims goes M3. Seems like a fairly solid starting setup (particularly for a team that doesn't have Kimba levels of financing). I'm looking forward to seeing F&F in the sims, but that's probably a different storyline.
Fairly major train wreck. I think I recognize that incident, even if I wasn't in the area when it happened. Seems that the sim crew turned up the realism on the blood and gore. Given that M3 is on the S&R track, that's probably a good thing.
Erica worried about the paperwork if Thulia uses her usual levels of force. Not entirely unwarranted, even if the actually paperwork would probably be as simulated as everything else. Thulia fireballing a propane tanker. The sim crew was right to worry about Thula's excessive exuberance in dealing with problems. To be fair, she didn't have the background to know it was a bad idea, and the subsequent injuries hopefully drove home the need to learn what the local dangers are.
And there's the paperwork, this time for real. Admittedly, most sims would end with a similar assignment. And Thulia did seem to recognize that she handled things badly.
Thulia and her skin/scale-care products. At least she was (mostly) prepared for the worst of the winter weather on that front.
Morgana and her tarrot reading - yep, two tower cards means that deck's the real thing. I wonder how well it would get along with Pat's deck. And they certainly are painting an ugly picture. No surprise with the order being up to no good.
Seems that Master Olrun has a Captain Ahab complex. The fact that merc team echoed Nephandus's warnings about the school should have been a sign that he actually was correct. But Olrun is going to get his white whale, or die in the process. And this merc team missed the memo about just how dangerous Whatelely's security force actually is - or they were blinded by the money offered.
Attacking while Morgana and Thulia are going to get their suit fitting. Seems that the second opinion on the tarrot reading may come just a bit too late.
I think I'm seeing where the story title comes from. Interested parties (the order of fire and the Whately administration) aren't going to care that the order is disavowing all knowledge of the operation. The order of the Red Ba'al is going to be in for a world of hurt before the dust settles.
The following user(s) said Thank You: null0trooper, Dreamer
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