- Forum
- The Classrooms - Story Feedback
- Kirby Hall - The Second Generation
- Lady of the Ring by MaLAguA
New? Arriving? (09 Aug 2021)
Required Reading:
If it is stickied, it is stickied for a reason. Please read it.
Lady of the Ring by MaLAguA
whateley.academy/index.php/component/k2/...y-of-the-ring-part-7
Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.
Micro scenes and bad ideas are freely adoptable
Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.
Below is a stream of conscious commentary I type up as I read the story. There will be details from the story included in it. If you have not read the story yet and don't wish to have details of it spoiled, read no further.
Lady of the Ring Part 7 comments
All that way down to the fourth basement and the ring is moving again, arrgggh! Ouch, Caro doesn't have a more offensive spell ready, and the fight with Lillian is going to be rough. A spell thought up on the spot, uh oh. Oof, that is some limitation on her reusing spells.Saturday, November 5, 2016 - 7:30 pm
The tunnels, (B4)
Yes, the tunnels have a twisted sense of humor with how they rearrange themselves. Caro now worried that there are a lot more people down here and affected by the ring, wonders if she will be relieved when she sees Lillian's summons. It is just Gwen and Vic for now, but they shouldn't linger there for too long with what is right behind them. Thank you, Gwen, for stopping Caro's direction of inquiry about Vic.
Catch up on the mess Gwen and Vic were in along with Lillian being affected by something, but those two don't know what. The fire zombies slowed down thanks to the narrow tunnel, but for how long? Appropriate reactions to those things, Caro and Shisa. Dang, even with being low on energy one of Gwen's blasts took out 5 of the fire zombies. Lillian leading her summons and time to retreat for our heroes.
And the door leading to the stairs up is gone, darn you, tunnels! Caro, trying to send the others away while you deal with Lillian is ignoring these are your friends and fellow classmates, you need to trust them to help you. I know she is worried about Gwen and Vic falling under the influence of the ring, but she is going to have to take a risk to finally get it back so it can be destroyed.
Shisa once again shows why you don't want to make her mad, her TK slashes are brutal. Oh boy, Lillian trying to convince Gwen and Vic to join her against the Amazons. Lillian hid the ring from view, she must not want anyone else coming after it. Ugh, the reaction to what Caro says from Lillian, I hate what the ring twists even good people into. You are lucky Shisa realizes you are under a dangerous influence and only got flipped off, Lillian.
D'oh, now Lillian aka the ring speaking through her wants Caro to make more of it, this has to end. What is Lillian doing with that summon of hers? Trying to capture Shisa is a bad idea, you might make her panic and lash out with her power. What the! Lillian made these two a lot tougher for Shisa's PK to do nothing to them. Gwen to the rescue!
Lillian made the fire zombies heat up like that, she could kill them! Good, Gwen escapes to an open tunnel with Shisa in her arms, too close. Coming after Caro now and it is Vic's turn to save the day by pushing the zombies back. They have to escape Lillian, she is out of her mind thanks to the ring's influence.
Caro has Vic up to speed on the ring and the dangers of seeing it, let's hope it is as easy to avoid seeing. Darn, no telepathic link to Gwen to warn her about the ring. Not a room with a hole in the floor, darn it, tunnels, stop playing dirty. I'm with Vic, I would avoid going to level 5 at all costs.Saturday, November 5, 2016 - 7:46 pm
The tunnels, (B5)
An obvious magical trap, but what kind of trap, Caro? Ooo, I kind of feel scared for the Tangle right now if it keeps screwing with Caro. Hhm, what kind of spell does Caro have in mind that would work with deep enough water? The zombies falling through the hole and right into the canel, typical zombie behavior. Caro with Vic's question finally realizes she has to get to the forge to destroy the ring, and no, it is never easy when dealing with artifact-level magic with a mind of its own.
Saved by Vic from a zombie and Lillian is closing in, what happened to Gwen? Vic fighting off the zombies, but it is a battle of attrition and Lillian can just make more zombies. Way to come in for the rescue, Morgana. Though nearly naked again, she needs to get sturdier clothing to stand up to this kind of wear and tear. And Chris, even with a blindfold on is a badass fighter.
At least all of them, minus Gwen right now, are together. Better odds of getting the ring off Lillian and ending this madness. *facepalms* Lillian was an easy mark for the ring. Nice use of the slow sphere, Chris. The tuning fork is okay, but why does Caro's plan require water? Small ostriches made of fire and stone, what next, mini tigers?
Caro's trap was to mess with the concrete around the hole so everyone fell down to the 5th floor, eep. Chris does the equivalent of the Slow Fall spell with her power, cool. Ouch, good idea, Chris, but heat plus water equals steam. Lillian's mass-produced summons are impossible to summon or severely weakened by the water, yay!
What does that bell do this time and why get out of the water? Frozen water yet not as ice, now that is storybook magic. Everyone is pinned except Chris who starts ripping through the constructs. Oh no, what does Lillian see in the walls and above that gives her a chance? She's forming them from the walls, darn it, so close.
So many constructs from those walls moving to close in on Caro, but Vic has a transparent weapon and there is a hole where he was once stuck. Liquid blade that he can replenish from the water, awesome. A large hammer and working on getting Chris one as well, This is a nice temp upgrade for Vic, though I wonder if he can figure out how to make water that solid on his own.
Vic with the spell of Caro's is a powerhouse right now. Morgana is free and finally, Caro can use the tuning fork's magic to start the ring growing bigger to get it away from Lillian. Darn, she still has full control over her summons and there goes Chris' water staff. Ooo, a new weapon for Chris, Vic is getting to show off in this fight. A large cudgel, one solid blow to that big gorilla construct, and down it goes.
Crap! Chris almost has the ring, but Lillian created another large summon out of Chris's 'mind's eye' focus, a cheap shot! Horray! Shisa and Gwen to the rescue, and Lillian uses the distraction to attack Chris with a crude knife made with her powers, I guess the ring is done with her. Well, it is off Lillian, but it landed right in front of Gwen, and the way she is talking sounds like she is already under the ring's influence.
Let her wear it, promise to not let it influence her, Gwen, You are already being influenced by it! They try to talk her down and it backfires, already possessive of the ring, d'oh. Morgana tries to stop her, Shisa pleads with her, and it takes Vic using a water tentacle to hold her arm to stop Gwen from putting on the ring. Saying that to Vic, ouch, the ring twists someone fast. Solidified water back to normal water, Gwen drops the ring, a scramble to get the ring, but another ring of the bell, and the water is solid again.
Morgana will want a nice, hot bath after is all over. Huh, the ring didn't seem to try and tempt Vic, clash of water powers and fire nature ring perhaps. Vic almost has the ring back to Caro, but Gwen pulls an unexpected tactic that makes Caro drop the bell and end the spell on the water. Darn it! Gwen has the ring again and Vic is fighting to keep her from putting it on with all he's got.
Vic gets the ring back, and Gwen tries to use guilt about the past against him, twisting and saying she tried to help him when she tried to kidnap him. But it is enough of a distraction to weaken Vic's hold on his water tentacles and Gwen breaks free once more.
That sounds like something someone in an abusive relationship says to gaslight someone, imo.“Back then, I did it because you were in the process of screwing up,”
Crap, Vic trying to plead with Gwen, saying she isn't herself and she doesn't realize what the ring is making her do. She is deliberately breaking things in Vic as revenge under the ring's influence, someone please stop this already! Risky move by Vic, but it works to free him from Gwen's grasp, and the ring is on its way to Caro, I hope someone besides Gwen gets it.
Ooo, Shisa is a good swimmer to pull that off. Chris's slow field on Gwen, get this thing over with already. The ring is finally in Caro's hands and they have to run to get ahead of Gwen so they can at last destroy the ring. They are going to have to fight, and Caro has the bad idea of wearing the ring, don't do it!
Oh, that is why Caro kept saying she was sorry, she tricked the ring and then tossed it into Morgana's mouth.
Okay, that does make sense. Dang, the ring is being taken apart and the power is sent back to the Plane of Fire. Morgana is going to need time to recover after this one.“Your fire and blood helped create it… the blood it holds is your own. It felt like the more expedient way of getting this whole matter settled without access to the forge”
Vic's eyes glowing and changing color even for a moment, could this be a sign his power has somehow grown stronger? Without Vic there they all could have died just then. And yikes, not even the specialty-made underwear survived, that has to be the hottest she has ever gotten.
Oh, good, Gwen is out from under the spell of the ring and doesn't seem to remember anything that happened since falling under it. Morgana is okay and the ring is gone, hooray. A blacksmith's apron is better than nothing. And definite confirmation from Gwen's own thoughts that she doesn't remember anything she did while under the ring's influence. Vic has a visit with Doyle coming, after this whole mess he is lucky to get out with just some broken bones.
Oof, so Gwen does remember some of it though not clearly. That means the others who were affected won't know as much as previously feared, thank goodness. Now to get out of the tunnels, I hope it doesn't take too long.“It felt like a dream… Like I was just going through with the motions, but it was still me. I didn’t know why, or rather, I think I knew, but I thought I wasn’t getting affected. Even though words made sense, I just wanted the ring… I tried to be civil and ask, thinking I wouldn’t hurt my friends to get it, no matter how much I wanted it… But Vic…”
Thank You for the story comments appreciated and help me know they are being read and liked. Note: My story comments can't nor are trying to replace reading the stories, simply my way of enjoying them and letting the authors know I enjoy them.
Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.
Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.
Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.
- Dan Formerly Domoviye
- Offline
- Author
- Posts: 288
- Thank you received: 253
Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.
whateley.academy/index.php/component/k2/...y-of-the-ring-part-8
Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.
Below is a stream of conscious commentary I type up as I read the story. There will be details from the story included in it. If you have not read the story yet and don't wish to have details of it spoiled, read no further.
Lady of the Ring Part 8 comments
Ouch, out from under the ring's influence, but like a volleyball to the face, I've had that happen, that hurts. Oh boy, the memory gaps are going to wreak havoc now, Stark not knowing why he is tied up being the least of it. At least he remembers all that, hopefully, he will end his feud with Firestep already. It is a good thing Stark can't remember, he would try to duplicate the power with a devise eventually if he did.Saturday, November 5, 2016 - 8:23 pm
The tunnels, (B1)
Stark, you will drive yourself crazy trying to make sense of the fight aftermath with no memories of it. Thinks it best to just forget revenge, only to roll over and see Firestep, d'oh. 'Johnny' there and Stark was the last of them to wake up. Great, he said/she said about who is to blame for their feud.
Thank you, Johnny, for getting those two to stop kicking each other. Trying to reason with these two is futile, Johnny.
Corrine, you need to drop that attitude about ladies. Her attitude, why does she act this way? Johnny knows things from experience, good to see him in a better light and give useful advice to students.“Why should I act like a lady? Ladies are servants.”
Ouch, just how bad is Stark's home situation where he has to apologize so much including before he manifested? And Corrine, just because something like that happened to a girl at your old school doesn't mean you retaliate for something that was an accident here at Whateley.
Nice work getting them to see reason, Johnny. Reset sometime soon, I hope that means in 30 minutes or less, they have been stuck in the tunnels for long enough as it is. Respect for each other as fighters, it is a start. Interesting chemical reaction with the denim in Corrine's pants, it could be used to make more durable and fire-resistant denim.“If you can’t admit your reason with pride… very likely it wasn’t a very good reason at all.”
Oof, that poor guard lost for a half hour down there. Expecting the worst and not knowing it is due to a fight between students and a devise that triggered a lockdown. Horray, out from lockdown just in time. Found Stark, Corrine, and Johnny on the first level, good. Figured out that room's fight pretty fast, at least the basics. I pity the janitors on the next shift right now.Aftermath
Oh, good, the main group has made their way up the floors. Oof, a fireproof apron is all that stands between Morgana and indecency, she needs to talk to Eldritch about making her some true fireproof clothes. Yikes, Vic's injuries are bad but at least the elbow isn't as bad as I thought, hairline fracture instead of a full break.
Oh, good, they found Corrine's friends and they are safe. Heh, without knowing about the ring who would believe Stark could overpower those two? Community service on campus for Stark and Firestep, I wonder if any of it is in Hawthorne. Some parts of this story will remain a mystery to all but those who were involved and unaffected by the ring. Oh boy, Firestep's altered feet left marks behind all over that room.
Makes as much sense as anything at Whateley Academy.And so, the legend of the mind-controlling, fire-breathing lizard experiment lurking down in the Tangle was born among the members of staff and as well among the students.
Tanya trying to get Vic to tell her the whole story. Vic, stop hesitating and ask Tanya out already! Ah, so Vic told his part of the story. Tanya has a point, Vic, that is the One Ring. Lord of the Rings references, water magic used by Arwen, ack! Got a visual of Vic as a female from that. Yay, Vic is still in contact with Danny and Lizzy.Wednesday, November 9, 2016 - 5:15 pm
Whateley Campus
Wooo, Tanya kissed Vic, it is about time. They are just too adorable how shy they are with each other. Yes, you still need to ask Tanya out to become a couple, Vic. Off to Doyle to get the splints off, at least it was only a few days.
Yes, Vic, don't overthink it or you might stop yourself from acting. Dr. Gutierrez, why did Nurse Tanuyan direct Vic to her? Maybe a little too well, huh? No nerve or joint damage, no trembling or weakness, strange. Healing better than expected, not an Exemplar, no regenerative trait, so what is going on? A redo of power testing, arrggh! An itchy spot on his arm, did something in the tunnels get inside him when he first fell into the canal? Like some bio-devisor experiment that can improve its host or something?Sometime later…
No Amazons around and these boys are showing up, uh oh. Dereck Seaver, Gwen's boyfriend, is there and bragging about how much he can bench press now with his powers. Chris shows up and Gwen isn't up to a casual date, is something wrong? Gwen has to keep secret what happened Saturday evening from Dereck, thanks for the save, Chris.Monday, November 7, 2016 - 4:20 pm
Just outside of Poe Cottage
Unless you have something about your nature like Vic or a connection to the ring like Caro and Morgana you can't resist the temptation of the ring easily. Aww, Chris having to keep that secret sucks, she was awesome as a blind monk. Yes, listen to Chris, start with small things to mend bridges. Hehe, figure Chris really does need help with her history homework. And what is on the board in Crystal Hall that is such big news?
Why do they have those tools? Do they need to do something to them to remove the taint of the ring or destroy them as well? And Grimma, no punishments for Caro, not even Morgana knew she had such a thing in her blood. Will the staff of the school ever know the full story of what happened with the ring? The world may never know.Monday, November 7, 2016 - 5:51 pm
The tunnels, (B4)
Time to finish up the paperwork and end the story on this story. And eep, Morgana, I hope it didn't hurt too much. Yes, a simple enchantment for that ring, going complex without a lot more planning almost always blows up in your face. Gave Caro a vial of her blood and Thulia told Morgana how to quell some of the chaotic nature of her blood, please have a staff member around if you try this again.
Morgana has a date, I wonder where the two lovebirds will go. Yes, take your time to make up your mind on what to do, and play it smart.
This was a fun story from start to finish, I loved seeing how the various students interacted with each other. And the ring, good grief, I've never wanted to see a magical item destroyed more than that thing. I say its corrupting influence was worse than its namesake. How it twisted each person differently, but always brought out the worst in them was the most terrifying aspect.
And the 'Tangle', we have heard about it before, but the true dangers of it were never seen until now. And I'm not sure we saw even half of what it could do to mess with people down there. I'm so glad everyone got out alive and intact even if they needed healing.
As for what Caro does with the other ring and Morgana's blood, I hope it goes well next time and she puts some sort of limitation on the ring to prevent it from pulling a stunt like this again.
Thank You for the story comments appreciated and help me know they are being read and liked. Note: My story comments can't nor are trying to replace reading the stories, simply my way of enjoying them and letting the authors know I enjoy them.
Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.
( I can't work out how to use the "spoilers" forum mechanic, so i won't say more than that. )
Looking forward to re-reading again.
Also, given the magical nature of The Tangle, and this quote "And so, the legend of the mind-controlling, fire-breathing lizard experiment lurking down in the Tangle was born among the members of staff and as well among the students.", what are the odds that something will be created from the burgeoning myth?
Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.
- Astrodragon
- Online
- Author
- Posts: 217
- Thank you received: 140
Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.
- Forum
- The Classrooms - Story Feedback
- Kirby Hall - The Second Generation
- Lady of the Ring by MaLAguA